Take Me Home: Outtakes and Extras
by LovinRob
Summary: Outtakes and extras from the FF Take Me Home. These are not in any particular order. This section will include various outtakes from other characters, added scenes, and possibly some special documents.
1. Outtake: Dr Esme Masen

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Once again thank you to my amazing Beta's A & C for your guidance, encouragement & support. Now, today is my 45th birthday and since I can't offer you all birthday cake and ice cream I thought I would offer the next best thing. So, I give you this outtake from one of my favorite characters, Dr. Esme Masen. This outtake is from her session with Bella until after she meets with Edward. Enjoy! While I go ogle my special homemade birthday cheese cake….YUM! (It's to early for me to actually have a slice, that is a little to much creamy goodness for 6:00 in the morning!)**

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><p><strong>Outtake: OMG! Now what?<strong>

I have always seen myself as a reasonable woman. I pay my taxes; I have a job that I love doing, a husband I adore and two beautiful children that have grown into kind and responsible adults. But as I hear Ms. Swan talking about what her "E" told her about his ex-girlfriend, Kate, it dawns on me that she is talking about my Edward, my beautiful and caring son. And I am not sure if reasonable is what comes to mind. I mean, this grown woman, this highly sexualized woman, who came into my office because she had sex with two underage young men, this same woman has spent the last 4 weeks discussing her encounters with MY son, a fact I didn't even realize until now. Oh God! I practically told her to go for it.

I feel like I can't breathe. She is looking out the window like she always does when she discusses important situations or events. As I think about it, it makes sense. But my God! This can't be happening. I know of other therapists that have run into this type of problem, but I never have. I have been practicing for 20 years now and nothing like this has ever happened to me. I feel like I am hyperventilating as I drop my pen to the ground and put my head between my legs, trying to get my breathing under control. I can't let her know, I should stop seeing her immediately but we only have one more session and I know I can still be objective, at least for one more session. That is if I can get it together right now. The next thing I feel is her fingers at my wrist checking my pulse as she lifts my head slightly looking into my eyes.

"Dr. Masen, are you okay? Are you having a heart attack?" she asks me and I shake my head, "A panic attack?" God! I shake my head again.

"No, I'm fine. Just give me a second." I whisper to her.

She hasn't moved yet though, she is watching me like a hawk. I take a few more breathes and try to steady myself. I need to get through this session and then I can call Carlisle and find out what he knows, then I will need to get in touch with Edward to confirm that the girl he is dating is indeed Ms. Swan. Finally, I look at her and offer her a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan. I have heard a very similar story to that one. It… I'm sorry." I stutter out.

"It's fine. Are you sure you are okay?" she is still looking at me like I am crazy.

"Yes, yes. I am fine. Please continue. He told you what happened and then what?" I say flustered.

She sits down and starts talking again. "Uh, well we had sex and then I asked him to spend the night and then the next morning I asked him to spend the day with me, which turned into the night as well. So he came for dinner on Wednesday and left Friday morning. It was great. A little nerve wracking at first but overall it was great. I don't know. I told him about how I moved to Seattle and a little bit about Renee and all her husband's. I mean except for James." Then she laughs, "We even played Scrabble which I haven't played in a long time."

I stare at her for a minute, trying to wrap my head around everything she has just said and am torn by what I should say as her therapist and what I want to say as Edward's mom.

"That is a big step for you. How did you feel after it was all over?" I finally ask her. Edward's mom will just need to take a back seat; she needs a therapist right now. Just hold it together Esme.

"What do you mean?" she looks at me confused.

"I mean after the adrenaline was gone, after he left on Friday and you were alone. How did you feel? The last time you felt confused and nervous. Was that there again?" I say.

"Oddly, no, the only thing I really felt was…" she hesitates and looks down for a minute before looking back up to me, "I just missed him."

Oh God! This is bigger than I thought it was. I think she is falling for him. She is probably already in love with him. Not that I blame her, Edward is very charming in that innocent kind of way and he is very handsome, a fact that has girls throwing themselves at him on a regular basis.

Finally I stutter out, half stunned, "You missed him?"

She sighs, "Yes, I missed him. So much so that I actually called him this morning without realizing I was dialing his number." She looks to the ground again like she did something wrong.

"You called him this morning?" I ask.

"Yes." She says as she goes back to the window. Okay, something else is going on here. She only goes to that window when she is confused or scared or talking about her nightmares. My guess is a nightmare since she called him this morning.

"Did you have another nightmare?" I ask.

She turns around and looks at me like I just read her mind. No, I just pay attention Ms. Swan, except, obviously I missed some very important clues regarding you having sex with my son.

She continues to tell me about her nightmare and we discuss her changing therapists after we are done. She is not happy about that. I was going to ask her to continue with me. She seems to trust me and I know that it is rare for her to trust anyone. I could have put her in my schedule but with her dating Edward I just can't. That would be a serious conflict of interest for me. It's not like we live in a small community where things like this happen all the time and there aren't any other therapists to refer people to. But I just can't abandon her right now. She has had to many people in her life walk out on her. If I just stopped seeing her without a concluding session that would cause her more harm than good. I think I have done well today and I only have one more session which I am confident I can do. I just need to talk with someone about it.

We spend the rest of the time talking about Edward, her day with him and her frustration with him planning things for her. Well, if they stay together she better get used to that. By the time she leaves I am back to Dr. Masen and not Mrs. Cullen. When she walks out I sit back down in one of my chairs, running my hands through my hair. What am I going to do about this? I go to my desk and pick up the phone.

"_Cullen Enterprise, How can I help you?" Jessica says sweetly._

"_Hi Jessica. Is he available?" I ask_

"_Sorry, Mrs. Cullen. He is in a meeting but he is scheduled to be out of it by 1:00. Would you like to leave a message?" She asks._

_I sigh; I don't want to leave him a message. I need to see him. "No, could you tell him I will be there at 1:00."_

"_I believe he has another meeting scheduled after that." she says._

_I am flustered now so I raise my voice slightly. "Jessica. I need to talk to my husband. He can spare some time with me."_

_She stammers a bit, I don't generally raise my voice and I never insist on seeing him at work, so I am sure she isn't sure what she is supposed to do. "I think I can reschedule his 1:00 to probably 2:00. That will give you an hour. Is that enough?"_

"_Thank you. Yes, that should be fine. Just let him know I will be there at 1:00." I say softly, back to my normal therapist voice._

"_It's okay Mrs. Cullen." She stutters for a minute and then says, "I hope everything is okay."_

"_Everything is fine." I say and then hang up._

Just then my secretary buzzes me informing me that my next client is here. I ask her to clear the rest of my day and smile as my client walks in.

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><p>Okay, that was probably not my most productive session. It's a good thing I cleared my day because I am definitely distracted. As my client leaves, I pick up my cell phone and send Edward a text. He replies right away.<p>

*****Sure, is everything alright? E*****

God! That boy worries all the time. Of course he has always been that way. Introverted, brilliant, and nervous and of course utterly handsome. I thought that things were changing when he became a junior in high school and he tried out for the baseball team. He was real good and made varsity but he just didn't have the competitiveness necessary to really succeed in athletics. Then college reinforced his tendency to want to be alone. When he met Kate I was excited, considering he never really had a steady girlfriend until then. Oh, I know he had sex before Kate but I am pretty sure not very much. He was always more interested in reading about love than actually experiencing it. I sigh as I type my reply to him and then pick up my office phone to call Alice.

_Alice picks up on the first ring. "Hi, Mom. How's your day?" she says cheerily_

I can't help but smile. That's my Alice, a walking ray of sunshine. She is probably the happiest person on the earth. She was just born that way. She is the polar opposite of Edward. She is happiest when around lots of people, bubbly and full of energy. She exudes happiness and therefore makes those around her feel joyful. It's hard to feel sad or hopeless when she is near. From the time they were very little she has always been the one that could reach Edward and make him feel better about anything. Sometimes she was the only one. Together they were always able to balance each other out.

"_Interesting." That seems to be the best way to describe my day so far. "I want the family to get together at 6:00 today at the Marriott. Please cancel your plans so you can be there." I say _

My cell phone buzzes and I look at Edward's message. Okay, 3:00, that's good, it gives me a couple of hours to figure out what is going on and make some kind of plan.

"_I'm supposed to meet Jasper. Is everything okay? Are we having a family meeting or something?" Alice asks._

"_What! No, hold on." I say as I type a reply to Edward._

I am generally good at multi-tasking but I am not doing so well right now. Trying to talk to them both at the same time is turning out to be stressful.

"_Alice, please just meet the family at the Marriot at 6:00. I need to go meet with your father so I will talk to you later." I say flustered as I read Edwards latest message, smiling slightly._

*****I love you too, mom. See you later. E*****

"_Alright Mom, I will see everyone at 6." Alice says hanging up._

I look at my watch and rush out of my office, telling my secretary that I will be out for a few hours and that I am expecting Edward at 3:00.

* * *

><p>When I walk into Carlisle's building I see him talking to Mike. He is watching me approach, looking at me with concern. I don't blame him. I never come to his office and I basically just made his assistant reschedule a meeting so that I could talk to him.<p>

"Thank you, Mike. We will talk about this further later this afternoon." He says to the eager boy that caused Edward so much trouble in school. Why Carlisle hired him is beyond me.

"Okay sir." He says as he smiles at me and walks away to talk to Jessica.

Carlisle looks at me and kisses my forehead. "This is unexpected. Let's go into my office."

I follow him inside and sit on one of the couches he has, while he leans against the desk. He looks very sharp in his dark suit. He was out of the house before me today so I didn't see him before he left. God! Sometimes I forget how handsome he is.

"What's going on Es?" he says worriedly.

I sigh. "Tell me about this girl that Edward is dating?"

"I thought you didn't want to know anything about her until he told you?" he says arching a brow at me.

"That was before…" I hesitate. I know we have the whole marital confidentiality but that doesn't mean I can tell him about my clients. There is only a minimal amount of information I can share. "I think he is seeing one of my clients. Well, I am almost positive he is."

He gasps, "Shit!" then he furrows his brows, "What kind of client, one of your court cases or a self referral?"

"Does it matter?" I ask confused.

"Yes, it does." He says adamantly. "If it is a court case, that concerns me since you deal with assault cases primarily. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with Edward being involved with someone like that."

"You know I can't tell you that." I say to him, making him frown at me and cross his arms.

I sigh and look at him pleadingly, "Please, just tell me what he has said."

"He is dating a young woman and it is in the beginning stages of the relationship" he pauses for a minute, "They are very sexual, they have been out a few times and overall he seems very smitten with her."

I put my head down and bring my hands into my hair, breathing hard. That is definitely Ms. Swan. Oh God! All the things she has told me about flood through my mind. Shit! She tied him up. I start breathing hard again, God! She had public sex with him on the pier. Oh God, she gave him fellatio in the school library. I start shaking my head, chanting softly "no, no, no, no, no."

Carlisle comes over to me and puts his arms around me, holding me close. Stroking my hair and running his hands down my back.

"Es, you are really scaring me." He whispers as he kisses the top of my head. "Is she bad for him, because he seems really happy? Happier than I have ever seen him."

I let out a deep breath. "No, she isn't "bad" but she is troubled. She has had a very difficult life and that has made her view the world very harshly. I know that her relationship with Edward is changing her but I don't know…." I pause trying to figure out what to say.

I don't know why I am afraid. I think it is because this is all so new for her and there is no way to know how she will respond to it and I can't bear to see him hurt. To see the look on his face again that was there after Kate committed suicide. That nearly broke him and I can't imagine what the loss of Ms. Swan would do to him. From the things Ms. Swan has said I had the distinct impression that he was in love with her, that she was just in denial of that because she didn't know how to identify her own feelings.

"I'm just afraid she will hurt him." I say softly.

Carlisle chuckles against me. "Honey, you can't stop him from getting hurt."

Then he pulls away from me slightly, looking into my eyes with a very serious expression, "But there is no way he will stop seeing her. He is in love and when a Cullen man is in love they will do absolutely anything to make their love happy." He then leans in and kisses me passionately.

For a moment I forget my concern about Edward and get lost in the feel of my husband's lips on mine, as he gently caresses my back. Even though we have been married for over 25 years he still makes my whole body tingle when he kisses me. I pull away from him slightly and rest my head against his chest.

"Are you worried it will turn out badly like Kate?" he asks softly.

"I don't think she would do anything like that." Geez, she's troubled but she was pretty agitated at what Kate did. She isn't giving me any of those types of warning signs.

Finally I sigh. "You know, we really need to stop bringing up Kate anytime we have a conversation about Edward."

"I know. But it still seems relevant." He kisses the top of my head again, "Have you talked to Edward yet?"

"He is coming over after his last class around 3, so we will talk then." I say

"Good. Let him tell you how much he cares about her." He says knowingly.

"I called Alice and told her to meet us at the Marriot tonight at 6. I want to have dinner together. We haven't done that in awhile. Is that okay?" I ask.

"I will make it work, love." He says as he runs his fingers up my arms and gently touches the side of my breast as he goes. "You're so tense Es; maybe we should do something about that." He says hoarsely.

I smile as I lean up to kiss him. "Hmm, what did you have in mind?"

He smiles as he runs his hand down my face. He kisses me deeply and we remove our clothes swiftly, making love in his office as if we were two love sick teenagers. And, I forget why I went to see him in the first place and focus solely on my husband and the feel of his body against mine.

When Jessica buzzes in to tell him his meeting will start in 10 minutes, we put ourselves back together and walk out of his office. Mike is standing with a couple of other employees near the door. I would assume they are waiting for Carlisle. Mike is watching us and glances at Jessica. I don't trust him. He seems to be up to something.

Carlisle walks me to the door as his employees acknowledge his presence. When we get to the door he kisses me lightly on the top of my head, "Honey, don't worry so much about Edward, I am sure this relationship is good for both of them." He says as he runs his fingers down my face.

I sigh, "I hope you're right. I will see you at 6, okay?"

He kisses me again and then whispers in my ear, "Thank you for this afternoon, it was the most pleasant surprise. I'm not sure how I am going to be able to focus on anything else though."

I just grin and walk out, glancing at my watch. I have time before Edward gets to my office.

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><p>I get back to my office about 20 minutes before Edward is to arrive. I feel a lot better after visiting Carlisle. Partly by our conversation but also making love in his office was phenomenal, we haven't done that in years. I am at my computer, charting, when Edward comes in. I look up and smile as I get up, walking around my desk to give him a hug. I motion for him to sit down which he does.<p>

"Hey mom. So what's up?" he says casually but there is a slight edge to his voice.

I just smile. "Edward, it's been awhile since we talked. I know you have been busy with school but your dad has also told me you have started dating again?" I glance at his neck and frown. Obviously he has seen Ms. Swan because he has a huge hickey on his neck. "And from the look of your neck you have seen each other recently."

He sighs. "Yes, she came by to see me at school today. What exactly did dad tell you?"

I am still frowning at this huge hickey, my God! She had to have worked on that for awhile. Why didn't he stop her? Why did he let her mark him like that? Finally I move my eyes away from that monstrous mark marring his neck and look up at him. "Edward, it's not your dad's place to tell me anything about your love life. How come YOU didn't tell me anything?" He just stares at me like I asked him to solve some complicated math problem."He just said that you were dating a young woman, that it was in the beginning stages and that you were smitten with her." I left out the fact that he said you two were very sexual.

"He said I was smitten?" he asks.

Honestly Edward, focus here, I frown again, "Edward you didn't answer my question. Why didn't you tell me about her? You have always been able to talk to me in the past. What's different about this girl?"

After staring at me he finally smiles, "Is this how you get your clients to talk?"

Now it's my turn to stare at him. Well, if he would just say what I need to hear this wouldn't be so complicated. Finally I just smile, "Sometimes." And then I arch my brow at him which causes him to smile.

"Sorry, Mom." He says.

Then he gets up and walks over to the window, looking outside at the people walking around. I can't help the gasp that escapes my mouth. No one ever goes to that window but Ms. Swan. Why would he do that? Go to the exact spot she did just hours before, almost mimicking her exact movements. I am just gaping at him when I hear his voice.

"What?" he asks.

I just close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Tell me about her."

He starts telling me about her, hesitant at first but then he goes on about how much he loves her and that he wants to marry her. Oh God! Did he just say marry her? I gasp again. Shit! This is definitely a lot more serious than I originally thought. Ms. Swan really has no idea how bad he has it for her. Oh God! Esme, just breathe in, breathe out, and whatever you do, stay calm.

"Well, I'm not going to marry her right this minute, but eventually." He clarifies probably noticing the crazed look on my face.

"And how does she feel about you?" I finally muster out.

"Uh, I don't know. I mean I haven't even told her I love her yet." he sighs and turns back around to look outside the window again. "She's been through a lot." He lets out a deep breath before continuing. "She's guarded. I am trying not to push her. Dad told me I should take it slow." He sighs again. "I don't know if I am doing such a good job at going slow though."

Edward, go slow? I can't imagine that happening and smile at the thought that he would go slow in his pursuit of her. As if he even stood a chance at resisting her in the first place. "Well, you have never gone slowly in anything you have wanted."

How can I ask him this without him being suspicious, finally I let out a soft breathe, "Edward, what do you really "know" about her?"

"What do you mean?" He says as he turns to look at me.

I look down, I need to regroup here. I can't tell him that Ms. Swan is my client. But I need to stress my concern. This is turning out to be more difficult than I thought it would be. Finally I look up at him.

"I am just worried about you, after everything that happened with Kate." I say

God! I just told Carlisle that we needed to stop mentioning Kate and here I go bringing her up. He gives me that look he always gives when anyone brings her up. But the reality is, he didn't see how troubled Kate was and he should have ended it long before he did. If I had known everything that was going on I could have helped him. Now, here he is again, involved with another troubled girl. Except this situation is worse because he has seriously fallen in love with her and Carlisle was definitely right. There isn't anything he wouldn't do for her. I just don't know how well she will respond to that.

"I don't know honey. You just seem to be a magnet for troubled souls." I finally say softly.

He frowns at me. I get up and walk over to him and glance out the window, the same window Ms. Swan was at when she told me everything about their relationship, everything but his name.

"What is it about this window?" I wonder out loud.

"Huh?" he asks confused

I put my arm around his waist and lean into him. We stand like this for a few minutes just watching the people walk along below us. Maybe it could work. I don't know. Maybe I am just being paranoid and overprotective. I make a comment about Ms. Swan, without using her name of course and then look down again, shaking my head slightly. God, even when she isn't around he is drawn to where she's been. I look up at him and he is watching me.

"Please be careful Edward. I know I am overprotective of you but," I look down again and shake my head. He isn't going to slow down and her behavior indicates she isn't going to stay away from him either. Finally I look up at him again, "I think you need to really talk to this girl, find out what she is about. You need to know what you're getting yourself into. I don't want a repeat of Kate."

"She's not like Kate." He says indignantly.

"No, probably not, but you yourself said she's been through a lot and that she is guarded. I just don't want you hurt." I then lean up and kiss him on the forehead. I think this is the hardest thing to do as a mother. To stand by and watch, it's like watching a wreck getting ready to happen and not being able to do anything to stop it.

"You can't prevent that Mom." he says with a smile.

"I know, but I can try can't I?" I say as I pull him into a hug.

I hug him for a few minutes, before walking over to my desk, looking through my drawer for Eleazar's number. "We are all eating out tonight. It's been a long time. Go home and put something on that will cover that mark on your neck and meet us at the Marriott at 6:00. I have already talked to your father and sister. God, this has been one hell of a day!"

I look at him and he is just standing there staring at me. Honestly Edward. Was what I said so difficult to understand?

"Edward, I have had an emotional roller coaster of a day and I want to spend it with my family. Please go home and change." I finally say, exacerbated.

He heads out of my office and I sit back down at my desk, laying my head down, sighing deeply. Finally I pick up the phone.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hi Eleazar. It's Esme."_

"_Esme, how have you been?" he asks cheerily._

"_Um, I have a conflict of interest issue that I would like to visit with you about. Are you free anytime this week?"_

"_Of course. Hold on, let me check my schedule."_

_Eleazar will help me process this, help me get a hold of my objectivity, so I can do my last session with Ms. Swan and then deal with the after effects of her dating Edward and the fact that he plans on introducing her to us sometime after they get back from their weekend away._

"_I have some time this Thursday. Will that work?"_

"_Yes, thank you."_

We spent about ten minutes talking about old times. He is one of my trusted friends and colleagues and we have always been able to consult with one another on complicated cases or to discuss ethical concerns. I am lucky to have him around. At least I will be able to tell him everything because he is bound by the same confidentiality as I am. I need to get a grip on these feelings I am having before my next session with Ms. Swan. God! I just wish I could tell her who I am. This is a nightmare waiting to happen.

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><p><strong>AN… Ah, well hope you enjoyed my birthday gift to you…LOL… I thought I would throw this out there; explain what was going on in her head and how she was able to get it together by the last session. Consultation can do wonders…LOL… well; Bella is meeting his parents next. Is everyone READY?**


	2. Outtake: Emmett

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Once again thank you to my amazing Beta's A & C for your guidance, encouragement & support. Well today is A's B-day… YEAH! Sooooo, I asked her what she wanted and lo and behold she wanted a lemony dose of Emmett. I know right! What can I say, she loves her some Emmett. So this outtake is dedicated to Amanda, who fixes all my comma issues before I post, making TMH look purty (you have no idea how bad my grammar is…LOL). So check out the blog for the video of the song used and for some very yummy Kellan/Emmett eye candy.**

**Happy Birthday Amanda! Love ya girl **

* * *

><p>Come here rude boy, can you get it up<br>Come here rude boy, is you big enough  
>Take it, take it, baby, baby<br>Take it, take it, love me, love me

Tonight, I'm a give it to you harder  
>Tonight, I'm a turn your body out<br>Relax, Let me do it how I wanna  
>If you got it, I need it, and I'm a put it down<p>

Buckle up, I'm a give it to you stronger  
>Hands up, we can go a little longer<br>Tonight, I'm a get a little crazy  
>Get a little crazy, baby<p>

I like the way you touch me there  
>I like the way you pull my hair<br>Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking  
>No, more no, no<p>

I like when you tell me kiss it there  
>I like when you tell me move it there<br>So giddy up, time to giddy up

You say you're a rude boy, show me what you got now

Rude Boy by Rhianna

**Outtake: Let's Get This Party Started!**

Emmett POV

I am watching as my girl helps Bella stitch up E. Stupid idiot! If he wanted Riley's ass kicked I could have done it easily and hell I certainly wouldn't need to be stitched up afterwards. Well, E was handling himself alright I guess, for an amateur. Obviously he hasn't been in too many fights or he would have known a punk like Riley would make a bitch move like throwing something. I'm surprised he didn't just pull E's hair. I start pushing everyone back. Geez, nosy damn busy bodies. Then I glance back at Rosie. Fuck she looks hot in that outfit; she's had my number all damn night, almost as bad as she did at the club when we first met.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Rosalie, I need to talk to you." Bella says getting up and grabbing Rosalie by the arm dragging her to the restroom. Holy Shit! I lean over to E._

"_E, what's the 411 on Bella's friend?"_

_He smiles that smart ass grin of his, like he knows something I don't. "She's single, she's a nurse, and she's been Bella's friend for quite a while so, I don't know… you might not be able to handle her." He says laughing as he takes a long sip from his beer._

"_What the fuck E! You think I can't __**handle**__ Rosalie?"_

_He just shrugs in response. Well, fuck him. He's the inexperienced one here. I can handle anything she dishes out. I see them coming from the bathroom just as the waiter starts putting the food on the table. I go to reach for some and Rosalie slaps my hand away. What the hell!_

"_Hey! Haven't you ever heard the saying ladies first?" she says as she motions for her friends to get something to eat, as she rolls her eyes at me._

_I just stare at her. When suddenly she moves and sits on my lap. She smiles as she pushes her knee against my raging hard on, and then leans in closely, practically rubbing her tits in my face, before whispering in my ear._

"_Is that for me handsome?" then she reaches down and strokes me on top of my jeans, "Nice, very nice." She says as she nibbles on my ear._

_Holy Shit! I just smile at her and I know I must be blushing because she has this satisfied grin on her face. Throughout the night everyone is laughing and joking and I am in fucking Rosalie LaLaLand. I probably hear every other word that is said because every other word Rosalie is either touching me or kissing me and I am about to spill my load in my jeans which would be a fucking waste. Bella pulls her away from me and talks to her and Alice, talking real serious like. We're in the middle of a club how serious can anything be. I swear girls are just weird sometimes. After Bella and E leave she comes back to my lap and I start kissing down her neck._

"_Let's get the fuck out of here?" _

"_Can't... Told my girl I would give her some time to do what she needs to do."_

"_Fuck, Rosie! I'm dying here."_

_She laughs. I can't believe it. She fucking laughs. _

"_Okay." She says grinning at my expression._

"_When the limo gets back lets drive around, I can't have you dying on me." She says before bringing her mouth to my neck, running her tongue up and down. Damn! If my cock could groan it would be louder than a mofo right now._

_We continue to make out at our table and I swear if that limo doesn't get here quick I am going to fuck her on this table. It seemed to take the driver forever to get his ass back here. What did he do, take a damn detour?_

"_Where are you going folks?"_

"_Who the fuck cares man? Just drive around, alright?" Then I give him a nod, shit, it's not his fault I'm as hard as a rock._

_We get in and I swear that dress of hers rides all the way up her thighs and I can fucking see paradise peeking out at me. I continue to stare at her as I tap the window dividing the driver from us._

"_Hey man, keep this window up, alright?"_

_I start to unbutton my pants but she grins and wags her finger at me._

"_Not yet handsome." _

_She hikes that skirt up above her hips exposing a pink lace thong. Then she moves real close to me, bringing that pink perfection close to my face. I grab her exposed ass pulling her closer so I can inhale her. Then she hits the button to the moon roof of the limo and pulls away from me, poking her head out the top, turning so her ass is facing me._

_Holy Shit! I jump up, standing behind her and pulling her close to me. She starts rubbing her bare ass against my crotch as I suck on her neck. God, she feels so good. She turns around and the wind is blowing her hair back. Fuck she is beautiful! I kiss her as the movement of the limo jerks us around causing us both to laugh as our mouths smash against each other, our tongues fighting for dominance._

"_Fuck yeah man! Own that shit!" some guy yells from a passing car._

_She moves her mouth from my lips and bites down on my neck, sucking hard much to the amusement of the car load next to us. All the while she is unbuttoning my pants and pulls me out, stroking up and down my length. Before I know what's happening she drops inside the limo placing my cock in her mouth. _

"_Oh shit man! Is she giving you head?" the guy yells and all I can do is smile as I look down at her. _

_She can't take me all the way in her mouth. No woman can but I'll be damn. She has no gag reflex at all. The wind and the motion of the car is moving me around so I grip the ledge of the moon roof tightly, trying to keep myself from swaying too much and jerking out of her mouth. Cause damn! Her mouth feels like the fucking promise land. She keeps moving my cock as far back as it will go and then pulling it almost all the way out, sucking my head before taking me to the back of her throat again. Fuck! She actually has me feeling light headed, like some virgin getting head for the first time. It feels so good but I swear if she deep throats me again I know I am going to fucking come hard. I won't be able to stop the explosion that will ensue. She must hear my thoughts because she glances up at me and gives me a wicked grin before taking me deep in her throat again hallowing her cheeks out and fluttering her eyes at me. Oh… Fuck… Me… I come for what feels like days yelling at the top of my lungs for all of Seattle to hear._

"_Hell... Fucking… Yeah!"_

_Yep, best fucking head EVAH!_

**END FLASHBACK**

I watch E and Bella walk past me and then feel Rosie's hands run over my ass and then come up between my legs, squeezing my balls before fondling me. Damn that woman. She knows these pants can barely hold me in and here she is making sure I am bulging. Not that I care if people see what I got but you would think it would bother her. She moves her hands around my waist and runs them up over my abs and chest, whimpering as she feels my muscles move and shift underneath her fingers.

"You're gonna unleash my dragon if you keep that up" I look back over my shoulder to her, wagging my eyebrows.

She grins, "Hmm, is that supposed to be a deterrent?" she says as she moves in front of me, pushing her shirt open more than it already is.

I lean down, nuzzling into her ample cleavage, licking her, up and around her exposed tits. God she has the best tits I have ever seen. But I ain't doing this in the bathroom of my old frat house. Shit, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm gonna do it in the damn bedroom of my old frat house!

"Come on. There is a bedroom down the hall."

"Hold on." She says as she grabs a hand towel from the rack. I smile, my girl is always prepared.

I take her down the hall. I know this place like the back of my hand. Well I better considering I practically lived at the house my entire time at UW. I was a chapter president at one point and if I must say a damn legend here as well. Now, well, I can pretty much do whatever the hell I want as a distinguished alumni and shit. I take her inside the bedroom and she pushes me back against the bed.

I had pulled off my shirt earlier in the evening. That shit was uncomfortable and since I was showing everything already, what the fuck was the point? So I quickly pull off my boots, then my pants and lie completely naked on the bed. I start to take my hat off but she shakes her head at me, smiling wickedly. Ok, guess the fireman hat stays on. I lean up using my arms for support while I watch her unzip her dress. She slips it off and then pulls off her bra, exposing that fuck awesome rack of hers. She is standing before me in her black boots, black thong and black fireman hat. Holy Shit! I can't help it; I fucking move my hand to my shaft, moving it up and down slowly as I watch her stealthily approach me.

"I believe that is my job, Em" she says moving my hand and replacing it with hers.

She strokes me a few times as I drop back on the bed, moaning loudly. I feel something soft around me and look down realizing she has moved my cock between her breasts. She is pushing her silky soft tits up and down over me and oh shit she's going to let me come all over her tits. Fuck! I need to watch this. I lift myself up resting back on my arms watching her as she bats her eyes at me.

"Do you want to come on my tits, Em?"

"Fuck yeah!"

She grins and then leans her head down so that every time I come up her mouth comes down on my head. Holy hell, I think I have fucking died and gone to heaven. She is so fucking hot in that outfit and seeing my head disappear in her mouth is fucking too much.

"Fuck, Rosie!"

I start breathing hard as I feel myself pulse. I close my eyes automatically and then open them quickly because fuck, I need to watch myself come on her. I have asked her to let me do this for weeks but she keeps saying no. There is no way I'm fucking missing this.

"Ooohhhh… Fuuucccckkkkk." I stutter loudly.

I shift my hips up at her, I can't fucking help it and she picks up speed on her movements as I feel the silkiness of her breast and then the wetness of her mouth, then her breast, then her mouth, over and over again until I can't take it anymore and I cum all over those fucking beautiful tits of hers. I fall to the bed, panting and hear her chuckling as she cleans herself off. Then she straddles me pulling my lip into her mouth, biting down on it hard.

"So, how long before you're ready to go again?" she says playfully.

Oh hell. I grab her and toss her down on the bed. Kissing her tits which still taste like me, which is kind of weird but also kind of hot too! When I get to her thong I grab the flimsy material in my mouth and rip it off causing her to start giggling underneath me. She grabs my hat and tosses it across the room as I start growling and biting up her thighs until I reach her pussy which is hot and wet.

"Is this for me?" I say smiling as I repeat what she said to me at the club.

"Damn right it is, now stop fucking around Em and take care of me." She says arching up to my mouth.

I laugh against her and start nibbling at her hot nub, running my tongue up and down her. I then start inserting first two, then three of my fingers. I got to prep my girl because I know I am fucking huge.

"More." She pants as I insert another finger inside her.

I move her clit into my mouth, sucking on her hot flesh and pumping my fingers in and out. Fuck she is so fucking wet already. I feel her body vibrate and then she arches up, moving her hands to the back of my head pushing my face deep into her pussy. I smile against her, now she's fucking ready for me. I spread her legs and look down at her.

"You ready for me Rosie?"

"YES, YES, YES, YES." She pants

I move inside her slowly, watching her expression as she takes me in.

"Fuck Em, just push all the way. I want to feel ALL of you. NOW!"

Well, who am I to deny my girl. I push into her hard and she arches up moaning loudly. God! Her pussy always feels so damn good. I move in and out of her over and over again, thrusting quickly, because she won't ever let me go slow. Thank God I am in fucking shape or this girl would kill my ass.

"Rosie you feel fucking awesome." I shout above our panting.

I continue to thrust into her repeatedly. I can feel myself building and know I don't have much longer so I push into her harder, the force making her move up the bed, hitting her head against the bed frame.

"Oh shit! Sorry Rosie, Shit!" I say starting to slow down.

"No… FUCK… don't stop Em! DON'T FUCKING STOP!" she screams at me.

"Uggggghhhhhh." is all I am capable of at this time.

I grab her leg, and throw it up over my shoulder, as I push into her again. She starts screaming and moaning loudly and then I feel her whole body convulse around me, causing my head to fucking spin as I push into her again and cum hard, as she tightens around me. We are both panting wildly and are startled when someone knocks on the door.

"Hey… Bear, you almost done in there?" someone says and then all we hear is laughter throughout the hall. I grab some kind of paperweight or something that is on the nightstand and toss it at the door.

"Fuck, Bear!"

I look at Rosie and she is smirking at me. I shrug and pull out of her watching her wince when I withdraw. I grab the towel she used earlier, making a quick swipe over my shaft and then toss it to her. I get up and grab my fireman hat from across the room and watch as Rosie's eyes glass over as I stand there, naked except for my hat. I smirk at her as I saunter back to her like some kind of model. I stand before her and she kisses along my abs and the hair leading to my cock, she moves her hands behind me squeezing my ass and pulling me closer to her. I move my hands into her hair and feel myself harden again as she runs her tongue up and around my length. I hear a loud growl come from deep inside me. She smiles and moves on the bed, getting on her hands and knees. She looks back at me and grins and I launch at her.

I enter her quickly, she's still fucking wet from before and already prepped for me. She starts hollering for me to go faster. So I pump into her faster and faster, pushing her across the bed. I grab her hip forcing her still as our moans echo in the room. Shit! I force her body back to me, lifting her up slightly so I can enter her at another angle. She screams in pleasure as I find her spot. Oh fuck yeah! After a few more thrusts I feel her pussy tighten around me and with a few more thrusts on my part I am coming for the third tie tonight. Fuck I love this girl!

I pull out of her quickly and kiss her shoulder. She moves around and grabs the towel again, cleaning herself off. I am staring at her when I blurt out.

"Fuck, Rosie. I fucking love you!"

She laughs. Damn her. "I fucking love you too, Em!"

I grin as I bend over to her, kissing her deeply. I walk over to the other side of the bed and grab my pants and boots, slipping them on quickly.

"Hey Rosie, come to the game with me tomorrow? We can sit in the box. The owner loves me."

She glances at me. "Will you have to do something for the team?"

"Probably not, but if I do it won't be for very long." I move around the bed and then push her back on it smiling as I kiss her, "Come on I will give you the grand tour. The guys want to meet you."

"Okay, okay." She says giggling.

I get up, pulling her up with me, swinging her around in a circle. Fucking A! I am a personal trainer for the Seahawks and I have been trying to get her down to a game since we met. The guys think I am exaggerating but they will see how fucking beautiful she is and how perfect we are together. And fuck maybe we can have sex in the locker room. That would be so hot.

"Come on, let's go."

She laughs and throws her clothes on. As we walk along the hall everyone starts clapping and cheering. Fucking kids! But then to my surprise, Rosie steps in front of me and does the most fucking awesome curtsy known to man. Which is a damn miracle considering how short her dress is. So in line with her I take my fireman cap off and bow to everyone, waving my hat in a rolling manner, to the howls and delights of everyone here. Hell, yeah! I reach out to Rosie, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. I'm the fucking King of this joint!

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Birthday to You<br>****Happy Birthday to You  
><strong>**Happy Birthday you crazy Arse  
><strong>**Happy Birthday to You**

**Okay, A… Hehehehehe... Hope you liked the lemony goodness.**


	3. Ch 37: Edward's Playlist

_**Hey Everyone... **_

_**Here is the playlist that Edward worked so diligently on while he was lost in his pit of despair. I really looked for an eclectic group of songs that I felt fit the mood that Edward was in. So we have some R&B, some Rock, and some Country. Can you imagine listening to these songs hour after hour after hour while basically staring at a wall full of pictures of the one you loved and lost? Yeah... he definately wasn't "moving on" any time soon. **_

_**The link to the playlist is on my profile page and I have also added it to the blog.**_

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><p><em><strong>For Bella<strong>_

**Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson  
><strong>Looking at you makes it harder but I know you'll find another that doesn't always make you wanna cry. Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in. Perfect couldn't keep this love alive. You know that I love you so. I love you enough to let you go.

**It will Rain by Bruno Mars  
><strong>Cause there'll be no sunlight if I lose you baby, there'll be no clear skies if I lose you baby, just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same, if you walk away everyday it will rain. Don't you say goodbye, don't you say goodbye. I'll pick up these broken pieces til I'm bleeding, if that'll make it right.

**Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban  
><strong>Alone in this house again tonight, I've got the TV on, sound turned down and a bottle of wine. There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me. The way that it was and could've been surrounds me. I'll never get over you, walking away.

**Here Without You by 3 Doors Down  
><strong>I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams and tonight, it's only you and me.

**My Immortal by Evanescence  
><strong>You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I'm bound by the life you left behind. Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. You're voice it chased away all the sanity in me. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.

**Bring It Back by Kris Allen  
><strong>Don't worry now, seasons will change. Forgive my mouth for not letting you walk away. Take your love, bring it back, bring it back. Think before you leave. I forgot what love is, bring it back. Tell me that you believe what fate's been telling me.

**Don't Leave Me by Blackstreet  
><strong>If you take your love away from I'll go crazy, I'll go insane. Forget my pride girl, I beg you. You're my heart, you're my soul, you've got so much control. My love runs deep within the ocean and sea but if you sail away you'll take a center piece of me. Don't leave, don't leave me girl.

**How do I Live by Trisha Yearwood  
><strong>Without you there'd be no sun in my sky. There would be no love in my life. There would be no world left for me. Baby I don't know what I would do. I would be lost if I lost you. If you ever leave baby you would take everything real in my life. And tell me now, how do I live without you? I want to know. How do I breathe without you?

**If You're Gone by Matchbox 20  
><strong>If you're gone maybe it's time to go home. There's an awful lot of breathing room but I can hardly move. If you're gone baby you need to come home cause there's a little bit of something of me in everything in you. I bet you're hard to get over, I bet the room just won't shine.

**Nobody Knows by the Tony Rich Project  
><strong>Why didn't I say the things I needed to say? How could I let my angel get away? Now my world is just a tumbling down. I can say it so clearly but you're nowhere around. The nights are lonely, the days are so sad and I just keep thinking about the love that we had. And I'm missing you and nobody knows it but me.

**The Man Who Can't Be Moved by the Script  
><strong>Some try to hand me money they don't understand. I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man. I know it makes no sense but what else can I do? How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

**Holdin' On by Rascal Flatts  
><strong>There's that voice mail on his cell phone he don't dare erase. She ended with I love you and he saves it just in case. It might still be true, no he ain't through. He's holding on to the wheel, to the way she made him feel. To the shifter, to the pictures, every precious moment with her.

**Un-break My Heart by Toni Braxton  
><strong>Don't leave me in all this pain; don't leave me out in the rain. Bring back the nights when I held you beside me. Un-break my heart, say you love me again. Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door and walked out of my life. Un-cry these tears, I cried so many nights, Un-break my heart, sweet darling, without you I just can't go on.

**Memory of Your Arms by Marcus Foster  
><strong>The sky is showing endless roads I have no time to roam. My restless heart is searching for the pathway to your home. Between the towers and the tracks I hold the memory of your arms upon the ice that's just about to break. There isn't much more longing I take.

**Broken by Lifehouse  
><strong>I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart that's still beating. In the pain there is healing. In your name I find meaning. So I'm holding, I'm holding on, I'm holding on, barely holding on to you.

**The Loneliness by Babyface  
><strong>I miss your face, I miss your kiss. I even miss the arguments that we would have from time to time. I miss you standing by my side. I'm dying here it's clear to see. There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me. Don't want to live, I want to die if I can't have you in my life.

**When I Close My Eyes by Kenny Chesney  
><strong>In my mind I know you're far away. But here in my heart nothing has changed. I'm still holdin' you like I used to. On a busy street, in a crowded room. Where ever I go it's just me and you. Together again, girl it never ends.

**Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne  
><strong>I miss you, miss you so bad. I don't forget you, oh it's so sad. I hope you can hear me. I remember it clearly. The day you slipped away was the day I found it won't be the same. I didn't get around to kiss you goodbye on the hand. I wish that I could see you again.

**The Scientist by Coldplay  
><strong>I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling your puzzles apart. Questions of science, science of progress do not speak as loud as my heart. Tell me you love, come back and haunt me. Oh and I rush to the start. Running in circles, chasing our tails, coming back as we are.

**Still Holding Out For You by SheDaisey  
><strong>I never thought I'd be in this place. It's someone else's life I'm living. Wish I were living a lie. The hardest part is when the bough breaks. Falling down and then forgiving. You didn't kiss me goodbye. I'm choking on the words I didn't get to say and pray I get the chance one day.

**Let Her Cry by Hootie and the Blowfish  
><strong>This morning I woke up alone, found a note lying by the phone sayin', "Baby, maybe I'll be back someday". I wanted to look for you. You walked in, I didn't know what to do so I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for myself.


	4. Outtake: Edward in Paris

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Once again thank you to my amazing Beta's A & C for being so flipping AWESOME!**

**Well in addition to this being Friday it is also a Holiday. And you know how I look for any reason to post something extra for ya. But with all kidding aside, today is a day to honor those who have served valiantly in the armed forces. I may not believe in war but I believe in our soldiers. So I'm sending a special thanks to all the men and women who have served and are currently serving in our military!**

**Now this chapter takes place during Edward's trip to Paris. This is BEFORE the Alice makeover, BEFORE the popularity, BEFORE the drama with Mike. So, I was really having an Art moment when I visualized Edward during this chapter, so think **_**How to Be**_** and call it good and if you haven't seen this little gem, think Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds…LOL… The song for this chapter just seemed to speak to me and I think fits Edward **

* * *

><p>Day after day I will walk and I will play<br>But the day after today I will stop and I will start

Why can't I get just one kiss?  
>Why can't I get just one kiss?<br>Believe me some things that I wouldn't miss  
>But I look at your pants and I need a kiss<p>

Why can't I get just one screw?  
>Why can't I get just one screw?<br>Believe me I'd know what to do  
>But something won't let me make love to you<p>

Why can't I get just one fuck?  
>Why can't I get just one fuck?<br>Guess it's got something to do with luck  
>But I've waited my whole life for just one<p>

Add To It by Violent Femmes

**Outtake: To Paris, with love**

**EPOV**

_June, Paris France_

Dad is establishing a new European office in France which is why we are all here. When he said we were going to spend the summer in Paris last year I couldn't imagine him taking the whole summer off but then he said he was opening an office in Paris and that he was overseeing the final set up, which of course made a lot more sense to me. But he is making an effort to not just work while here. Usually we are all left to our own devices during the day and then we go out as a family when he is done. So the days usually entail Alice shopping, me reading on the balcony and my mom, well at the moment she is fascinated with French movies and has been to the cinema every day. I can't imagine that they have anything new.

Dad rented the Royale Suite at the Plaza Athenee. It has four bedrooms! Why on earth he rented such a big suite is beyond me, but that's just dad. He said that the Royale Suite is the only Hotel in Paris that met his requirement of having three bedrooms. I asked why we didn't just rent an apartment or something and he had laughed, saying he wanted us to enjoy ourselves and not worry about cooking or cleaning. Renting the suite meant room service and all the luxuries my dad is accustomed to. And luxurious is definitely what this suite is. There are all kinds of antiques, a sitting room, a study, a whirlpool tub, a sauna and a dining room with a huge table. So we have already "entertained" dad's business associates a few times. The best thing about this suite though is the balcony. It is spectacular and overlooks Avenue Montaigne AND you can see the Eiffel Tower from there. So, needless to say that balcony has become my favorite spot to read.

When we checked in, my parents' obviously took one of the master bedrooms and Alice ended up taking the other master bedroom. She had really made a show of asking what room I wanted as she eyed the second master bedroom. Like there was even a choice. I don't need much space so I took one of the "regular" bedrooms. I just don't understand Alice sometimes. Her suite has shoes everywhere, and more clothes than she can possibly wear. And since we have been here all she has done is shop so there are clothes on top of clothes. She is going to need to buy a few more suitcases by the end of summer. It's a good thing we have money or Alice would be crying right about now. We have only been here a month and she has already started storing her things in the extra bedroom. The girl has serious fashion issues.

My bedroom overlooks the courtyard which is nice and it is well equipped. In another hotel this might actually be considered a master bedroom. I don't have much in here though. Just my clothes, my laptop and a pile of books on the desk that I plan to read over the summer. Alice couldn't figure out why I would want to read when we were in Paris. What's wrong with reading? I have gone out every time the family has but I haven't really wandered around on my own. I am not trying to be difficult, I am just happy sitting on the balcony, overlooking the city and getting lost in one of my novels. I don't need the hustle and bustle that Alice needs.

Alice has already taken off on one of her shopping extravaganzas. I swear Paris will probably mourn the day we leave the city. Mom is getting ready to leave for some movie she is just dying to see and I am sitting on our balcony reading Great Expectations. I think I really need to major in English or something because the only thing I like to do is read.

"Edward." I hear my mom call out from the living room.

"Oui, maman?" I say walking in from the balcony, book in hand.

My mom looks at me and smiles. "Je peux comprendre pourquoi vous ne voulais pas faire du shopping avec votre sœur mais Papa aura disparu finaliser son affaire et je prévois d'être au cinéma. Vous êtes certain que vous ne voulez pas venir avec moi?"

Oh man, here we go again. She wants me to get out of the room. Well, dad is in a meeting all day, Alice is going shopping yet again and mom wants to spend the day at the cinema. Not that I would have minded going with her but, geez, I'm a 15 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend, who everyone has now dubbed as _Alice's dorky bookworm brother_. Somehow, spending the day at the cinema with my mom doesn't seem like it would help my cause at all.

"Aucun maman, je suis bon, j'allais vient de passer à la lecture de la journée. Je suis presque terminé avec ce livre." I raise Great Expectations slightly telling her I was just planning on reading.

She sighs, "Miel Edward. Nous sommes dans le beau Paris. Vous devriez sortir et regarder autour."

She hesitates for a moment before looking at me with a smile, "Je ne suis pas vous demande, je vous dis. Aller faire une promenade. C'est une belle journée. On ne sait jamais, c'est la ville de l'amour, vous pouvez simplement exécuter dans une belle jeune femme qui va vous balayez au large de vos pieds."

I can't stop the blush that creeps up my neck, making its slow assent up my cheeks and settling in my ears. I can't believe she told me to "hook" up with someone. Well, maybe she didn't exactly say that but she practically did. I think she is more concerned about my virginity than I am. What does she want from me? Girls have never really found me interesting? Plus I am a fairly boring person. She walks up to me and places her hand on my cheek.

"Mon doux et beau garçon. Vous n'avez pas idée combien charmante et beau vous sont faire vous?" she says sweetly.

I feel myself redden even more. She must be kidding.

"Veuillez aller regarder autour. Selon moi, qu'il y a certaines librairies quelques pâtés de maisons plus. Aller chercher quelques livres plus ensuite"

I nod my agreement to go for a walk while she is gone and watch as she walks out the door. I look around the room and plop down on the soft couch, my book in my lap. I close my eyes trying to decide why I don't want to go anywhere. I am in Paris after all. My French is pretty good thanks to Dad making us speak it non-stop. My mom had mentioned Paris being the _City of Love_. I wonder if that's true. I want to meet someone, fall in love, and get married and all that stuff. Maybe I read too much and am overly romantic but I believe in love at first sight and I know without a doubt that when I meet her there will be no turning back. Somehow I don't think I am going to meet _her_ in Paris but I suppose it could happen.

I set my book down and head into the bathroom looking at myself. I am wearing some loose fitting tan cargo pants with a red and white stripped baggy polo shirt. My hair is sort of parted in the middle and way too long so it is falling down the side of my face. I think I hate the summer the most because it makes my hair look even redder than normal. My skin is okay. I am lucky because I never did the whole break out in zits thing. Thank God! I stare at my averageness, recognizing that my only notable quality is my green eyes. I sigh as I run my hands through my hair and then cringe at the craziness that ensues. I quickly try to pat it back down again. God, I'll never get laid at this rate. I sigh as I head out of the bathroom and grab my room key and snatch up the money my mom dropped on the table before she left. I haven't read any French novels lately. Maybe I could pick up a couple of French books to read. That would be worth getting out for.

~*TMH*~

I start walking down the streets of Paris. It is bustling with activity. The people in Paris seem so mellow and calm. No wonder they don't like Americans, we can be so crude and loud. I guess that can be annoying. As I buy an apple from a local vendor I ask if there is a book store nearby. He goes into a lengthy explanation about where the store is and then compliments me on my French. Of course he added _for an American_ at the end but he said it with a smile.

As I walk towards the bookstore a beautiful woman stops me dead in my tracks. She is not far in front of me and she has just halted abruptly. She flips her hair back and begins moving her leg up slightly, removing her shoe and rubbing the sole of her foot and then up and down her bare calf. I have stopped mid-bite and can feel juice dripping from my mouth as I watch her in awe. She has dark hair flowing to her shoulders and the sexiest legs imaginable. I feel myself start to harden as I watch her and look around quickly to see if anyone can see me ogling this woman who is clearly older than me.

When I turn to see her again she is smiling at me. I realize I still have the apple in my mouth and bring it down quickly, using my arm to wipe the dripping juice from my mouth. She brings her hand to her hair and moves her hair slightly to the side as she motions for me to come to her. Oh Shit! I start walking slowly over, hoping to God that she can't see my hard on. When I get to her she runs her fingers along my lips, wiping some apple from my mouth.

"J'ai remarqué que vous me regardez. Vous avez aimé ce que vous avez vu?"

I swallow hard when she tells me she saw me looking at her. She is very beautiful. She has light green eyes with nice full lips. She has slim hips and gorgeous long legs which have been accented by the highest heels I have ever seen.

"Desole. Je ne veux stare." I say to her softly.

"Pas présenter des excuses pour admirer quelque chose que vous aimez. Vous êtes américain?"

"Oui"

I apologize for staring and then find myself gaping when she tells me it is okay. She asks if I am American which is kind of a weird question but I suppose I don't look French. She runs her hands along my jaw and over my lips again and I feel myself twitch in my pants. Now I am really nervous because I can feel myself hardening right in front of her. I am sure it must be obvious.

"Je tiens à ce que je pouvais rester." She says wistfully and then turns to walk away.

I am left standing there with my apple in my hand and a twitching cock that is begging for release. I casually try to readjust myself and then take a deep breath as I continue walking towards the book store. There are lots of interesting shops but right now I just want to find the bookstore and then go back to the hotel and think about the beautiful woman I just met. I find the store fairly easily and browse through their wide selection. I find myself looking at their large collection of Alexandre Dumas novels, seeing some I have never even heard of. I have read The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers but nothing else. I pick up The Lady of the Camellias and start reading the back of it when I hear someone behind me.

"Monsieur, puis-je aider vous trouvez quelque chose?"

I turn to the saleslady who has just asked me if she could help me. She is young, maybe in her early twenties. She offers me a wide smile, showing her prefect teeth. She is wearing a tight fitting shirt which shows off her ample breasts and I notice that her nipples are now erect. I take a deep breath as my cock starts twitching again. God! I obviously need to get laid sooner rather than later.

"J'ai lu pas de nombreux romans français. Que recommanderiez-vous?" I ask politely.

She smiles and starts asking me questions about what I am interested in, all the while she is gently brushing her fingers into her thick hair and moving closer to me, casually touching my shoulder to reach for a book behind me. We start walking around the bookstore and she selects a few books and then gets a wicked grin on her face when as she picks up another book, handing it to me. Bel Ami: The History of a Scoundrel by Guy de Maupassant. I look up at her and she winks.

"Ce livre est très sexy. Vous aimerez elle."

I give her a smile and look down embarrassed. She said the book was sexy. Does that mean it is pornographic? It is an older book so it can't be that graphic. But I am embarrassed none the less. Then that makes me remember my mom slipping in a couple of erotic novels in my stack of books. God, how embarrassing but with that thought my boner starts to deflate some. Well, until the saleslady moves really close to me whispering in my ear as her erect nipple grazes my arm.

"Vous êtes très sexy ainsi."

I stare at her as she smiles and walks behind the counter to ring up my sale. God I need to get back to the hotel. I hope no one is back yet because I think I need to relieve myself before we all go out tonight. I purchase my books and head out of the store. I am sure everyone can see my hard on and I need to get inside fast.

I get back to the hotel quicker than I thought possible and make no eye contact with anyone. I toss my new books on the sofa and walk into the bathroom. I set my hands on the counter staring at myself in the mirror. I have never masturbated outside of my own bedroom in Seattle and am debating whether I even should. But I am sporting some serious wood right now. I swallow hard and quickly undo my pants.

I sit down on the toilet seat, leaning back as I pull my cock out slowly. It is throbbing and I let out a moan as I squeeze my length, moving my hand up and down slowly. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths in and out as I picture the beautiful woman with the long legs, only I picture her with deep chocolate brown eyes. She smiles at me as I imagine her taking my cock in her hands. I continue to move my hand up and down my ever hardening cock as I picture her hand stroking me as she looks at me with lustful eyes.

"Oh Edward, j'adore votre robinet."

Yes, I have been speaking French for so damn long that even when I masturbate I imagine them speaking French to me. She gets down on her knees in front of me and puts my cock in her mouth. I arch my hips up, moving my hand even faster and faster over my cock as I imagine that I am pushing into her mouth over and over again. I feel that familiar ache in my belly and know that I am close. I picture her sweeping her tongue across my head and into my slit and at the same time I move my thumb across my tip several times. I moan out loudly as I increase my pace and then feel myself explode all over my stomach just as the door to the bathroom opens up.

"Oh Dieu!" I hear my mother gasp.

Shit! I sit up quickly, losing my balance and slide off the toilet to the ground. My mother runs over to me to help me up and I practically scream in terror for her to leave. Holy Shit! Why is she even home, let alone just barging through a closed bathroom door? And now she wants to help me up when my dick is out and I have cum all over my stomach. Oh my God. This can't get any worse.

"Edward c'est rien à en avoir honte." She states calmly.

She can't seriously be telling me not to be embarrassed. So I holler at her to get out again and she thankfully listens this time, walking out the door quickly, closing the door behind her. I grab one of the washcloths from the rack and quickly clean myself up. I take a deep breath and exit the bathroom heading directly to the bedroom to change and wallow in the embarrassment of being caught jacking off. Now, most moms would respond with abject horror at catching their son masturbating and never want to mention it ever again. Nope, that won't be my mom. No, she will want to "talk" about it, want to know how I am feeling and reassure me that I am normal. And as if on cue I hear my mom at the door.

"Edward, veuillez sortir. Il n'y a rien de mal à la masturbation. Il est parfaitement naturel. Vous savez que vous pouvez parler à moi à ce sujet."

Oh God! There is no way I am talking about masturbation with her. She must be insane. I think I might stay in here for the remainder of the summer. I have plenty of books to read and then if I masturbate no one will disturb me. I grin at myself and then bring my arm across my eyes, hoping that she doesn't tell my father what happened but knowing she will and that I will end up getting another "sex talk" from him. God this is going to be a long summer.

* * *

><p><strong>AN… I know last chapter was a bit rough for our boy so I thought I would throw some fun stuff out there for ya. Poor thing, he just doesn't recognize his sexiness but he soon will. And talk about pure embarrassing… YIKES!**

**Also, special shout out to What'supwhimsy… The Dumas reference is for you.**

**Also, I have posted some pictures on the blog of the hotel. Now, when I picked this hotel I had no idea that Rob had actually stayed in this exact suite when he was promoting Water for Elephants in Paris. Is that cool or what!**

**Okay, below is the translation of all the French dialogue. You all know I have a thing for French and Rob together :-) Now, I know there are a few of you who speak French so sorry if it isn't 100% accurate. English to French doesn't translate exactly the same so what is in parenthesis is what I had written out to be translated. It translates mostly okay but we Americans speak funny…LOL…So once again sorry to all my French speaking peeps out there, mean no disrespect, because I absolutely LOVE your language. It is true that everything sounds better in French! **

"Edward"

"Oui, maman?" (Yes, mom)

"Je peux comprendre pourquoi vous ne voulais pas faire du shopping avec votre sœur mais Papa aura disparu finaliser son affaire et je prévois d'être au cinéma. Vous êtes certain que vous ne voulez pas venir avec moi?" (I can understand why you didn't want to go shopping with your sister but dad will be gone finalizing his business deal and I plan to be at the cinema. Are you sure you don't want to come with me?)

"Aucun maman, je suis bon, j'allais vient de passer à la lecture de la journée. Je suis presque terminé avec ce livre." (No mom I'm good, I was just going to spend the day reading. I'm almost done with this book.)"

"Miel Edward. Nous sommes dans le beau Paris. Vous devriez sortir et regarder autour." (Edward honey. We are in beautiful Paris. You should get out and look around.)

"Je ne suis pas vous demande, je vous dis. Aller faire une promenade. C'est une belle journée. On ne sait jamais, c'est la ville de l'amour, vous pouvez simplement exécuter dans une belle jeune femme qui va vous balayez au large de vos pieds." (I am not asking you, I am telling you. Go for a walk. It's a beautiful day. You never know, this is the city of love, you might just run into a beautiful young woman who will sweep you off your feet.)

"Mon doux et beau garçon. Vous n'avez pas idée combien charmante et beau vous sont faire vous?" (My sweet and beautiful boy. You have no idea how charming and handsome you are do you?)

"Veuillez aller regarder autour. Selon moi, qu'il y a certaines librairies quelques pâtés de maisons plus. Aller chercher quelques livres plus ensuite" (Please go look around. I think there are some bookstores a few blocks over. Go get some more books then.)

~*TMH*~

"J'ai remarqué que vous me regardez. Vous avez aimé ce que vous avez vu?" (I noticed you watching me. Did you like what you saw?)

"Desole. Je ne veux stare" (I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare.)

"Pas présenter des excuses pour admirer quelque chose que vous aimez. Vous êtes américain?" (Do not apologize for admiring something you like. You are American?)

"Oui" (Yes)

"Je tiens à ce que je pouvais rester." (I wish I could stay.)

~*TMH*~

"Monsieur, puis-je aider vous trouvez quelque chose?" (Sir, Can I help you find anything?)

"J'ai lu pas de nombreux romans français. Que recommanderiez-vous?" (I have not read many French novels. What would you recommend?)

"Ce livre est très sexy. Vous aimerez elle." (This book is very sexy. You will like it.)

"Vous êtes très sexy ainsi." (You are so sexy.)

~*TMH*~

"Oh Edward, j'adore votre robinet" (Oh Edward, I love your cock)

"Oh Dieu!" (Oh God!)

"Edward c'est rien à en avoir honte" (Edward it's nothing to be ashamed of.)

"Edward, veuillez sortir. Il n'y a rien de mal à la masturbation. Il est parfaitement naturel. Vous savez que vous pouvez parler à moi à ce sujet" (Edward, please come out. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is perfectly natural. You know you can talk to me about it.)


	5. Outtake: Carlisle

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Once again thank you to my amazing Beta's A & C for your guidance, encouragement & support. WooHoo! Today is the day girls! **

**Happy Breaking Headboards Day!**

**In honor of the release of Breaking Dawn, part one; I have decided to give you a little extra something. I have had a lot of people ask me for Carlisle's perspective on various things. Wondering what he is thinking when he says and does stuff. I really thought about it and decided that I would give you a snippet. The song I picked for this outtake is a great song by Phil Collins that he wrote when his son was born. **

**Now this takes place during Chapter 37 but will include some stuff from other chapters as well. I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

><p>Somewhere down the road, you're gonna find a place<br>It seems so far, but it never is  
>You won't need to stay, but you might lose your strength on the way<p>

Sometimes you may feel you're the only one  
>Cause all the things you thought were safe, now they're gone<br>But you won't be alone, cause I'll be here to carry you along  
>Watching you 'til all the work is done<p>

When you find your heart, you'd better run with it  
>Cause when she comes along, she could be breaking it<br>No there's nothing wrong, you're learning to be strong  
>Don't look back, she may soon be gone, so don't look back<br>She's not the only one, remember that

If your heart is beating fast, then you know she's right  
>If you don't know what to say, well, that's alright<br>You don't know what to do?  
>Remember she is just as scared as you<p>

Don't be shy, even when it hurts to say  
>Remember, you're gonna get hurt, someday, anyway<br>Then you must lift your head, keep it there  
>Remember what I said, I'll always be with you, don't forget<br>Just look over your shoulder I'll be there  
>If you look behind you, I will be there<p>

Father to Son by Phil Collins

**Outtake: A Father's Love**

**Daddy C's POV**

"Dad I was wondering if you could do me a favor." Edward says as he clears his throat.

"Anything, son. What is it?"

"Can you ask one of your investigators to find Bella?" he asks me with sad lost eyes.

"You want to find Bella?" I can't stop the sharp intake of breath I take.

Oh God! He wants me to help him find her. How is that going to help him? He looks horrible already and I can tell he isn't eating because he has lost at least 20 pounds since Bella left three months ago.

"Yes, I just need to make sure she is okay." He says, averting his eyes and looking down.

"What will that accomplish son? What will you do with the information? Go searching for her?"

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. I watch as his body tenses up, no doubt contemplating what I am asking. Where did my son go? How did it get like this? I think for a few moments about what it was like when Bella left.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Carlisle!" Esme shouts into the phone, I can tell she has been crying but I have Mr. Saunders, Mike, and Mr. Marshall in my office right now. This isn't the time or place._

"_What's going on?" I ask curtly._

"_She left!" she says softly through tears._

"_Who left? Wait, Bella left?" I say stunned. _

_And immediately I think of my conversation with her yesterday. She had said "I'll take care of it." Oh, God! I didn't want her to leave. I look up at the three men sitting in front of me. Mr. Saunders and Mr. Marshall have neutral expressions on their faces and then I notice a slight smirk on Mike's face before he realizes I am now looking at him. I stare at him and he looks down contritely, obviously realizing he is on thin ice with me._

"_Can you excuse me for a moment?" I say to the three men._

_They all nod and get up. When they have exited I turn back to the phone._

"_What happened Es? Tell me everything?"_

_She proceeds to tell me about her conversation with Bella, Bella leaving her with the letter and then she hesitates._

"_What Es? What else?" _

"_She said to tell you that she loved him enough to leave."_

_I close my eyes and drop the phone. This is my fault. Oh God! What did I do? Es told me not to go over there. She said she probably wouldn't respond well. That she was not in a healthy frame of mind but I did it anyway. I shake my head and grab the phone again, picking up the last part of what she is saying._

"_I am going to the house to change clothes. He isn't going to take this well and I don't want to be in this suit when he gets home. Will you meet me at his place?" she asks softly._

"_Of course, of course. I need to finish up this meeting and then I will be over there." I pause for a moment, "I'm sorry Es. This is my fault." I choke out._

"_No it isn't. I said things to her as well that she misunderstood. Let's just help Edward through this. This is going to be worse than Kate. We need to be prepared for that." She says calmly._

_We talk for a few minutes more and then hang up. I bring the men back into my office to finish up our meeting so that I can leave. I need to be there for him. _

_When I pull up to Edward's place I see everyone's cars already there. And notice Alice pulling up just as I am getting out of my car._

"_Dad, is it true Bella left?" she asks concerned._

_I nod and put my arm around her. I am glad she is here. When they were little Alice was the only one who could ever comfort him when he was upset. _

_As much as Es said this was going to be worse nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I opened the door. I can't help but gasp as I stand there staring at a train wreck and wondering what the hell happened. Edward is being pulled away from the glass wall they have and his hand is all bloody and smashed. It doesn't even look like a hand anymore and I know instantly that he has broken several bones. He is looking at everyone with blank eyes, there is nothing there. Emmett is cursing, Jasper is trying to calm everyone down but has a look of horror on his face, Es is screaming and then Emmett is handing her a towel that she uses to wrap Edward's hand. Jasper looks over at me and I hear Alice scream when she sees Edward and then immediately starts crying. I am standing there motionless. Everyone I love is in pain and for the first time in my life I don't know what to do. Jasper walks over to Alice and then says Edward needs to go to the hospital but when he mentions Northwest I watch in terror as Edward drops to the floor sobbing uncontrollably and the most blood curdling scream escapes his mouth._

_I kneel down next to him to help him and he stares at me like a lost little boy wanting me to fix this. My stomach begins churning and flipping because I don't know how to fix it. How do I tell my son that this is my fault? How do I tell him that daddy can't make this better?_

**END FLASHBACK**

I stare at Edward for a long time. In spite of what Es has said many times I know this is my fault. I shouldn't have talked to her. And now as I look at him I don't know how I can deny him anything but I need to clarify his intentions.

"What if you find out she is not doing well? Are you saying you wouldn't do anything about that?" I say, crossing my arms over my chest and watching as he opens his eyes and looks at me with such desperation that I know I will do it no matter what his answer is.

"I need to know. I…" he looks down again and I can tell that he is trying to fight back tears. "I miss her." He whispers.

I take a long breath and sit down next to him, placing my arm around his shoulder and pulling him to me. He is crying softly and I know that he is lost in his memories again. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I wish Es was here. But if I do a search he might not find out what he wants to hear. I start talking before I realize the words that are coming out of my mouth.

"I understand that son I just… I just don't want you hurt worse than you are now. I mean what if she has moved on, what if she is with someone else, what if…"

He moves away from me quickly. "That is _not_ going to happen." he says forcefully. "Bella loves me."

Shit! I shouldn't have said that. I let out another sigh and just give in. "If you really want me to do a search I will but I am going to confer with your mom before I discuss what I find out."

He stares at me frowning.

"That's the only way I'll do it. I trust your mom and will do what she says. Every time I do something against her recommendation something bad happens. I have learned my lesson." I am watching him closely, "Is that acceptable?"

He doesn't say anything right away and I am torn. He has the means to hire someone himself but if he does that who knows what will come up. Maybe I should have just said yes, up front without any stipulations. When he nods I am relieved and know I need to change the subject quickly.

"How's school going?" I ask.

"It's fine. Classes are going fine. I will graduate with honors." He says agitated as he gets up and starts walking towards the door. "Thanks dad. I'll see you later."

"When?" I say forcefully which causes him to stop. "You say _I'll see you later_ but you don't come to the house, you see Alice every few weeks but she says you aren't talking to her, you two just listen to that damn "playlist" of yours. The boys say you don't come over anymore. So when, when exactly do you plan on seeing anyone? You look awful son. Are you even eating?" I pause trying to reign in my worry masked as anger, "This needs to stop Edward, you need to move on." I finally say.

He doesn't turn around. I start to walk to him but he opens the door and walks out before I get to him. I let out a sigh and walk back to my desk, picking up the phone to call Jenks our best private investigator. I hit line one without realizing that someone was already on that line and pick up what sounds like the end of a conversation.

"_No he just left." Mike says nervously._

"_Wait, are you calling from your work number?" He states angrily._

"_Yes. Why?" Mike asks confused._

"_Stupid! Call me on your cell." He says furiously and hangs up._

What the hell was that about? Was he talking to someone about Edward? I need to put a trace on his calls and activities immediately. I can't help but wonder about what happened with Isabella. I know he couldn't have tampered with the tapes. No one in the company has security clearance but me and Marcus. And Marcus doesn't trust anyone. But, I really can't believe Isabella would lie about that. What would be her motivation? Edward already knew about her sexual history. I sigh as I dial Jenks number.

~*TMH*~

_Two weeks later_

I am just looking over my messages and see that Jenks is coming in today which means he has the results of his search. I lean back in my chair and wish there was something I could do. There is no one I can threaten that will make this better for Edward which makes me remember what happened at the hospital before Bella left.

**FLASHBACK**

_When Es and I came into the waiting room, Edward was already a mess. His color was completely drained and he was practically hyperventilating. We didn't see a lot of him but the boys filled us in on what had happened. Rosalie had come by the waiting room a little while ago and told us they were going to run more tests on Bella and that we should try to get Edward to eat something. I had suggested maybe the boys getting him because I didn't think he would just come with Es and I. I know he is still upset with me but he did smile when I said I loved him so I hope that is a step in the right direction._

_I am watching the entrance praying that the boys can get Edward down here and when the three of them walk in I let out a sigh of relief. He looks so lost and confused. I know he is struggling with Bella being in here. And knowing my son he feels responsible for it. I take a bite of my food and look up when I hear a chair scrapping. What the hell! I am up immediately when I see Emmett and Jasper move in between Edward and some tall guy. I miss what Emmett and Jasper say but I hear clearly what this asshole is saying to my son._

_"So, you can't fight your own battles huh? Well, I told you before, you couldn't save her. Now, look where she is?" he says over Emmett's huge frame._

_I can see Emmett's body tense and I know that means there will be a fight soon so I step in front of him and motion for Emmett to back off. I move real close to this guy, invading his body space because it is a very intimidating move and as expected he steps back slightly. I look down and see that he is a doctor. What kind of doctor talks to someone the way he just talked to my son? Then I remember Edward saying Bella dated a doctor at the hospital. My guess is this asshole is the doctor in question._

_"Dr. Black is it?" I say calmly, looking him square in the eyes._

_He is still trying to get to Edward so I lean in real close, talking just loud enough for us to hear. _

_"If you EVER talk to my son like that again I will ruin you. I will not just take your medical license but I will make sure you can't get a job anywhere." I say forcefully to him and when he looks at me I emphasize slowly my next four words, "I… will… destroy… you." _

_He cringes back from me, he looks like he wants to say something but doesn't. _

_"Do we understand each other?" I say, stepping back slightly straightening out my tie casually. _

_I want to make sure that he knows he is absolutely nothing to me. That it is he who should cower to me, not the other way around. He continues to stare at me, speechless. Hmm, looks like I need to take this a little further. He doesn't seem as frightened as he should be. _

_"Boys, go sit down." I say to the three of them, never taking my eyes off of Dr. Black._

_Once they have walked away Dr. Black starts to say something. I take a step closer to him, grabbing him by the top of his scrub shirt, pulling him closer to me, his mouth closes immediately. I can tell that he isn't expecting this. He has no idea the things that I have done and the lengths that I am willing to go to protect my family. He stares into my cold eyes and I believe he is starting to sense the danger he is in._

"_My son is very kind and good natured. It isn't in him to be cruel. He takes after his mother in that way. I on the other hand have no problem being cruel. Now, listen to me BOY! Do you have any idea how many men I have broken? How many lives I have destroyed?" I say with complete venom seeping out of every pore of my body._

_I can feel and see the fear in his body language. Now we are getting somewhere._

"_If you ever talk to my son again and I mean for anything. You don't even say hello to him. If you do I will make sure with my last breath that you are beaten to within an inch of your life, that you are left penniless with no family or friends and that you are disgraced among your peers. I have the resources and the inclination to destroy everything in your life without losing a single minute of sleep. You will have and be nothing by the time I am done with you." I pull him up slightly so that we are eye to eye. "There will be no place that you could go that I couldn't find you; there will be no hiding from my wrath."_

_I let go of his collar and he slouches away from me._

"_Look at me Dr. Black!" I say forcefully. _

_He stares at me utterly terrified, fear reeking through him, and I know that he will not cross me._

"_Do you have any doubt that I will do these things?" I ask casually._

_He shakes his head._

"_Very good, Then our business here is concluded." I say and turn, walking towards my family._

**END FLASHBACK**

My intercom goes off bringing me out of my memory. It is Jessica saying that Jenks is here to see me. I take a deep breath and walk into the hall to meet him. Jenks has been working for me for going on 20 years. He is the most reliable and accurate investigator I have. He's also the most resourceful. He is well worth every penny I pay him.

He nods at me as I shake his hand and as I glance to the side I notice Mike watching us. He is definitely up to something. There was nothing unusual on his call logs and he hasn't been meeting anyone so whatever he is doing he is covering his tracks well.

Jenks walks in and sits on my couch as I lean against my desk. I watch as he starts pulling out several documents and pictures.

"So what did you find out?"

He picks up what looks like a hospital record. Hey I recognize that insignia. That's Cook County. That's in Chicago. Then he pulls out what looks like a court document. Oh God! Now what did she do?

He hands me a couple of photos taken in the hospital. I already feel I tightness in my stomach as I imagine Edwards's anguished face when he sees these.

"She was hospitalized at Cook County on November 25th for acute alcohol poisoning, starvation, and suicide attempt. According to hospital and police records she checked into the Days Inn on November 18th and was found on November 25th. From the level of alcohol in her system and the bottles found at her hotel, they suspect she was drinking for approximately a week. They indicate there was no food in her system and they believe she was trying to kill herself."

He flips through the pile and hands me a sheet of hotel stationary that just has two lines on it. I sigh as I read what she wrote with a very heavy hand.

"They issued the involuntary commitment order the following Monday but she wasn't moved until the end of the week due to her medical condition. A transfer order was made to Jacksonville, Florida where she is currently a patient at a locked inpatient mental facility."

He hands me the court documents which I flip through impatiently. He starts handing me several pictures of Bella. She looks worse than Edward and it makes me appreciate that he has fared better than I initially thought. God what a clusterfuck this whole thing is. I can't show these pictures to Edward. He will run after her immediately.

"Now getting information from the inpatient facility was a little more difficult but I was obviously able to get some pictures of her as you can see." He says motioning to the pictures in my hand, "I was also able to sway a staff person who was clearly in a lot of debt to break confidentiality and provide me with additional information. Apparently she had what they called…"

He pauses for a moment as he flips through his notebook to find the actual diagnosis.

"She had what they call Selective Mutism for the first 8 weeks she was there. According to my source she refused to communicate with anyone or participate in the therapeutic process. They have diagnosed her with Alcohol Dependence, Major Depressive Disorder, and PTSD. Apparently she has been sedated and restrained a few times since she has been in there. The first time was a few weeks ago when another patient took a picture away from her."

He starts flipping through his notes again. I remember Esme saying she took one of Edward's pictures. Could it be that?

"Yes, it was apparently a picture of her boyfriend. She beat the girl pretty badly before they were able to pull her off. She had to be sedated and then restrained a second time after her mother brought some kind of bracelet to her. She was…" He scans his notes again. "She was catatonic for a week but my source says she is responding to treatment. That's the last information that I have. Do you want me to continue to monitor her?"

I close my eyes, trying to absorb all the information he has just told me. I can't tell Edward all of this. He is already hanging by a thread and if he realizes that she is hurting he will drop everything and go to her. Maybe I can just pretend that I didn't get anything because I can't be responsible for him hurting himself again and I can't look into those sad and desperate eyes of his and tell him that the woman he loves is in serious pain right now. I take a deep breath and open my eyes.

"No, not right now. I will let you know in a few weeks if I want you to continue. I do have another case for you though." I hesitate for a moment, "He is an employee so this needs to be handled very discreetly."

He nods.

I proceed to give him Mike's information and when he leaves I sit down on my couch looking at all the information Jenks collected. I need to talk to Es about this and I need to do whatever it is she suggests, even if it goes against my better judgment. God! I don't want him to know any of this and I feel my heart break thinking about the pain this information will cause him. I walk back to my desk and pick up the phone, calling my wife. We need to figure out how to handle this.

* * *

><p><strong>AN…. Ahhhhh, Carlisle is a sly devil isn't he. I told you all he didn't trust Mike 100%. Now, generally speaking the information Jenks collected is highly confidential BUT it's not like there aren't ways to circumvent confidentiality. Jenks has been with Carlisle a long time and I am sure he has his ways *wink, wink* **

**Poor Carlisle though, I can't imagine carrying all that information on top of the guilt he already feels. No wonder he responded like he did when Edward said he didn't want to look at what was in there. Anyway… hope you enjoyed getting to know Daddy C… Catch ya next week with TMH!**


	6. Outtake: Bella's Guide

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Merry Christmas everyone! **

**Okie dokie… well, once again thank you to my amazing Beta's A & C for your guidance, encouragement & support. Thanks for helping me come up with all the points in Bella's guide and for not teasing me too much about my OCD in the process… LMAO! I have added some pics to the blog and the song for this outtake which I thought fit Bella's overall attitude about men and life in general. **

**Well, many people have asked me about this guide of Bella's so I thought I would hook you all up. This takes place when Bella is at Florida State and just starting to explore her sexuality. She still has many of the characteristics we have all grown to love or hate (still a sex fiend and loves to curse!)... LOL... so enjoy!**

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><p>Question: Tell me what you think about me<br>I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings  
>Only ring your cell-y when I'm feelin lonely<br>When it's all over please get up and leave

Question: Tell me how you feel about this  
>Try to control boy you get dismissed<br>Pay my own fun; oh I pay my own bills  
>Always 5050 in relationships

The shoes on my feet... I bought it  
>The clothes I'm wearing... I bought it<br>The rock I'm rockin'... I bought it  
>Cause I depend on me<p>

If I wanted, the watch you're wearin'... I'll buy it  
>The house I live in... I bought it<br>The car I'm driving... I bought it  
>I depend on me<p>

All the women who are independent  
>Throw your hands up at me<br>All the honeys who makin' money  
>Throw your hands up at me<br>All the mommas who profit dollas  
>Throw your hands up at me<br>All the ladies who truly feel me  
>Throw your hands up at me<p>

Independent Women, Part 1 by Destiny's Child

**Outtake: Formulating a Guide**

**BPOV **

_Florida State, Fall Semester _

Well, one thing I have learned in my short and rather eventful life is that I cannot rely on others to satisfy my needs, be it personal, emotional or sexual. And I think that now is as good a time as any to start taking things into my own hands both literally and figuratively. I know it probably isn't normal, my insatiable appetite for sex, but shit, if I was a guy no one would think anything about it. I don't care though. I do what I got to do for me. I am not going to see any of these people after I move to Los Angeles next year anyway so who the fuck cares. I might as well have some fun while I am here.

As I look over at the loser lying next to me I realize I made several mistakes last night. One being I brought this asshole home with me and two I expected him to get me off. I need some kind of damn guide or something, something that I will remember even when I am drunk so I don't make stupid ass mistakes like this again. God! I really need him to leave. I got shit to do, starting with an exam I need to study for.

He rolls over grabbing my tit and trying to pull me to him. Yeah, that's not happening asshole. I grab his hand and drop it on his chest which causes him to open his eyes. I frown as I look at him.

"Hey, you need to head out! I have an exam I need to study for." I say bluntly.

"I can't stay?" Josh asks confused.

"What gave you the impression I wanted you to stay?" I cock my eyebrow at him.

He stares at me, giving me a dirty look, like I just insulted his manhood. Well, seriously. Could he not tell that I didn't get off? No second chances baby. Hey that should be on my list. I smile at my wittiness and then realize he probably thinks I am smiling at him. I frown and roll my eyes. Damn it! If I hadn't been so damn drunk when we got here I would have kicked his ass out last night and avoided all this unnecessary morning after bullshit.

"Damn, Bella. They said you were a bitch but I didn't really believe them." He finally says as he sits up, throwing his feet off the side of the bed.

I laugh; yes I have quite the reputation around here. "Well Josh, I guess sometimes rumors are actually correct. But seriously, you really need to go so I can get my day going."

He turns and scowls at me as he gets up, grabbing his jeans and throwing his t-shirt on. I head to the bathroom, not walking him to the door. If he was expecting some sort of goodbye kiss he is sorely mistaken. When I come out of the bathroom, thankfully I am alone again. I head to my computer and power up my laptop. I really should study for that exam but I have something a little more pressing to do. I pull up word and type in the following heading.

_**Bella Swan's Guide for Single Girls Seeking Sexual Gratification**_

I grin and sit back in my chair, bringing my pencil into my mouth. Okay, what are the most important things that should be on this list? Well for starters, I have learned over the years that I need to wear clothes that are easily accessible. Okay that will be number one.

_**Wear clothes you can get on and off quickly**_

There really is nothing worse than wanting to have a quickie and wearing tight jeans. First the idea of a quickie is that it is QUICK! If I have to take my shoes off and then wiggle out of something tight, that is not quick. Plus, if I have to get dressed fast it is nearly impossible. Although I have managed that feat before and quite well I might add. I think I need to stick to skirts that I can hike up and then reposition myself afterwards like nothing happened. I smile, yes that should definitely be number one on my list.

Okay, number two. Well that one is sort of easy I think. I already do this but I will list it anyways.

_**Always carry condoms**_

Men are notorious for not being prepared to have sex and most girls are just stupid. They think it will make them look bad if they have condoms on them but I say the opposite. It is better to have something and not need it then to need something and not have it. Because there is absolutely no way in hell I am fucking someone without a condom. I am going to be a damn doctor for crying out loud. I know what kind of diseases are out there.

I twirl the pencil around my mouth and bite on the eraser. Hmm. Now what? I grin as I type the next thing on my list.

_**No walk of shame**_

Fuck the morning after walk of shame. That shit is a fucked up myth that women have been forced to live with for ages. Fuck it! If I am going to fuck someone it will be my damn choice and if it is my damn choice why should I be ashamed of it? The only thing that pisses me off is when I realize he wasn't quite worth the effort, but shit, it was still my choice to fuck him so yeah. I can't stand to hear girls whine around about fucking some guy they shouldn't have. Whatever! Just own your shit and move the fuck on. No walk of shame. Hell yeah, banish that shit! So that is going to be third on my list.

What else should be on my list? I take a deep breath. Okay, a lesson learned from last night is going to be number four.

_**Never bring them home**_

Like this asshole that just left, a one night stand is just that, a ONE NIGHT stand. No day after bullshit. I'm not looking for a boyfriend or even a friend with benefits. Once a man comes to your house they start to think you like them or something stupid like that. Just because I want to get off doesn't mean I want to have a relationship. What, all girls are supposed to want that? Hell no to that! So, never bringing a man home with me is definitely fourth on my list.

Hmm, now in line with number four I should have something else. Ah, I smile again as I type number five.

_**Always know your way home**_

If I'm not bringing them home then I am most likely going to go to their place so I better fucking hell know how to get my ass home. So I should ask where they live beforehand and if I don't know the area I will suggest a neutral place. Hey this list is really starting to take shape. This is some good ass advice here. I don't want to be caught in the middle of nowhere where I could actually be gang raped or murdered or some equally shitty thing. Plus, I need to know where they live so I can avoid the area in case they really are a sorry lay. Been there done that and have no desire to do it again.

Okay, where am I now? Okay, another mistake I made last night is going to be sixth on my list.

_**Always have a backup plan**_

When I realized that Josh wasn't going to satisfy me I couldn't think of a way to get him out of here quickly. Alright, well, I was pretty damn drunk and not able to come up with anything off the top of my head. So, hmm, I really need to have some kind of damn back up plan to get out of a situation I don't like. So let's see that could be me setting an alarm on my phone that I can access quickly so it vibrates making it seem like I have an important call or something. Hmm, what else? Ooh, I could magically get my period. I smile, that would be funny. Just go to the bathroom and then come back and say "Sorry dude, mother-nature called and she said you're out of luck." I laugh out loud at that one. I could definitely pull that one off with my trademark smart ass flare. Oh wait… I could remember I have a big test that I need to study for, or that I promised my mom I would be home early in the morning for like a fake birthday or something. Shit! Like that would ever happen. I frown slightly at the thought of my mom. I'm not going to think about that bitch right now. Hmm, I need some more on this one because it's an important one. I think I really need about 7 or 8 viable excuses I can use aside from the "Fuck you, changed my mind." Hell, I got to have some kind of flash to my excuses.

So, now I am at seven which brings me back to the asshole that just left. Well, at least I can chalk up last night as a learning experience.

_**Don't expect a man to get you off**_

Most men are just worried about their own needs and don't give a shit about what I need. And if I have to masturbate when they're done in order to get off what did I need them for in the first place? Now, I have unique needs I am slowly discovering. Oddly enough, I like having sex in public. I didn't realize that until last month.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Hey Bella, wait up!" Jared says as I am walking across the quad towards the library._

_I slow down but don't stop. He reaches me out of breath._

"_Damn, Bella you could have at least stopped." He says frowning at me._

"_What do you need Jared?" I ask confused by why he wants to talk to me so badly._

_He smiles, "You again."_

_I look at him, deciding. I generally don't like to be with anyone more than once. They start to get clinging and want to be my "boyfriend". Yeah. Don't do "Boyfriends." He wasn't horrible but a bit boring. I start walking again, moving into the library. I need to get a reference for my next class and don't have a tremendous amount of time left._

"_Come on Bella. I know you said you are never with anyone more than once but come on, just one more time alright and I promise I won't bother you again."_

_Hmm, well I could use a lay. It's been a few days. I smile. We are already in the library. The reference I need isn't far. Like an idiot I missed the index number when I wrote down the volume and didn't have time to check it online before heading to class today. Well, if we are gonna do something it needs to be now which gives me a crazy idea._

"_Alright but let's do it right now."_

_He looks around shocked._

"_You want to do it in the library?" he asks softly._

_I grin at him, "Why not? Do you want me or not?" I say running my hand over the bulge in his pants. Slowly unbuttoning them and moving the zipper down. I pull him closer to me as I stick my hand down his pants, and grab onto his hard and ready cock._

"_There are people around." He stutters out._

"_I know." I say pulling him out of his pants, running my thumb across his head and dipping it into his slit. His eyes roll back and I grin. Man, guys seriously love that shit._

"_So do you want to?" I say moving my free hand towards my backpack, unzipping the front pocket to grab a condom. Hell yeah, I carry condoms in my backpack. You never know when the need will arise. I continue moving my thumb over his head and can feel he is already moist. He wants me but damn it, he needs to make a decision quickly. I don't have all day!_

"_Yes or no?" I say, wagging the condom package in one hand while I stroke his cock with my other hand._

_He looks at me, confusion and desperation on his face. He snatches the condom from my fingers, putting it on quickly. I reach my hand underneath my skirt, pushing my panties aside. I pull him closer, moving my leg up slightly so that he is at my entrance and he pushes inside me, forcing me against a row of books. _

_I know people can see us, no one seems to be watching but if they look this way they will know what we are up to. You can't see our lower halves but the expression on his face is a dead giveaway. He pushes into me over and over as I tighten my walls around him. I need to hurry this along, I have to be in class in 20 minutes and I still need this reference. I bring one of my hands under my top and pinch on my nipple a few times while I move the other hand to my clit. He moans loudly when he realizes what I am doing. I bring myself to climax and as I do I hear him grunt loudly as he releases as well._

_When we are done I step away from him, grabbing a napkin out of my backpack. Good thing I threw a couple in there when I had lunch. I bring it under my skirt wiping myself off as I walk away from him, leaving him breathing hard against the bookshelf._

"_Thanks Jared. That was fun." I say not even looking at him._

_I head over to the shelf I need and find the volume quickly. Man, that was so fucking hot and I got off quicker that time. I wonder if anyone saw us. I grin at the thought. I glance back and see Jared with his forehead against the bookshelf we just fucked against. I bet he can't believe he just did that. Well, he had a choice. I smile, sort of. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Okay, so the key for me is to know what I like and create situations that will elicit satisfaction. I know I like to be on top. I know I like giving head. I know thanks to Jared that I like fucking in public. Of course I am not sure if I got off from the public sex or me controlling the situation. Now THAT was a serious fucking turn on. I believe I might need to experiment a little more on that part. I know tweaking my nipples can elicit a climax. Hmm, I have heard that piercing your nipples can enhance pleasure. I might need to consider that. So, once again, I need to be able to take care of myself.

What else? Ah, another lesson I learned from Josh last night.

_**No second chances**_

If you don't satisfy me the first time why the fuck would I try again. I think if a guy can't make me come when given the opportunity then he doesn't deserve another chance to satisfy me. Why should I waste time on his damn learning curve?

I let out a deep breath, tapping my pencil on my teeth. What else is important? Ah, I know something. I mean seriously this should be a no brainer but I will put it down anyways.

_**Always have a full charge on my cell & enough cash for a cab**_

But, now that I think about it, I did go out once and my phone wasn't charged. That was pure stupid on my part. So I need to make sure I have a complete charge on my phone and should always have some cash tucked away with me for a cab, more condoms, some Jack. Who knows what I might need it for?

Hmm, what's that, nine? Yeah. Okay I need at least one more. Who makes a list with only nine things on it? Besides, I can't end my list with an odd number, that would just be, wrong. So let's see. I smile widely as the last thing comes to my mind. I quickly type in number ten.

_**Never give them my last name**_

Oh yeah! I like this one a lot and it will be much easier to do next year in Los Angeles. I can't really do it here because everyone knows me but I think this is a good rule. Seriously, if I never give my last name they won't be able to find me afterwards. They can't look me up; they can't ask people if they know me. I can get off and then be free. So there will be none of the shit Jared did after the library. Damn! He just followed me around like a damn puppy or something for a good two weeks. Nope, I can't deal with that kind of bullshit. In fact, maybe I shouldn't even screw around with anyone at the school.

I look at my list and smile. Yeah. I think this is a good list. Well, at least for starters. Okay Swan, these seem like pretty good damn rules to live by. At least if I follow them I should eliminate any unnecessary attachments. Hey maybe I should make the list my screensaver, that way I will see it all the time. I shake my head and laugh as I pull up the program I need for my upcoming exam. Alright Swan, get to work! Playtime is later.

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><p><em><strong>Bella Swan's Guide for Single Girls Seeking Sexual Gratification<strong>_

1. Wear clothes you can get on and off quickly

2. Always carry condoms

3. No walk of shame

4. Never bring them home

5. Always know your way home

6. Always have a backup plan

7. Don't expect a man to get you off

8. No second chances

9. Make sure your phone is charged & you have cash on hand

10. NEVER give them your last name

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><p><strong>AN…. Just thought I would do a little back story on Bella's guide to live by….LMAO! But, hey some of this advice is pretty salient for any woman. Am I right or am I right? Now, obviously Edward messes this up for our girl but still. No wonder she didn't know how to have a relationship because this guide doesn't bode well for relationship building, but then again, it is a SINGLE girls guide…LOL**

**Hope you enjoyed the frivolity and that you all have a fantastic Christmas. Have a wonderful time with your family and friends and remember that ya never know when it could all go away so take some time to cherish one another :-)**

**See you all on Friday!**


	7. Outtake: Daddy C

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Happy New Year's everyone!**

**This outtake is dedicated to my girl Corinne who wanted some Daddy C lemon cake for her Birthday (which I missed… so this is a belated birthday gift that you all benefit from... Now everyone say Thank You Corinne...and Happy Birthday of course...LOL)**

**Once again thank you to my amazing Beta's A & C for your guidance, encouragement & support…Now this outtake is some Carlisle goodness. I swear I could probably just write a story about him because he just fascinates the heck out of me. So… this is an excerpt from graduation with some memories mixed in. I have added some tasty Carlisle pics to the blog and the song which, well, speaks for itself.**

**And of course to all those who have the HOTS for Papa Cullen… ENJOY!**

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><p>Baby, I just wanna get your attention,<br>I really wanna be all up in your head  
>Cause what I got you gonna wanna get some<br>But girl that's only if you ain't scared

And I won't knock or ring no bells  
>You just float that bottom up in the air<br>I'll get you hot, I know you oh so well  
>And when I walk in all I wanna hear is you say<p>

Daddy's home, home for me  
>And I know you been waiting for this loving all day<br>You know your daddy's home and it's time to play  
>So you ain't got to give my loving away<p>

Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher

**Outtake: Daddy's Home**

**Carlisle POV**

Where did that boy go? Well, after that erotic number they were doing on the dance floor it doesn't surprise me that they have disappeared. I grin and look around the dance floor again trying to see if I can see what direction they might have gone in. I spot Esme talking to a few of the wives. God, she is just as beautiful now as she was when we met. She catches me watching and just grins at me. I smirk back at her and she brings her hand up to move a stray hair out of her face. I exhale sharply, hypnotized by her. How can something so simple be so erotic?

**~*TMH*~**

"_Hey, do you want a ride?" I holler at the beautiful woman walking along the sidewalk._

_I am in my convertible BMW, trying hard to get her attention. She has ignored me every time I have seen her. I am not used to that. Most women can't wait to get in my pants, or pocketbook. Whatever! Doesn't matter, I'm still getting laid. But not her. The minute she walked into the diner last week I was drawn to her. She had walked by me and my buddies and didn't even respond to all the cat calls she was getting. I actually felt a strong desire to kill my stupid friend, Dimitri, for staring at her ass and making comments about fucking her. _

_I have been following her for about a week. I know her name is Esme Masen, that she moved here from Ohio to go to school, and that she is attending the University of Chicago in some type of psychology doctorate program. From what I can tell she isn't dating anyone. Thank God! I'd hate to have to beat the shit out of someone and get picked up again so soon after my last arrest. Father would surely cut me off then. He wasn't happy that I returned home from Harvard and immediately picked up where I left off with all my hoodlum friends. Fuck him! He can't tell me what to do forever._

"_Are you really going to just pretend I don't exist?" I say as nonchalant as I possibly can._

_She stops suddenly and looks at me, okay, glare is more like it._

"_How can I pretend you don't exist when you keep following me?" she says with a huff. "Look… there are plenty of girls impressed with all of this…" she waves her hands dramatically at the car and then at me and I can't help the smile that creeps across my face, she looks so fucking hot all angry, waving her hands around, and I have a strong visual of her underneath me, panting my name. I shift in my seat to readjust myself. Damn she's so sexy. I almost don't hear the rest of what she says, "But I'm not… I have no desire to be one of your groupies, Carlisle Cullen."_

_She says my name with such disdain that I find myself at a loss of what to do. I stare at her dumbfounded. I am torn between being excited that she actually knows who I am and distressed that it doesn't make a difference. This woman is eliciting unusual and, prior to this past week, unnecessary feelings in me. I normally could care less what people think or do. But her being angry at me makes me completely uncomfortable. I smile at her, trying to go for charm but she just puts her hand on her hip and looks like she is ready to deck me. Shit! I pull the car over and jump out of it quickly making my way over to her._

"_What if I'm not looking for a groupie?" I say softly, running my fingers down her face._

_For the first time in my selfish life I know that it isn't bullshit, that it is true. I want that with her. The thought of being with someone else actually repulses me right now. I need this woman and I realize with certainty that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her which is kind of odd considering this is the first conversation we have had. She closes her eyes and falters for just a second before she pushes me away._

"_You're impossible." She says with less conviction than she had before._

"_Come on Esme. I like you." I say bringing my fingers over her plump and ready lips, "I think you like me too." I offer her my best smirk._

_She frowns, "I don't know that I like you at all. All I really know about you is that I see you with a different girl every week." She arches her eyebrow at me and I am simultaneously turned on and remorseful about my previous behavior. I just met her. How can she make me feel this way? _

"_**And**__ I see you and your little crew causing trouble everywhere you go." She touches the stitches on my chin from the fight I was in just a few days ago and my whole body shivers at the feel of her fingers on my flesh. She moves her hand away and gets a determined look on her face._

"_I don't have time in my life for a man who just takes and never gives, who believes the world owes him versus owing the world. I can get sex anywhere. Hell, I can satisfy myself for that matter." Holy shit! Did she just allude to masturbation? __She looks down and breathes in deeply before looking me straight in the eyes._

"_The world can be a cruel place and I won't be with someone who takes pride in hurting others. I deserve a man that will cherish me emotionally as well as physically. That will put me first in his life, someone who will hold me up when I am down, someone not so full of pride that he won't allow me to hold him up when he needs it as well. Can you be that man Carlisle? Are you even capable of that?" she says indignantly._

_I am overrun with emotions as I contemplate what she is saying. I have been with lots of women and none of them have ever affected me like she does and we haven't even had sex. She lets out a soft breath and starts to walk away and my world seems to stop. My heart is racing and my breathing is erratic as I reach for her. I can't let her walk away. She turns to look at me and the depth of her eyes pierces my shallow soul, and I was taken aback for a moment. I don't know what to do so I do the only thing that makes sense to me. I pull her into my arms and kiss her softly on her lips praying that she wants this too. Not knowing what I will do if she doesn't. She slowly parts her lips and I deepen our kiss, moving my hands into her hair as she wraps her arms around me. I am filled with not only the desire to make love to her but to take care of her as well, to be everything she wants and more. And I know that whatever it takes I will show her that I am worthy of her love. When we finally pull away from each other, I cup her cheek, memorizing every feature of her beautiful face because at this moment in time I know that my life will never be the same._

"_Please, Esme." I beg, yes, Carlisle fucking Cullen is begging, "Give me a chance."_

_She nods as she brings her mouth to mine._

**~*TMH*~**

"Mr. Cullen" I blink a few times, startled out of my memory.

"Yes." I turn to see Mr. Collins in front of me. I immediately reach my hand to him, shaking it firmly. He proceeds to start talking about one of the mergers my company is working on, giving me status updates but to be honest I am only half listening. Finally I see them walking back onto the dance floor. Okay, walking is probably an understatement. My son is practically skipping, he sees me and I arch my brow. He smiles and looks away quickly; I can see the blush creeping up his neck from here. I shake my head, grinning and when he looks my way again I motion for him to come over.

When he gets to me I put my arm around his shoulders. "Edward, you remember Mr. Collins, don't you?"

"Of course... It's a pleasure to see you again."

"If you could excuse us, please?" I say to Mr. Collins and he immediately leaves.

"So…" I say, walking us towards the DJ stand where he will give his speech. "I take it you and Bella won't be sneaking off any more?" I glance at him knowingly.

"We just went for a walk." I have to contain my laugh, a walk, sure.

"Uh huh… well, I would really like to see you two try to contain yourselves. I don't want my business colleagues thinking my son can't keep it in his pants long enough to wait until he gets home." I arch my brow at him.

"Yes, sir." He says averting his eyes.

"Son, you can't just go about having sex whenever and wherever you want. I thought you two were trying to set some boundaries."

"We are." He looks at me with a serious expression.

"Alright, well, it's time that you gave your speech. Are you ready?"

He nods and says something about the DJ. I notice Esme walking towards me. When she gets to me she moves her hand over my tie and tugs on it lightly.

"Don't be so hard on him. If I remember correctly we had some difficulty keeping our hands off of each other when we started dating." She says moving her fingers over the buttons of my shirt.

"Hmm" I kiss her softly, "I want to put my hands on you right now." I whisper in her ear.

She grins just as Edward walks over to us. I mouth the word 'later' to her and she nods. I grab the microphone, tapping on it, and then start speaking.

"Can I have your attention please?" Everyone turns around and gets quiet.

"My wife and I…" I put my arm around Esme and smile at her, for a moment I disappear into the depth of her eyes and then snap myself out of it, looking back at the crowd. "My wife and I would like to thank all of you for coming today to celebrate our son's graduation. We are very proud of him and the accomplishments he has made so far in his life and are excited to see what wonderful things he does from here on out." Everyone starts clapping.

"Thank you… My son would like to say a few words." I hand Edward the microphone.

"First off I would like to thank my parents for all of their support over the years." He turns to us and smiles, "I love you two very much. I couldn't have asked for better parents." Es and I look at each other and smile.

**~*TMH*~**

_I have been quiet the whole way back from the doctor's office. We found out the sex of the baby today and now all of a sudden I am freaking out. I didn't seem to be bothered with the thought of having a daughter but now, knowing how I feel about my father, is making me question whether I can be a good father to a son. Sons are supposed to look up to their fathers, to respect them and feel that they will help when called upon. Things my father and I never had._

"_Whatever you're thinking, stop!" she says touching my leg._

_I frown. I both hate and love that she can read me so well. I just take a deep breath as we pull up to our place. I park and get out, walking to her side. I take her hand in mine, walking her up the path to the front door. She tugs on my hand when we get to the door, forcing me to look at her. When I do she has a serious expression on her beautiful face._

"_You're nothing like him."_

_I huff and roll my eyes. I was pretty much a selfish bastard before she came into the picture. How does she know that I won't be him? What if that shit is genetic or something? I unlock our door and toss the keys on the little table near the entrance._

"_You don't know that Es." I say matter-of-factly._

"_Carlisle, stop it!"_

"_I can't Es… I mean you know my father, he's a bastard, always has been. He never cared about me or what I wanted. He treated everyone around him like shit. What if I turn out like him? What if our son ends up hating me like I hate my father? What if…"_

_She grabs my face and kisses me fiercely and I am lost, forgetting momentarily my fear of fatherhood. I move her to the couch quickly, never removing my lips from her. She brings her hands to my pants undoing them with ease and I growl against her mouth. I pull away from her as she begins stroking my cock. I grab the hem of her shirt to take it off but in my fervor I actually rip part of it._

"_Shit! I'm sorry Es." _

"_It's okay," she says excitedly as she rips it the rest of the way off._

_I smile, pushing her breasts out of her bra. I immediately start lavishing them with kisses. Since she got pregnant her breasts have felt different but fucking great. She is panting and already writhing underneath me. She starts tugging on my dick, pulling me to her. I can't help but chuckle as I move my hand down and guide myself into her. I start kissing her again, as she scrapes my back with her nails. I groan at the sensation she is creating and thrust into her quickly over and over and over until her hips arch up and she starts screaming my name. I thrust into her again and my body stills as I find my own release. I fall on top of her, careful not to put all my weight on her body and rest my head on her neck. I lay there catching my breath as she gently runs her fingers through my hair._

"_Our son will love you because he will see what I see in you."_

_I gasp and feel tears fall from my eyes._

**~*TMH*~**

I am drawn out of my memory when I hear a commotion in front of me and see Emmett and Edward shoving each other and laughing. I grin and step up to Emmett, tapping him on the shoulder. He mouths _sorry_ to me but they are both still laughing. Edward turns to Bella and when I look at her I can see that she is crying. What did I miss?

"Isabella… You make everything in my world better. My heart and my soul are yours, always. I hope to never know a world where you are not in it. I love you."

The whole crowd seems to sigh at the same time and when I glance at Es she has tears in her eyes. I pull her close to me and kiss the top of her head.

"The night is still young people and I want to start things off by dedicating this next song to my beautiful Isabella."

He motions to the DJ who starts playing a song which Edward proceeds to sing to her. I smile and hold Es close to me as we watch our son singing to the woman he loves. I may have had my doubts about them before but it is clear to see that he is happy, that THEY are happy. I won't deny him that, for him to have the kind of love that I found in Es. How could a father ask for anything less than that?

He motions for everyone to join them and I grab Es' hand leading her to the dance floor. I begin spinning and dipping her as she giggles against me. I pull her close to me and sway to the song, our bodies in sync with one another. I love her as much right now as I did the day we met, possibly even more.

As the night goes on I can't keep my eyes off of her. I seem to find her wherever she is. The way she practically floats from one guest to the other, the flow of her hair, the way her eyes shine brightly when she is laughing, and the love that seems to just emanate from her. How did I get so lucky? When the last of my business associates leaves the DJ announces that he will play a couple more songs. I come up behind Esme as she is clearing off a table. I move my arms around her waist and kiss her softly on the neck.

"You know my husband is here. He wouldn't approve." She says sexily.

"He's a lucky man." I pull her body close to me.

"Yes he is." She says giggling. "Is everyone gone?"

"All my people are. Edward and his friends are still here."

"They had a good time tonight, didn't they?" She says leaning her head back, looking up at me.

"I think so. I noticed that none of them were drinking."

"I noticed that too."

"She's really better isn't she?" I say, moving her wayward strand of hair that she has been messing with all night.

"She's getting there."

"She's good for him. I have never seen him so happy." I say kissing the top of her head.

Esme turns to look at me. "They make each other happy."

"She's a lot like me." I look down, not sure how I feel about that. "I just wish they didn't have to struggle with all the emotional stuff." I look up at her, "You know what I mean?"

She leans up and kisses me lightly on the lips. "I love you Carlisle."

"And I love you, my sweet and beautiful wife, forever." I kiss her deeply as she runs her hands up and down my back.

We hear a throat clearing and turn to see Edward and Bella standing there, grinning at us.

"We are heading out. Thank you for everything."

I put my arm around Es' waist and smile. "You're welcome son." I turn to Isabella, "Goodnight Isabella."

"Goodnight, Dah…" she giggles, "Goodnight, Carlisle." She then turns to Esme and smiles, "Goodnight Esme. This was unbelievable, everything you guys did for him."

"I'm glad you both had a good time." Esme says giving her a hug and then hugging Edward tightly, kissing him on the cheek.

They both walk away giggling, walking closely to one another and then he whispers something in her ear as she smiles widely at him, moving even closer. I shake my head and grin. When we say goodbye to the last of our guests and everyone is packing up, I glance at Esme, noticing that she is just watching me. She unbuttons my jacket and then grabs my tie, pulling me down to her.

"Come on Daddy, I think I want you naked with nothing on but this tie." She says as she runs her hand down my silk tie.

I swallow hard as she turns around and starts walking towards the house, still holding on to my tie over her shoulder, essentially dragging me with her. I grab her by the waist again and nibble on her neck.

"You know I like it when you call me that." I say roughly, pulling her ear lobe into my mouth.

"I know." She stutters out softly.

I grab her and quickly scoop her up, walking briskly to the house. She leans into me, kissing me as we enter our foyer. She pushes my jacket off my shoulders and quickly starts unbuttoning my shirt, continuously kissing my lips, my chin, up my jaw, breathing huskily at me. I am stumbling through our house, finally pushing her up against the wall just as she pushes my shirt open. I stare down at her hungrily as she runs her fingers along my chest, circling my nipples and then slowly making their descent down to my pants. I am breathing heavily as I rest my forehead against hers.

"Remember when we were in Rio, our first night on the island?" I mutter out as she unbuckles my belt.

She smiles, "Of course." She slowly unzips my pants, "That whole week was incredible." she says as she moves her hand into my pants, gently stroking my cock. "Daddy was so very sexy." she whispers huskily, squeezing me.

My eyes flutter closed and then I attack her mouth. I need her. I have wanted her all night, well every night. But we haven't been this urgent in a long time. She pulls away from me smiling as she shifts out of my arms, grabbing my tie again and jerking me to follow her. Like I wouldn't follow her anywhere. As she gets to the top of the stairs she unties the sash around her dress letting it slip off of her shoulder, then shifts my tie that she is still holding to her other hand so that her dress drops to the ground completely. She looks over her shoulders and winks at me and I smirk. She is still the most beautiful woman on the planet.

She pulls me into our bedroom and turns to face me, moving her hands along my stomach before pushing my dress slacks and boxers off. I quickly kick off my shoes and use my toes to get my socks off. She smiles and takes a step back, looking at me salaciously.

"I believe you requested me naked, with just my tie." I say taking a step towards her.

I gently trace the outline of her lace bra, watching as her chest moves up and down from her heavy breathing. I unsnap it and bring my hands over her breast, cupping them and running my thumbs over her nipples. I drop to my knees and shimmy her panties to the ground and move my mouth over her. She moans as I move her leg over my shoulder and wrap my arm around her ass, pulling her closer to me. My mouth moves along her, gently sucking on her clit, tracing every part of her, knowing what she likes, knowing her body so well.

"Umm, Daddy." she says seductively knowing that fucking turns me on. She started calling me that when she was pregnant with Edward and it was so fucking sexy. She started doing it all the time.

As soon as her body starts vibrating she grabs my tie and jerks me up to her, kissing me with reckless abandon. I push her on the bed and she brings me down on top of her, never letting go of my tie. She wraps her legs around me and I enter her quickly. She jerks on my tie again, forcing me down to her as she brings her hand into my hair and kisses me fervently. After a few moments she tosses the tie over my shoulder and scrapes her fingernails down my chest. I close my eyes moaning loudly when she suddenly flips me over, straddling my hips as she rocks to and fro, finding her rhythm. I watch in awe as she closes her eyes, making soft whimpering noises. When she opens her eyes again they are filled with want. She grins at me as she reaches down for my tie again, pulling me into a sitting position. I bring my mouth to her, kissing her relentlessly as we start moving quicker against each other.

"Oh God! Es… I love you so much." I groan against her, knowing I am close.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy…" she starts moaning against me and I growl again. God what she still does to me. I start bucking into her wildly until we are both screaming and panting as we find our release.

I hold her closely in my arms until we both catch our breath and then I lay us down on the bed, pulling the covers over us. I'll never regret a single day we have spent together. She definitely makes me a better man. I whisper _I love you_ to her as our bodies mold together, smiling against her when she whispers _ditto_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN… Ahhh, hope you enjoyed your birthday cake Corinne and that I did the tie justice. Welcome to my crazy world!**

**Love ya girl **

**Happy Belated Birthday!**


	8. Outtake: Esme & Carlisle

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**This outtake is dedicated to Barbara (LaPumuckl) who really wanted to hear from Esme again. Being that Dr. Masen is one of my favorite characters I was only too happy to oblige. **

**This chapter takes place right before Daddy C and Edward go after Mike and the song; well I believe it speaks for itself.**

* * *

><p>Why, why you look so sad, tears are in your eyes,<br>Come on and come to me now and don't be ashamed to cry  
>Let me see you through, 'cause I've seen the dark side too.<br>When the night falls on you and you don't know what to do,  
>Nothing you confess could make me love you less<p>

I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you<br>I'll stand by you

So… if you're mad, get mad, don't hold it all inside  
>Come on and talk to me now. Hey… what you got to hide?<br>I get angry too, well, I'm alive like you.  
>When you're standing at the cross roads and don't know which path to choose<br>Let me come along, 'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you<br>I'll stand by you

Baby, even in your darkest hour and I'll never desert you  
>I'll stand by you<br>And when… when the night falls on you baby  
>You're feeling all alone, you're wandering on your own<br>I'll stand by you.

I'll Stand By You by The Pretenders.

**Outtake: I'll Stand By You**

**Esme POV**

"Alright Mrs. Johnson. I'll see you next week." I say, smiling to the portly woman that is blowing her nose. I hate to break it to her but her husband is already out the door. God I hate to see that, one working so hard while the other could care less.

"Just remember, everything has purpose even if we don't understand it at the time." I say touching her shoulder.

She nods and wipes her eyes again. "Thank you Dr. Masen."

As she walks out my phone buzzes again. It did that a little bit ago, letting me know I have a message. I go to my desk and pull out my cell. It shows a missed call from Carlisle. That's strange. Why would he be calling me? He knows I have clients throughout the day. That can't be good. I quickly pull up my voice mail.

"_Es…something bad happened, he took her." There is a loud noise and I know he has just hit whatever wall is near him, I hear him take a deep breath, "It's a mess Es. It was a trap, James set us up. He took Bella. I'm in the elevator on my way to the suite. Edward beat me to the elevator and is going to arrive before I do. I don't know what he is walking into Es. Get here as soon as you can. Edward needs you," another pause, "I need you."_

Oh God! I quickly walk out to my receptionist and see my next client in the waiting room. She looks up at me, smiling.

I smile at her, "I'll be with you in a minute Ms. Taylor."

"No problem Dr. Masen." She says with another smile before returning her eyes to her magazine.

Liz looks up at me concerned. She has worked with me long enough to know that something is up. I lean down and whisper.

"Cancel the rest of my day. Something is happening and I need to leave. I will see Ms. Taylor because she is already here."

"Do you want me to cancel tomorrow as well?"

I pause, thinking. "Yes, you better cancel tomorrow as well since I'm not sure what is actually happening. I will call you later to let you know about the rest of the week."

She nods, "I'll be praying for you Dr. Masen."

I smile and tap her shoulder, "Thank you Liz. I think we will ALL need that." I take a deep breath willing myself to hold it together enough to get through this session. "Ms. Taylor, come on back." I say with my smile plastered on.

~TMH~

"_Why do you continue to hang out with him?" I ask confused. _

_In the past two years Carlisle's involvement with Dimitri has been steadily increasing which frankly has me very concerned. I thought that after we got married it would decrease and eventually stop but if anything it has gotten worse._

"_He's been my best friend since elementary school, Es. He's really not so bad." He says as he runs his fingers through my hair. _

_I roll on my back and look up at him. I know my face is not hiding the shock that is there. He can't truly believe that. Dimitri is bad with a capital B. His father heads one of three Russian mob families in Chicago and it is assumed that when his father passes on that Dimitri will take over. There has been a lot of bloodshed recently with some of the Italian families over territory and I don't want Carlisle in the middle of that but every time I turn around he is with Dimitri. _

_I don't hate anyone but I swear my dislike for Dimitri borders on hate. Dimitri doesn't hide the fact that he's ruthless and mean. Maybe that's not how he was when he was younger but that is definitely how he is now. Carlisle keeps telling me that he isn't doing anything illegal with Dimitri and that he just goes around with him because Dimitri needs him. Yeah, needs him to be his body guard or something. Carlisle has a reputation for being cold and fearless, willing to do just about anything. But personally I think Carlisle likes the fact that his dad has a mini heart attack every time he hears that he is with Dimitri. Carlisle and his father have some serious problems interacting with one another._

_He grins and runs his thumb between my brows, "Okay, maybe he is trouble but I don't know Es, he likes it when I'm around. He says I keep him safe. That people back off when I'm with him." He says full of pride and then adds, "I can't just abandon my friend."_

_I frown again. Friend my ass! A friend wouldn't lead someone they care about into danger. If Dimitri was truly his friend then he would want Carlisle away from all of this. But I bet Carlisle would be there anyway. He really seems to like the power that comes with being feared by others. How can I make him see that Dimitri brings out the worst in him, that he is becoming more heartless as each day goes by? When I asked him if he was planning on joining 'the family' he laughed and said even if he wanted to he couldn't because he isn't Russian. He had made light of it but I think he is a little disappointed that it isn't a possibility. _

"_He's going to get you killed." I finally whisper, trying to fight back tears._

_He leans down and kisses my forehead, "He can't hon… I'm invincible." He says smirking before bringing his mouth to mine, essentially ending the conversation._

The ding of the elevator brings me back to the present time. I have seen a steady shift in Carlisle over the past month. Well, really ever since things started getting a little crazy with Bella. He has been slowly falling back into some of his old behaviors that have been gone for so long. I don't want him to become what he was before we left Chicago. But sometimes when I hear him talking to Jenks I hear the old Carlisle, the one that used to frighten people, the one Dimitri turned to when he wanted things 'done', the man he was before I finally gave him an ultimatum. I close my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before walking down the hall to the suite.

The door to the suite is wide open and there is a lot of activity inside. When I walk inside I hear Carlisle talking to a police officer and inwardly cringe at their conversation. This is not going to be good. I zero in on Edward. He is sitting in one of the dining room chairs. His head is down and he is nervously pulling on his hair, breathing erratically. I quickly move to his side, touching his shoulder, letting him know I am here.

He turns to me and the sadness and dread on his face makes me want to die. I quickly pull him close to me and his tears start flowing almost instantly. I wish I could take this all away, I wish I could make this better for him but the reality is I don't even know what the hell is going on myself. I just whisper that I love him over and over again as I rub his shoulders and neck.

"It's my fault… if I hadn't left… I wasn't here for her… I left her… Oh God!" He says between uncontrollable sobs that are just breaking my heart.

"Shhh…" I whisper to him as I start running my fingers along the nape of his neck and then down his back, trying to calm him down.

"Sir… I know this is probably very difficult for you but I need to ask you some questions." The officer says and I hear Carlisle mumbling. I glance at him and shake my head slowly, begging him with my eyes not to make this any worse. He closes his eyes and steps back slightly, not saying anything else.

The officer hesitates and then speaks in a more clipped tone, "The longer we wait the lower the odds of us finding her… alive."

"I left her here, with Felix. I thought she would be safe." Edward says, clearly panicked and afraid. His breathing starts becoming fast and I can tell he is on the cusp of an immobilizing panic attack.

"Honey… you need to breathe. Take a breath sweetie." I urge him and breathe a sigh of relief when he takes a few steadying breaths.

I am barely paying attention, just focusing on calming Edward down when suddenly he stands up quickly, glaring menacingly at the officer.

"Yes. We reported it and your people didn't give a shit. You guys didn't help us and now look what happened. We were told to inform you if it escalated. So tell me, has it escalated enough for you guys to care?"

I glance at his hands and see that they are clenched and the next thing I know Carlisle is in front of him, anger and malice dripping off of him. Carlisle shoves Edward back in the chair and is staring at the officer, daring him to take a step towards Edward. Please officer back off, I inwardly plea, not wanting Carlisle to do something that will get him arrested. I am so lost watching Carlisle that I don't even see Rose come in and then Alice shortly after that. Alice quickly pulls Edward into her arms and is talking softly to him. I am glad she is here. She has always been so connected to him; she will help keep him calm.

Slowly Edward starts telling everyone what happened and I can't help it, when he starts talking about beating up Mike I look over at Carlisle. He never wanted that for his son yet here we are. Carlisle looks down, avoiding my eye contact, knowing that that violent streak is from him. When Edward finally finishes Carlisle steps away from us and immediately gets on the phone with Jenks. I cringe when he starts shouting but when I hear his last comment my heart drops.

"_Oh, he will tell me something, I'll make sure of it." Carlisle says cryptically._

He is becoming 'him' again and I am torn on how I should feel. It took Carlisle a long time to let that man go, to do things the way 'normal' people do things. Oh, I am sure he used some of his intimidation tactics to get people to come on board with him when he started his company but I don't think it was as bad as it was in Chicago. I watch as he hangs up and starts pacing the room frantically, working himself into a frenzy. I need to do something. I need to stop this before it goes too far. I jump up, crossing the room to him and touching his shoulder. He turns to me and his features change, morphing into confusion and fear. He grabs me and holds me tightly. I can hear how fast his heart is beating and feel how heavy his breaths are.

"You're not that man anymore." I whisper against his heaving chest.

"I need to be him if we are going to find her." He whispers back.

"I can't bear it again, Carlisle. I can't…I just…I can't lose you." I am stuttering now at a loss for words, remembering what it was like towards the end of our time in Chicago.

"You won't my love. But I need to find her, it's the only way. Our son won't survive without her just as I could never survive without you."

I start crying against him, knowing he is right but being afraid nonetheless. I start nodding at him and he lets out a deep sigh of relief. He holds me even tighter and for the moment I feel safe and comforted, until Edward starts talking again.

"I need to do something." He says looking down, "I can't just sit here waiting for them to tell me bad news." He jumps up looking directly at us, "What do I do, dad?"

"We talk to Mike again, try to determine where she is. By the time the police figure it out she could be dead." Carlisle says intently. "I won't allow that to happen."

Edward starts walking around the room and ends up outside on the balcony. Carlisle and I are watching him and then I glance around and see that both Alice and Rosalie are crying, being comforted by Jasper and Emmett. Carlisle sits down next to me and pulls me in his arms as he watches Edward outside. I close my eyes, my brain flooded with memories.

"_Maybe we should move?" I ask hopeful. _

_He is getting in deeper and deeper and pretty soon he won't be able to get out. For all I know it is already too late. He comes home at all hours of the night, sometimes with blood on his clothes. He always says it is someone else's but he won't tell me what he is doing, just reiterating that it isn't illegal. I have seen marks on his knuckles and sometimes his face so I know he is fighting again and I am at such a loss. What am I supposed to do? I am four months pregnant and studying for licensure but I am filled with such worry that it affects everything._

_He sighs dramatically, "Chicago is my home Es."_

"_Your son and I are your home." I say sadly._

"_Of course but…"_

"_There isn't a 'but' Carlisle. It is or it isn't."_

"_It's not that simple." He says with a huff._

_He throws the blankets off of himself and stands up, reaching for his pants. Where the hell is he going? He pulls them on and grabs his shirt lying on the floor. As he is pulling his arms through his shirt, he turns back to me and starts buttoning it up. _

"_I love you Es and I love our son. You two are my life." He kisses me on my forehead tenderly and moves his hand over my baby bump, rubbing it lightly, "Everything will be okay. I promise." He says before standing up again to go grab the rest of his things._

"_Where are you going?" I ask, afraid of the answer._

"_I have to meet Dimitri and Stephan." He looks at his watch, "In 30 minutes." _

_He tucks his shirt into his loose fitting jeans and then goes to the dresser, pulling on a dark sweater. I continue to watch him as he picks up his boots and sits back down on the bed, lacing them up. God I hate those damn boots. He calls them his shit kickers and I always get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever he pulls them out. But, when he sticks a knife inside of them I know that this isn't good at all. He runs his hand in his hair, pushing it back down and now I am really scared. He starts rolling his head a few times and my stomach starts doing somersaults._

_I start crying realizing he is about to do something bad, very bad. "Just stay here with me." I beg_

_He turns to me, gently stroking my face. "They need me."_

"_I need you."_

"_You have me…always" He says sincerely._

_He kisses me and this time it is filled with passion and energy. I wrap my arms around his neck, forcing him back on the bed and on top of me. He quickly starts running his hands over my breasts as his kisses become more urgent. I move my hand under his sweater and try to pull his shirt out of his pants but he brings his hands over mine, stopping me as he pulls away from our kiss. He sighs and stands up, glancing at his watch again before walking towards the door._

"_I love you Es."_

"_Please stay. I have a bad feeling."_

_He turns at the door grinning, "I'm invincible, remember?"_

"_Stop saying that Carlisle." I say frowning, wiping my tears away._

_He struts back to me, smiling mischievously and I can't help but grin. When he gets to me he tosses the blankets off of me and then grabs my face in his hands, kissing me fiercely. His tongue is on fire and I immediately need more. I need him, all of him. He moves his body over mine, using his knee to spread my legs, never breaking our kiss and within seconds I feel him inside of me and I forget for the moment how scared and worried I am, and just get lost in it._

The sound of Carlisle's phone startles me out of my memory. I can tell by his clipped tone that it is Jenks. A few minutes later he is up walking to the patio. I watch as he is talking to Edward and when he turns around I immediately feel a panic surging in my stomach, working its way up to my heart. All he needs is the boots and jeans and he will look like he did in Chicago.

"He's coming with me." Carlisle says quickly as he starts walking towards the door.

"Carlisle…NO!" I yell, terrified.

I don't want Edward a part of this. I can accept what Carlisle has to do but not Edward. I won't let Edward see that side of his dad. I know what Carlisle is capable of. Plus, I can't bear the thought of Carlisle getting hurt, let alone Edward. What is he thinking? Why would he want him with him? He never even wanted Edward to know anything about Chicago and here he is bringing him along.

"Es… he wants to be there. He has a right to be. There would be no one that could keep me home if it was you missing. I won't make him stay." Carlisle is so calm, he is already that man.

All I can do is close my eyes and nod, tears streaking my face. I know I can't stop this. I wrap my arms around myself and look down, saying a quick prayer for my husband and my son.

"We're coming too!" Emmett and Jasper say in unison jumping up from the chairs they were sitting in. I whip my head up and look at them and then Carlisle.

"No… you are not. I won't be responsible for either of you and I won't be able to do what I need to do if you two are there as well." He arches his brows at them in a knowing way.

They both stare at him and start to say something but Carlisle just shakes his head. They let out defeated sighs and sit back down. Oh thank God! I couldn't bear to have anyone else on this crazy mission Carlisle is on. When the door shuts I feel a heaviness envelope me. I close my eyes and let the sorrow take me.

"Mom." Alice says softly through her own tears. I glance over at her.

"Yes, sweetheart." I say taking a breath and trying to steady myself.

"Do you think she will be okay?"

"If your dad has anything to do with it. Yes."

"What if dad can't find her in time?" Now they are all looking at me like somehow I have the answers when I don't really know myself.

"Then we need to be very strong because your brother will need us more than ever." And I feel the lump forming in my throat just thinking about that possibility.

Tears stream down her face as she nods, burying herself in Jaspers arms.

"Listen… All of you…" They all look at me, defeated, "We have no control over what happens. All we can do is pray for the best possible outcome and prepare for the worst. But to be honest at this moment I won't allow my mind to go to the worst possible outcome so my choice is to focus on the fact that Carlisle will do anything and everything to find her. He knows what he is doing and I trust him completely."

I take a deep, cleansing breath.

"And, Isabella is nothing short of a miracle with the things she has already overcome. She won't let James break her. And she won't allow anything to happen to Edward. So with those things in mind I am going to say, yes, everything will be okay." I tell them with a determination I don't actually feel.

Everyone starts nodding and wiping their eyes.

"Hell yeah." Emmett says standing up. "James is going to rue the mother fucking day he crossed paths with Daddy C and Bella."

Rosalie looks up to him and he is nodding and she closes her eyes. He reaches his hands to her and lifts her up into his arms, swinging her around.

"She's right baby girl. Everything will be okay." He is now holding her chin up, looking her in the eyes and nodding knowingly.

She smiles and kisses him. I glance at Alice again and Jasper has his forehead pressed to hers and is whispering intently at her while she nods, tears flowing heavily down her face. I just bring my head down, wrapping my arms around my head, breathing in deeply.

_I look at the clock and frown. He's late. I run my hand over my belly and walk to the window looking outside. It's early March and I'm due in June. God I can't wait to have Edward. I am so looking forward to being a mother and watching Carlisle become a father. Where is he? There is a light snow falling on the ground. It's probably the last snow of the season. I watch as it lays a soft fluffy blanket on the otherwise grimy streets of Chicago. One last storm pushed its way through the Midwest, dusting snow across the entire state. I don't mind though. It always makes things seem fresh and clean, filled with possibilities._

_I turn around and walk back to the table, sitting down and looking at the meal I prepared for us. I frown and grab a piece of bread. It's going to get cold. I made us something special because today I got my letter stating that I passed my boards and am a fully licensed psychologist. I can't wait to tell him. Now, maybe I can convince him that we should move. I didn't push too hard before because I wanted to be licensed first knowing that once you're licensed in one state it is fairly easy to get licensed in another state. We could start over someplace else._

_I glance around our modest home, resting my eyes on our wedding picture. The best day of my life, so far. God he was so handsome. I stand up and walk over to the picture, picking it up and gently touching his smiling face. We need to get out of Chicago. Carlisle and Dimitri have been inseparable over the last several months which is not very good at all. Dimitri is trouble. Carlisle has assured me that he hasn't broken any laws but I know Dimitri has. It is only a matter of time before they make him do something he won't be able to take back and I'm sorry that is not going to work for me. The phone rings and I smile, knowing it has to be Carlisle._

"_You're late." I say in mock anger._

"_Esme… something happened to Carlisle." Stephan says out of breath._

I startle awake looking around, slightly disorientated. Where am I? How long was I zoned out? I then see Alice looking at me confused. It's then that I realize my cell phone is ringing. I glance around finding it on the table near me and pick it up quickly.

"_Carlisle?" I say hopeful._

"_Esme… things got fucked up." Jenks says quickly._

My heart drops into my stomach and I bolt up off of the chair. I am feeling lost and confused, déjà vu gripping and twisting my heart. It's like there isn't enough air to breath and I feel a piece of my soul slipping away and I subconsciously know that it is Carlisle. Something bad happened.

"_What do you mean things got fucked up?" I say angrily, ignoring the strange look that Alice is giving me. Yes, my sweet Alice, I said a bad word. It happens on occasion._

"_We found them and Edward fucking went storming inside before we were ready, Carlisle went after him. I heard the gunshot but when I got to my post I saw that Mike was on the floor. I was trying to keep an eye on that bitch Vicky but things got fucked up."_

"_WHAT HAPPENED?" I scream into the phone._

_There is silence for a moment, "Carlisle was shot. I don't know how bad it is but the ambulance just left. I need to go after this bitch but I wanted you to know right away." He pauses for a moment, "I'm sorry Esme". He says before hanging up._

I drop the phone, breathing in quickly. I feel like my world just collapsed. I have spent more than half of my life with Carlisle. I am not ready to lose him. I am silent as a drop back missing the chair completely and hitting the ground. My mind is swimming with questions just trying to make sense of everything. Did he say Vicky? What does Bella's sponsor have to do with this?

"Mom!" Alice screeches at me, "Mom, what's going on?"

I shake my head and take a deep breath, standing up and frantically looking around for where I left my purse. I find it and grab it quickly, then throw my phone in it as I start walking towards the door. I need to get to the hospital. I need to get to Carlisle.

"MOM!" Alice screams at the top of her lungs and I stop.

"Your dad was shot and he's on his way to the hospital. I don't know anything else." I say flatly as I step out of the suite.

I hear her cry and am torn with turning around and comforting her and getting to the hospital as quickly as possible. I take another breath and decide that Alice has Jasper. He will take care of her. Right now I need to get to my husband.

~TMH~

Carlisle is already in surgery by the time I get to the hospital. They haven't told me much other than he has a shoulder wound that is bleeding internally. I then find out from one of the other doctors that Bella is also in the hospital having been severely beaten. Edward is fine from what they have told me. I quickly use the phone at the nurses' station to call JJ. Bella's therapist should know what happened to her. She should be there for her as I need to be here. I feel bad that I can't seem to do this right. I should be comforting Alice and I should go down and check on Edward and Bella but I can't. It's like my feet can't move from here until I know that Carlisle is okay. _Please Lord, don't take him from me yet. I'm not ready. _I feel tears streaking down my cheeks as I wrap my arms around myself, willing my heart to beat normally again.

"_Mrs. Cullen?" The young doctor says as he is entering the waiting room._

_I glance up at him, my skin blotchy from crying. _

"_The surgery went well. The bullet missed his heart. We put him in a self-induced coma so that we could repair the extensive damage he incurred." I gasp, bringing my hand to my mouth, "We were able to repair the damage Mrs. Cullen but he will need extensive rehabilitation."_

"_How long will he be unconscious?" I barely rasp out._

"_Anywhere from 3-4 days is normal. Come with me. You can see him now."_

_My feet are glued to the spot and then suddenly my feet can't seem to move quickly enough. When I walk into the room he has many tubes coming out of him, his skin is pale and almost lifeless. I bring my hand to my mouth trying to hold my gasp inside. My breathing picks up and I know I need to calm myself down. I just can't move as I stare at him. Edward kicks me several times which finally brings me out of my haze. I slowly walk to the bed and sit down next to it, bringing his hand in mine. I feel the tears form again and just lay my head down next to him, crying softly and praying that he will be alright._

_~tmh~_

_Edward keeps kicking me and I know I need to eat but I just can't, anything I put in my mouth comes right back up. Carlisle has been asleep for three days now and I haven't been able to hold anything down in that time frame. My Ob/Gyn is threatening to hospitalize me but I don't think she understands what this is like for me. I can't seem to function right now. I am just coming out of the bathroom, after throwing up yet again, when I see Dimitri walk inside the room. There's not a scratch on him! What the hell does he want?_

"_How's Brat?" He asks all nonchalant like this wasn't his fault in the first place._

"_He's not your brother!" I say coldly, watching as his eyes become dark and menacing but I am not wavering, "If he was truly your brother you would want to protect him. You would want more for him than what you have been dealt." I say running my hand over my stomach._

_He looks down and takes a deep breath, before looking back up, his eyes softer, "Es. I know you don't believe this but he __**is**__ my brother. He has been since we were __malʹchiki__." When I look at him confused, he sighs, "Boys, since we were little boys. I care about him and you know I don't care about anyone." He says with the first genuine expression I have ever seen on his face._

_He turns and looks over at Carlisle, taking a deep breath before walking over to him. He leans close to his ear and starts whispering intently in Russian. Damn. I wish I knew what he was saying. He then turns back to me, "I didn't want this to happen." He says sincerely._

_I stare at him and want to hate him but it's just not in my nature to hate anyone._

"_What did happen?" I finally ask._

_He sighs, "I can't talk to you about it but __Bolʹshoĭ__ saved my life. Anything you guys need you let me know. I'll make it happen!" He says confidently. "Will you tell him I came by?"_

_I just nod and wave him off walking back to my chair near Carlisle's side. We don't need anything Dimitri has to offer._

_~tmh~_

"_Es?"_

_I can barely hear him; in fact I am not sure I am actually awake. But when his hand touches my head I jerk up, staring at him, tears immediately falling._

"_I'm sorry." He whispers, swallowing hard._

_I just shake my head and bring his hand to my face, gently kissing his palm._

"_It doesn't matter. You're alive and that's all I care about."_

_~tmh~_

"_Carlisle, stop complaining." I say flustered. _

_Honestly this man. There must be something in the Y chromosome that enables grown men to turn into sniveling little babies when they are hurt. I'm 7 months pregnant and do you hear me whining and complaining? Of course not!_

"_But Es if fucking hurts. Why do I need to do this anyway?"_

"_Because it will increase your mobility." I say rolling my eyes._

_He smirks and then pulls me on his lap, "I know a better way to increase my mobility."_

_I laugh and pat my stomach and he grins mischievously._

"_Edward do you mind if your mom and I 'get busy'?" He says talking to my stomach and wagging his eyebrows at me. I just grin and shake my head as he places his ear against my stomach and makes exaggerated "uh huh, uh huh" noises._

"_Carlisle…" I start to say but he puts his finger to his lips and shakes his head. I grin and watch him and a few moments later he is sitting back up._

"_He told me that he was okay with me pleasuring you." He says all sexily as I arch my brow at him, "Well, and me in the process, as he is planning on taking a nap."_

"_He is, is he?"_

_He nods and brings his mouth to mine, his hand moving over me with purpose._

_~tmh~_

"_Yeah sure. Alright. See you in a bit." Carlisle says smiling as he hangs up._

_I am leaning against the counter watching him. I know he was on the phone with Dimitri. I can't believe he is just jumping right back in there with him. It's only been 8 weeks since he was shot. He looks at me and frowns when he sees the expression on my face. He walks over to me and leans down to kiss me but I turn my head away from him. He sighs and leans against the other counter, facing me, crossing his arms over his chest and preparing for the argument we have had many times already._

"_Es… it's not like that. He just wants to hang out, go have a few beers. He doesn't want me to 'do' anything." He says calmly, way too calmly._

"_I know he is your friend but you are aware that he's a gangster right?" I say, tenuously holding onto my control. He rolls his eyes at me._

"_And that you nearly died because you were with him?" He sighs and looks down, avoiding eye contact as he runs his hand through his hair._

"_And that although you aren't 'officially' in the mob you act like you are?" Ok, now I am pissed at his nonchalant attitude. He looks up at me and frowns._

"_That's not true Es and you know it."_

"_It isn't? Are you sure about that?" I say angrily. "You strut around acting like you are some character in some mob movie that everyone is scared of."_

"_People ARE afraid of me!" He says loudly._

"_And you're happy about that?" I say raising my voice another octave._

"_What do you want me to do Es? Become some business man in some high rise office? That's not who I am. That's who my dad is!" He says raising his voice even louder._

"_So this is about your dad? You are going to ruin everything so you can get back at 'daddy'. That's perfect Carlisle, just PERFECT!" I say with complete disdain._

_He stares at me and I know that most people would be afraid of him right now but I'm not. I know he loves me and I know he would never hurt me, but Christ, this has gone on long enough._

"_I didn't sign on to be a mob wife. This isn't some movie Carlisle. This is real life. Your association with Dimitri has already almost made me a widow. I won't live in fear every time you walk out the door." I say, crossing my arms, as best as I can over my huge belly._

_He steps back, a stunned expression on his face. "What are you saying Es? Are you telling me to choose between you and Dimitri?" There is hurt now mixed in with the anger in his voice._

"_I don't know Carlisle. I can't live like this. I have always stood by you and you know that. I have ignored the obvious signs that your alliance to Dimitri is more important to you than Edward and I." He is shaking his head vehemently and his expression is morphing into fear._

"_That's not true, Es. I love you and Edward more than anything." He says, trying to control the tears that I know are just under the surface._

"_It is true." I say softly trying to fight my own tears, "You consistently choose to be Dimitri's right hand man over being a husband. Why would that change after I have Edward?"_

_He doesn't say anything, he's just breathing heavily, weighing every word I'm saying._

"_What do you want from me Carlisle? To be some silent, dutiful, wife who will clean your bloodied clothes and lie to people about what you do. What am I supposed to tell our son when you die protecting Dimitri when you could have been with us?"_

_He stares at me, at a complete loss for words. I can see the terror in his eyes and for a moment I actually hesitate. But I need to do this. It's the only way to make him see. I look down and breathe in sharply before finally staring at his devastated expression._

"_I was offered a position in Seattle. I want to take it. I don't want to raise our son in Chicago and I don't want you sucked into a lifestyle that will take you away from me. I can't live without you Carlisle but I will if you continue down this path. I can't bear the thought that at any moment I could get a phone call saying you have been sent to prison or worse that you have been killed. I have to think about what's best for Edward." I say determinedly._

_He stares at me for a long time, various emotions passing over his face. I have been thinking about this for a while but he always shut me down, never wanting to talk about it. To be honest I am not even sure why I applied for that position in Seattle but I did and it seems like the perfect opportunity for the three of us to start over. Far away from Chicago, far away from Dimitri, and far away from all the bad things I know Carlisle has done. I watch as he slides down against the cabinet and sits on the floor, bringing his head in his hands and I can hear that he is crying. His body heaving in defeat and sorrow and my heart breaks even more. I take a deep breath and maneuver on the ground in front of him. I run my fingers in his hair and he looks up at me._

"_Don't leave me." He says with tears streaming down his face._

_I touch his cheeks, gently wiping his tears away, "Don't force me too."_

_I sigh and sit down next to him and he immediately lays his head on my lap. I breathe in deeply as I bring my hand into his hair, gently massaging his scalp as he continues to cry. I never wanted to give him an ultimatum. I know how much Dimitri means to him but Edward and I have to come first. My heart is aching. I don't want to live without him but I can't sit by and do nothing anymore. After several minutes his breathing starts to regulate and I can tell he is no longer crying. He takes a deep breath and turns his head to look at me. His face is flushed and his hair is a mess but it's the depth in his eyes that pierces my heart. I can feel my eyes watering. He reaches one hand to my face, gently wiping under my eyes and starts caressing my belly with his other hand._

"_I go where you go." He finally says softly and now it's my turn to cry._

"Mom?" Alice says, softly touching my shoulder and I realize I have completely zoned out again.

"Yes?" I take a deep breath, "I'm sorry sweetheart. What is it?"

"Rose said that Edward is bringing Bella up."

I smile. That's good. That means she is well enough to go home. "Hon, why don't you keep an eye out for them so you can let them know where we are?" She nods excitedly, "But sweetheart, please don't react to how she looks." I turn to all of them, "She was beat up pretty badly, please don't respond to it. Act like it is okay. We don't want her to feel self-conscious about it." I say to all of them.

"We won't say anything Mrs. C" Emmett says sincerely.

I nod and put my head down again. I feel so drained. Within what seems like seconds but I am sure is minutes, Edward wheels Bella into the waiting room. Oh God she really looks horrible but I smile and get up, walking over to her and kissing her lightly on the forehead. She smiles at me and then looks around the room while I go and sit back down.

"What's the matter with you two?" She asks Emmett and Jasper.

"Bella…" Jasper takes a deep breath and walks over to her, "If you hadn't killed him already, we would have." He kisses her on the forehead.

"Oh... I thought only Edward and Rose wanted to kill him." She says softly.

"If we had been allowed to go we would have all pounded that bastard for everything he did to you now AND when you were a kid." Emmett says leaning down and kissing her forehead as well.

She smiles at them both, "Well, I think having Edward and Carlisle in danger was enough. I am glad you two weren't there." She says seriously.

She motions for Edward to wheel her near where I am. She smiles when she gets to me.

"Thank you for calling Dr. Jackson. I know this must be really hard for you but you were still thinking about me." She looks down and I see tears in her eyes.

I touch her leg. "It was nothing Isabella. Please don't blame yourself for this. It isn't your fault."

She whips her head up at me, tears streaking her face, giving me that look she always does when I nail her exact thoughts. Oh Bella. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you are blaming yourself.

"You take on way to much Isabella. One of these days you're going to need to let it go." I say raising my eyebrows at her.

"I know. Dr. Jackson told me the very same thing. Do you two have conference calls about me or something?" She says looking down again and I can't help but laugh, loudly. It's the first laugh I have had since all this started. I laugh so hard I start crying.

"Oh… Isabella. Thank you so much." I say tapping her leg lightly and then forcing her to look up at me, "I am so very happy that you are in our lives."

She smiles and then looks back down shyly and then back to Edward who kisses her lightly on the forehead. Everyone continues to make small talk but now I can't stop watching Edward who seems to be nursing some negative feelings. Knowing my son as I do I am sure he has shifted all the blame to himself. I will need to talk to him privately as well.

"Dr. Masen… Mr. Cullen can take visitors now but only two at a time." The nurse says.

"Maybe Edward and Bella should go first so he can take her home." Alice says thoughtfully.

Bella starts shaking her head. "No way, Sunshine. Your mom needs to go in first. There's no way I am going before she does." Bella states adamantly and I just smile. Then she turns to me, "Esme you need to go first. I am okay. Edward and I can go after you. But I know he would want to see you first." I nod, knowing damn well she is right.

I get up and walk towards his room and when I walk in I have a sudden case of déjà vu. God! This is becoming a regular occurrence. I take a deep breath and tell myself that this is different. He turns but can't raise his head very well.

"Es?"

"I'm here my love." I say, sitting down and taking his hand in mine.

"I'm sorry" He says, hurt and anguish in his voice, "I promised you that I would never put you through this again." He says closing his eyes.

I move his hand to my face and then kiss him lightly on the palm.

"It doesn't matter." I say shaking my head, "I am just thankful that you are alive."

He smirks slightly, "I'm invincible, remember."

I smile and kiss him lightly on the lips. "How could I ever forget that important fact?"

He breathes in deeply and I run my fingers down his jaw, cupping his face lovingly. He leans into my hand and I smile bringing my mouth back to his. We kiss ardently for several minutes and when we are both out of breath I pull away, smiling as I sit down next to him.

"How are Bella and Edward?" He asks with concern.

"Edward seems to be fine other than taking responsibility for everything. Bella…well, she is pretty beat up but she is okay."

He nods and has an angry expression on his face. I know that look all too well.

"It's not your fault. You saved her."

He frowns.

"Carlisle stop. Please…" I say sighing, "Bella would be dead if it weren't for you and in return we would have lost our son as well. You saved both of them. End of story. I won't have you shoulder guilt and regret." I say determined to make him see how his actions were truly heroic.

He looks at me and brings my hand to his lips, kissing my fingers softly.

"I love you Es."

"I love you too."

I rest my head on the bed near him and put my arm around his waist while he moves his hand into my hair. I close my eyes, feeling my heart beat normal for the first time since this all began. My family is whole again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN…. Ahhhh, hope you liked a glimpse into Esme's freaking AWESOME head So… hmm, Daddy C was indeed a bad boy when he was in Chicago. I am glad Esme got him out before it was too late. But it also makes sense why Esme was so angry at him for the way he treated Bella especially after all the crap she had to deal with….YIKES! So go to the blog…takemehome-lovinrob dot blogspot dot com for the song and some great pics of Carlisle and Esme.**

**So I will post another outtake next week…. Don't forget to hit me up with a review **


	9. Outtake: Bachelorette Party

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**This outtake is dedicated to Chris (kalinca62) who really wanted this montage to sexy times. **

**This chapter takes place at Bella's bachelorette party. Just a quick disclaimer… make sure your shamwow panties are on and that you have a means for 'release'… just sayin' **

* * *

><p>Docta, docta, need you back home baby<br>Docta docta….where you at? Give me something  
>I need your love, I need your love, I need your loving<br>You got the kind of medicine that keeps me coming.

My body needs a hero, come and save me  
>Something tells me you know how to save me<br>I've been feeling weird, oh  
>Oh, I need you to come and rescue me<p>

Make me come alive… come on and turn me on  
>Touch me, save my life… come on and turn me on<br>I'm too young to die… come on and turn me on

Turn me on  
>Turn me on<br>Turn me on  
>Turn me on<p>

Oh you make it, make it right  
>My temperature is super high<br>If I scream, if I cry it's only 'cause I feel alive

Turn Me On by David Guetta (featuring Nicki Minaj

**Outtake: Turn Me On**

BPOV

"So what do you have lined up tonight Rose? You know Esme and Renee are going to be there as well as some people I don't even know that well." I say, utterly concerned and seriously questioning why I put her in charge of my bachelorette party.

"Oh calm down Swan! Since when do care what other people think?" Rose says while flipping through a magazine in Alice's shop.

I stare at her incredulously, "Okay. First off, I don't give a shit what other people think but I think my mom and Esme will have a heart attack if you do something overly sexual."

She glances at me from over the magazine and Alice giggles as she hands me the dress that I will be wearing after the wedding, motioning for me to try it on. Rose sets her magazine down and smirks evilly at me.

"Did you just question whether I would be doing something…hmm… what was it… oh yeah 'overly sexual' at your bachelorette party? I do believe that I am the one in charge of the festivities, am I not?" She says evenly.

"Of course you are but shit. I don't want Esme or her fundraising friends to know how depraved I am." I say, frowning as I slip the dress on.

"Uh… wasn't she your therapist? I think it is safe to say she already KNOWS how depraved you are." Rosalie says with a laugh and a shake of her head.

Okay she does have a point there. Fuck! "Yeah… well, still!" I say unable to think of anything clever to say, "You didn't hire a stripper did you?" I ask, probing for answers.

"No, but I do believe you enjoyed the last stripper I hired for you." She says, flipping another page, smirking and I can't help it, my mind goes there, to Edward in my mother fucking chocolate suit.

_He grins deliciously at me as he unbuttons his shirt all the way, swaying his hips as he crouches in front of me on the stage. He slips his shirt off revealing a white wife beater underneath and once again I drop my mouth. He lets his shirt fall to the ground as he moves back up wiggling his hips in front of me. He grabs the pole again moving one leg around it as he swings in a full circle. He turns where he can see me and licks his lips, giving me his best smoldering look which, let's face it, leaves me in ashes. He turns back around swaying his hips to the music as he takes his hands and slowly moves the wife beater up and over his head, swinging it above his head before finally flinging it somewhere. I don't know where. I can't take my eyes off of him._

_He starts moving his hands along his chest, running his thumbs over his nipples, tugging on his barbells while I let out a loud guttural moan. He then runs his hands back down his chest, resting his fingers on the top button of his pants. He unsnaps them dramatically, slowly unzipping them to reveal his sexy hair and no mother fucking underwear. He's fucking going commando on me and once again I find myself groaning._

_He shimmies his pants on the floor and is standing before me completely naked, clearly the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He smiles salaciously at me and then gets down low again running his hands over his hard and ready cock._

I feel a magazine hit my head, shaking me out of my memory right before I get to him masturbating for me. Fuck! That was so hot. I shake my head a few times and look at the two of them, who are just grinning at me. They know where my mind went. Bitches… both of them.

"Fuck you Hale!" I say trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

"Thanks for the offer but not interested." She says blowing a kiss at me.

"You two are so funny." Alice says bringing me some shoes for the dress. "It's not like my mom and her friends haven't had sex before and as many times as your mom's been married I find it difficult to believe she would be shocked by anything Rose might do."

Rose nods in Alice's direction and grins motioning her hands towards her, "See Swan, even short stuff over there is on my side so calm your stressing ass down. It will be fun! I have some fun games planned." She says, winking at me.

"Why am I more scared now?"

I glance at Alice who just shrugs her shoulders at me with a knowing grin. She knows exactly what Rose is plotting. Well this ought to be interesting to say the least. Fuck it! I guess it's too late to try and be innocent.

~TMH~

"Baby… they're here." Edward says from the living room.

I walk out and Rose is in straight hoochie attire, short leather mini skirt that barely covers her ass and a tight bodice that is pushing her breasts almost completely out. Even little Alice is a bit risqué tonight in some hot pants and silk tank top. Of course it's not like I am any better in my denim mini skirt and camisole top but… still.

"Are we going to a club?" I ask mockingly.

"Ha, Ha! Very funny, Swan." Rose says, winking at me.

Edward comes up behind me and runs his hands under my top and over my stomach, his absolute favorite spot to be. I am four months pregnant and have started to show a little bit. Well I think a lot but I am sure it isn't as bad as I think. He is extremely happy. Well, we both are. After the initial shock wore off I was happy. He runs his hands over my stomach, kissing down my neck and sending goose bumps across my skin.

"I love you so much."

"Are you talking to me or our child?" I say jokingly.

Well, I think I say it jokingly. The last month or so I have been feeling a little off. It's selfish, I know, but I don't want to share him. Dr. Jackson thinks it's a normal response for me to be a little jealous but she assured me that we can work through it. I just think it is another indicator that I am going to be a fucking horrible mother. My emotions have been all over the charts and it's only been the last few weeks that I have started to feel somewhat normal again. He turns my face to his. His eyebrows are scrunched together and his lips are in a tight line and he has a determined expression on his beautiful face.

"Isabella... My love for you is beyond measure. It continues to grow with each day that passes and nothing will ever change that. You AND our child are my life now."

"I'm sorry." I say sheepishly. Fuck!

He brings his mouth down to mine and kisses me passionately and I immediately get lost in it. I quickly turn my body towards him, my hand creeping into his hair, pulling him as close to me as humanly possible. He moans urgently and brings his hands down my back, resting them on my ass and kneading. We hear a throat clearing but ignore it as our desire ignites. Just as my hand latches onto his cock I feel a hand on the back of my shirt as Rose jerks me back, out of Edwards embrace. Fucking A!

"What the fuck, Rose!"

"We're going to be late." She says coolly as she shoves me out the door.

I glance back and see Edward at the door, breathing hard. He brings his fingers to his lips which are red and swollen from our kiss and I can see the outline of his cock in his pants. FUCK! He smiles and then mouths 'I love you' to me just as I get into Carlisle's car. The minute I am inside I kick Rose.

"That wasn't necessary Rose." I huff, crossing my arms at her.

She frowns, "You can fuck him later but we had to go. And fuck, that's gonna leave a bruise." She says glaring at me and rubbing her leg where I kicked her.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"Stop fighting you two." Alice says in her sing song voice, "Bella, you were ready to 'you know what' with my brother and Rose you didn't have to be mean about it." She says leaning back in her seat.

"You know what?" I say to her with a smirk.

"Yes, you know what." Alice giggles.

"Ya know short stuff. We have a 6 foot inflatable penis at your mom's house so I think you need to loosen up a tad bit." Rose says nonchalantly.

I turn to Rose quickly, "You have a WHAT?"

She grins, "You'll see."

"Esme isn't going to want that in her house." I say softly.

"Oh, whatever Swan! She's the one who inflated it. Since when did you become such a prude?" She asks, arching her perfectly sculpted brow at me.

"Oh God! Rose, seriously, what did you do?"

"Don't worry it will be fun plus I ran stuff by Esme first, since I know you are paranoid about embarrassing yourself in front of your mother in law, which seems odd to me considering she already knows about your sexcapades with her son, but whatever!"

I laugh, "Yeah I know I am being ridiculous. But it's not like I knew Edward was her son when I told her all that shit."

And I immediately think back to some of the things I actually told her. Our first time, the Pier, the Library, tying him up… Damn! My kitty is aching, needing a release desperately and they are making me stay at Esme's house tonight because apparently I am not supposed to see Edward before the wedding. That of course seems completely absurd considering that Edward and I live together and have sex all the damn time. Add to the fact that I have been so damn horny the past few weeks. It's like once I hit the 2nd trimester all I want to do is fuck. Well, technically I want to do that all the time but more so now. I am so out of control, I think Edward's dick is probably gonna fall off. I feel a purse hit me on the side of the head and then hear both Alice and Rose laughing.

"What were you thinking about Swan?" Rose asks knowingly.

I shake my head and laugh, looking outside the window. When we arrive at the Cullen house there are already several cars here. This is going to be nuts. Half of the people that will be here I don't even know that well and I got Skanky McHale over here ordering an inflatable penis. I am in some serious trouble.

We walk into the house and towards the sitting room where low and behold an inflatable pink penis that is almost as tall as Edward is happily being bounced on by my mother no less. Great! When she sees me she hops off and runs over to me all giggly. Honestly, how old is she?

"Oh, Bells, honey you got to ride that penis." She says, serious as can be and my eyes widen at her. Did she just tell me to ride a penis? I grin. I believe she did. Where the fuck is Edward?

Angela and Rachel come over, giggling, "Hey Bella."

"Hey. So have you ridden the giant penis yet?" I ask smirking at Edward's friends from school. They both nod and giggle some more. Okay, well maybe this will be fun after all.

An hour later, EVERYONE has had a go on Captain Pecker and we have the pictures to prove it. Even Esme's friends, Mary and Charlotte, have had a blast. Of course the nurses from the hospital, Becky, Susan, and Corinne, know me and Rose so they are taking it up a notch. I believe it was Corinne that suggested dressing Captain Pecker up. I have some seriously crazy ass people in my life.

"Okay, everyone gather around. We are gonna play some games." Rose glances at me and smirks, "Everyone grab a piece of paper and then form groups based on the numbers." She says as she walks by each of us with a bowl full of little slips of papers.

Alice then walks back inside, I didn't even see her leave, and sets three bananas on the table along with condoms and massage oil. Everyone stares at the table and I smirk, thinking 'Oh, I am so going to win whatever game this is'. With Rose and Alice there are three groups of four. She hands each of us one banana with an unrolled condom on the tip of it while Alice goes around and squirts some massage oil in our dominant hand. Oh, this is going to be so easy.

"Alright, everyone, the object of the game is to roll the condom down and then back up and hand it to the next person on your team, do it until everyone has gotten two turns and then when the last person finishes you have to all yell at the same time 'We are the condom queens'. Anyone have any questions?" Rose asks, looking around the room.

I look at my group who all of a sudden look fearful.

"Alright ladies, there is no way I am losing this, just relax and remember it's a swift one stroke movement. The oil will make it a tad bit more difficult but it will still be easy. Okay?" I say staring at them intently. My group consisted of Mary, Angela, and Becky.

"On the count of three…1, 2, 3... GO!" Rose says loudly.

I quickly go first figuring I would show them how easy it is and of course they all stare, in awe at how fast I am. I then pass to Becky who is pretty quick as well, Angela was a bit clumsy but Mary, holy crap, I thought she was gonna bite her lip off, she was concentrating so hard and then we go through it again. Now the second time was A LOT harder as the banana was all slick and Becky dropped the damn thing. There is so much laughter going around the room I can't hear anything. Finally, it makes it back to me and all of us jump up screaming, "We are the condom queens!" loudly.

Rose laughs, "Figures your group would win Swan." She says as she puts some of those Mardi Gras beads over each of us. Fuck yeah!

"I want to be on Bella's team." Alice whines.

Everyone starts laughing and the next thing I hear is a loud pop from one of the balloons. Rose whistles for everyone to be quite.

"Okay… All of these balloons have questions about Bella or Bella & Edward. Whoever answers the question correctly will get beads and at the end of the night the person with the most beads will get a special prize." Rose says as she holds up a gift bag with streamers. God only knows what she has in there.

"Everyone grab a balloon." She says, motioning around the room. "So the first question is…How old was Isabella when she lost her virginity?" Oh God! I glance around the room as everyone starts shouting out ages. 11… really? GEEZ!

"Isabella?" I glance around the room and see that everyone has a balloon in their hand. Oh man! I am in serious trouble.

"Um, oddly enough my mom was right. I lost my virginity when I was 16." People start chuckling, "Yeah, yeah, I know... shocking!" I say sarcastically.

My mom jumps up screaming as Rose places some beads around her neck. Next thing I know Angela pops one of the balloons, giggling.

"What is Bella's favorite sex toy?" Oh GOD! I'm going to KILL Rose.

Alice screeches, "Oh, I know this one. It's a flogger!" She says, bouncing in her seat.

I can't help it as I blush profusely when Esme glances my way. Rose looks at me and I nod shyly, sinking into the seat. Next thing I hear is all of these balloons popping. Man, if I was drunk this would be a lot less embarrassing. One by one people start reading them. Some aren't so bad but some make me want to deck Rose.

"How many times have Edward and Bella had sex at UW?" _five, _Okay, why exactly do you know that Angela?

"Where was Edward and Bella's first date?" _Six Seven_, Hmmm, doesn't that break confidentiality Esme?

"Where was the first public place Bella and Edward had sex? _The pier_, Yeah Alice that was an easy one wasn't it?

"What is Bella's favorite position?" _riding on top_, Becky shrugs and mouths lucky guess.

"What is Edward's nickname for Bella?" _Baby_, Alice again with a smile. Okay she knows Edward way to well.

"Where is Edward and Bella's special place?" _Whidbey Island_, Alice yet again. Well I would hope she remembered that, considering she decorated the place the first time.

"What is Bella's favorite color?" _Blue_, Corinne says proudly, motioning at my ring for evidence.

"Where did Bella go to school?" _Florida State & USC_, well, you better get that right mom.

"What poem did Edward read to Bella?" _Something by Robert Frost_, okay Rachel, I suppose that's good enough.

"What is Bella's favorite food?" _Italian_, Good guess Mary.

By the time we are done my face is completely flushed red. I can't believe some of the questions Rose put in there. We played another couple of embarrassing games, namely the Suck and Blow where we had to suck up mini marshmallows with a straw and drop them in a cup within a certain time frame and the Sucking Nuts game, where Rose put Peanut M&M's in one hand and somebody else has to get on their knees in front of the person and get as many from one hand and placing them in the other hand while using only a straw. And did I mention that Rose in her brilliance got penis straws for everyone? By the time she got to the truth or dare game everyone was giggly and complete and total horn dogs. Poor Captain Pecker! When it was my turn in the Truth or Dare game she looks at me and cocks her brow.

"Truth or Dare Swan?"

"Truth." I say assuredly. I don't trust Rose's dares. Some of the things that she has already had people do are completely insane! This woman is out of control but then again, based on the smirk she now has on her face the dare might have been a safer choice.

"Name your top five sexual encounters with Edward?"

I stare at her, leaning back in the chair as everyone giggles. Oh for crying out loud. Is she serious? She stares at me smirking and I think _yep, she's definitely serious_.

"Come on Bella we already said embarrassing things!" Angela and Rachel say in unison.

"Yeah, Bella. Don't be shy now." Susan says nudging me. "I already gave Captain Pecker head." She says smirking.

I laugh, "Yeah Susan, that's an image that I will need to have burned out of my brain."

"No doubt Susan. That was nasty!" Becky says, shaking her head and laughing. "But that doesn't get you out of it Bella." She says arching her brow.

"Okay, okay, hold on. Let me think for a minute." I take a deep breath and close my eyes, remembering some of mine and Edward's most memorable times together.

_"I am going to blindfold you. Is that okay?"_

_He nods his assent and I take the final scarf and tie it around his eyes and then kiss him again, moving my tongue in his mouth and sucking on his top lip, then his bottom. I could just kiss him all night but I have other plans for this gorgeous man. _

_First, I run my hands over his body. Starting from his long sexy fingers to his wrists, moving down his arms and then over his chest, I start tracing his abs and moving my hands over his hips working towards the hair leading to his cock. I bypass his cock and move my hands over his thighs working towards his ankles and end by going up the arches of his feet to his toes. I then reverse this going from his toes and working my way back up his body to his fingers. He has a smile on his face the entire time I am doing this and is softly humming as I touch him._

_I take the vibrator and put it on my finger and start the same journey that my hands just made followed by gentle kissing and sucking. He starts moaning the minute the vibrator touches him and by the time my mouth is on his body he is writhing underneath me. I smile at the reactions he is having to me because he is about to lose it and I haven't even touched his cock yet._

_Once I am done with his body I bring my hands to where he really wants them. I start moving my fingers first over his balls, gently caressing them in my hands and then moving over to his cock, going up and down and around his length, circling his head and running my finger across his seeping tip. I watch his face as I take the same route with the vibrator and then my mouth._

_"Oh God, Bella, Fuck that feels so good." Hmm, seems he found his voice again._

_I continue to do this over and over again. Every time he arches his back and is on the brink of orgasm I stop and gently breathe over his cock, letting him feel how close I am, letting him know I could touch him, lick him at any moment. I stay like this until his breathing regulates and then I continue again. It is a sweet torture watching as his body responds to me the way that it does. _

_"Bella, God, I need to come. Please!" He says breathing hard._

_I move up over him and take his cock in my hand moving it to my entrance. I move his head inside and then take it out and move it up and over my clit before moving it back inside of me. I do this several times before I finally come down on him completely. I continue to move up and down on him slowly, moving almost completely off of him, leaving only his head inside while moving the vibrator up and around him before coming back down again. I do this over and over until he is begging me again._

_"Bella, Please!" He says between rasping breaths._

_Oh man, he feels so good and looks heavenly as he moans my name and writhes in pleasure underneath me. I just want to savor this moment for as long as I can but I know that he can't take much more. I start to move faster and now as I move up off him I bring the vibrator to myself as well. I know he is so close and that he is trying to hold off until I come. I continue to move up and down, moving the vibrator over the both of us until I am unable to hold off any longer and clench around his glorious cock, giving him permission to release inside of me. He comes hard and long, shivering as he rides out the orgasm that I have been preventing him from having since we got here. Tonight was perfect! He is perfect!_

~tmh~

_God he is so sexy right now, cuffed to the bed, naked and blindfolded. He has no idea what seeing him like this does to me. I quickly move my mouth to his, kissing him fiercely. He starts moaning and tries to reach me but I move away smiling. I grab my warming gel and rub it along his cock and then move close to him, breathing over him and setting his cock on fire before wrapping my mouth around him, sucking him intently._

_"Bella, Oh God!" He says moaning loudly as I push his hips back on the bed._

_"Don't come yet, Edward. Not until I tell you." I say fiercely, "Do you understand?" _

_He nods and arches his hips again. I grin, completely turned on by the way his body is writhing underneath me. I apply the warming gel to his balls and start my assault on him again, allowing my breath to set him on fire and then soothing the heat with my mouth. He continues to buck into me as I allow my tongue to slowly move along the sensitive spot to his ass. _

_"Bella, Oh God, Bella. I…" He cries out desperately._

_I move my mouth away from his balls and start sucking on his right, then left thigh as I push his legs down, holding him in place. I continue using my tongue to wander all around him, tracing along the underside of his cock and circling his head, slipping it into his slit. I watch the strained expression on his face and his chest heave. I smile and bring myself down on him. He is panting and groaning and it looks like he is in pain. He looks like he is about to cry and I finally give him what he has been waiting for since we began._

_"Edward... I give you permission to come."_

_~tmh~_

_"Trust me baby."_

_I reach for the lube in his hand and open it without breaking our kiss. I grab three of his fingers and squirt a generous amount of lube on them. _

_"Start with one finger and work your way to three. Okay?"_

_He nods and I move into position and watch in excitement as he slowly slips one of his long fingers inside of me. I nod and encourage him to insert the other two. I arch slightly, adjusting to his fingers. It's been a while since I have done this. I take a quick breath and smile._

_"Move them around baby, I'm okay."_

_After a few minutes I am ready for him, more so, I need him inside of me. I quickly rip the condom open and begin stroking his magnificent cock, running my thumb along his head before finally putting the condom on him and lavishing him with lube. _

_"I'm ready baby. Just enter slowly, let me adjust to you."_

_He is watching me intently and I know his desire is to just push in but he won't do that. Instead he starts moving in slowly and I tense up for a second before telling him to go more. By the time he is completed seated within me his breathing is all over the place. _

_"Are you okay, sweetheart?" He pants at me._

_"Move in and out of me slowly okay?"_

_"Oh God! You're so… tight… I…I'm going to come to quick."_

_"No you won't baby." _

_He starts moving in and out of me slowly and after a few minutes I bring my vibrator inside of me, moving it all around. He looks down at me and his mouth opens sexily and his eyes sort of glaze over. I bring my bottom lip into my mouth and moan softly as I feel his cock harden inside of me. His breathing becomes erratic so I stop what I am doing, smirking up at him._

_"Do you like that baby?" I ask huskily and he bobs his head crazily. "How close are you?" I ask as I start moving the vibrator again._

_"I am trying to hold off as long as possible but I… I…" He stutters._

_"It's okay baby. You feel good. Now start moving faster. I am going to make myself come."_

_I start moving the vibrator in and out of me while he grunts and groans every time he enters me. I start tapping my walls and his noises get progressively louder and even more intoxicating._

_"Edward, fuck baby… go faster, I love the feel of your cock inside me. I am going to come so hard baby and you're going to fucking explode. It's going to feel so fucking good."_

_I am so close so I start hitting my spot with the vibrator, he isn't going to be able to hold off any longer and I want to come before he does. I want him to experience how good that will feel. Within seconds I am screaming and coming, my muscles squeezing and contracting around him. I look up quickly to see his eyes roll back as he comes, screaming in ecstasy._

_"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god…Bella"_

_~tmh~_

_I grab his hand and lead him out of the frat house and across the street towards the school. I walk him past the benches and over towards one of the buildings. I run up the steps, him close behind me. By the time we reach the top he stops me, dragging me down to the ground. He is kneeling above me and I move slightly so that I am leaning on my elbows._

_"Move closer baby." He obliges, resting his knees on the steps near my shoulders._

_I smile as I run my fingers along the buttons on his jeans. I start unbuttoning them slowly, one at a time, gradually exposing his boxers underneath. I run my fingers along the inside band of his boxer briefs, tugging on his hair. He starts breathing quickly and sets his hands down beside my head. I reach inside his boxers and pull him out, shimming down a little bit so that I am in the right position. I stroke him up and down and then place my mouth around his head, circling it with my tongue. He starts panting as he thrusts forward. I grip his cock tightly and his eyes roll back. I start sucking on his head and sweep my tongue into his slit, while simultaneously squeezing his cock._

_"I… I…" He is panting breathlessly, unable to form any words._

_I continue to suck on his head, swirling my tongue around him, moaning as pre-cum seeps from his tip. I lap it up quickly as he whimpers above me. Oh yeah. I am going to make him come just by sucking on his head. I know he has been close to coming all night so this shouldn't take long. I increase my suction on his perfect head as he tries to thrust into me but I squeeze him hard when he does, causing him to grunt and let out the sexiest whimpering noises. I suck harder on him, nipping at his head as my tongue circles his tip, dipping into his slit again._

_"Bella… I'm… Oh God… coming…" He garbles the last word as his eyes close tightly._

_I let go of his cock and let him thrust into my throat just as he starts coming. He falls down on his arms as his body convulses from his orgasm. I continue to lick and suck around his cock as his breathing slowly comes back to normal. After a few moments he pulls away from my mouth and positions himself so that he can kiss me._

_"I swear you are going to kill me one day." He whispers against me, smiling widely._

_I grin at him as he moves his hand up my thigh. He smiles at me and moves my panties aside, slipping two of his fingers inside of me. He pumps into me a few times and then brings his fingers to his lips. My mouth parts as I watch him suck on his long, sensuous fingers. He smirks deliciously at me and then glances around quickly before hiking up my skirt and pulling my panties down. He brings his mouth to my hot center and blows on me as I arch my hips up to him._

_"Move to the edge of the step." He tells me, his voice hoarse with need._

_I do as he says and he moves down one step, moving his hands along my thighs, spreading my legs. He starts kissing my thighs, sucking on my flesh as I move my fingers to my clit, desperate to come. He grins against my thigh and places his hands on mine, stopping my movement. He looks up at me and smiles naughtily, batting those long lashes of his as he circles my clit with his tongue. He holds my hands to my side and I involuntarily arch into him as my eyes flutter closed._

_"Edward" I whimper erratically._

_He continues to circle my clit, teasing me with that fantastic tongue of his. He slowly moves his tongue through my folds, entering me__, sending goose bumps __across my skin. I am moaning and panting loudly, holding nothing back. He has a firm grip on my hands making sure I can't move them as he whips his tongue in and out of me. I am in an erotic frenzy as I buck into him, close, so very close to my release. I want to grab his hair to force his mouth onto me harder but he is holding me in place which is turning me on more than I would like to admit._

_"Oh God Edward... Make me come, make me come, make me come!" I scream out to him, unable to control the volume or intensity of my voice as I move my head from side to side frantically._

_He growls against me as his tongue sweeps against my walls, he moves his mouth over more of me, nipping at my folds, and sucking my swollen nub into his mouth. Oh God! He is too much; my body is vibrating as he continues to move his perfect mouth all over me, until I am screaming in ecstasy. He continues to suck on me as my body falls limp underneath him. _

_~tmh~_

_He looks up at me with those striking green eyes of his and I smirk as I step away from him in search of his undershirt. He won't need that. I find it near the stage and walk over to him, using it to clean off the semen from his stomach. I quickly take off my clothes and move so that my breast is in front of his mouth. He darts his tongue out to lick it but I pull back slightly, bringing my thumb and forefinger to my nipple, pinching and twisting it. I trace it along his lips but this time he doesn't do anything until I give him permission._

_"Open." I say gruffly._

_He does as he's told and takes my nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking and then moving the tip of his tongue into my ring and tugging it. I groan, feeling the sensation all the way to my groin. I move my nipple out of his mouth and bring my other nipple to him. He looks up at me and I nod. He then begins the same pattern. I grab his hair with both of my hands, forcing him to look up at me._

_"Make me come." I demand._

_I stand up throwing my right leg over his shoulder and wrapping it around the pole. I bring my pussy close to his mouth and he darts his tongue out, lapping all around my clit and folds, moaning loudly the entire time. I move my other leg around his shoulder as well and grip onto the pole for balance. I then lean back and get into a better position so that he can stick his tongue inside of me. He doesn't hesitate as his tongue quickly moves inside my entrance, circling in and out of me and then darting out again to sweep across my clit. I am so keyed up from his little show that it doesn't take long for him to make me come. I scream out and instinctually push against his mouth, he continues sucking on me feverishly while I writhe against him, riding out my orgasm._

_I pull off of him and straddle his lap again, seeing that he is already coming back to life. I reach down and start stroking him, rubbing him against my sex as he moans. I turn around so that my back is against him and ease onto his waiting cock. We both groan when he enters me. I move up and down on him slowly and then bring my hands to his sexy legs. I am resting on my knees and then lean forward slightly. His cock moves partly out of me and then I start moving back and forth, my hands griping onto his legs tightly. He is moaning and without even looking at him I can tell he is straining. This is a tough position for a man as his cock isn't meant to bend this way but fuck it, it feels too fucking good. I give him a chance to adjust and then when his breathing normalizes I start moving again back and forth. Oh yeah. This is one of those pleasure pain things I am always telling him about._

_I know he wants to say something but he knows he can't which is so fucking sexy. I do this several more times and then sit back up and move up and down on him fast. I move my hand down to where we are joined and further still until I am cupping his balls. He starts panting and I know he needs to come but I'm not ready yet. I lean against his chest and lay my feet flat on either side of him, moving up and down. I bring both of my hands to my breasts and start squeezing and pinching on my nipples, our moans rising in volume over Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back which by the way was the perfect song for him to choose._

_"You may come." I state, giving him permission._

_He cries out arching his hips up as I bring my fingers to my swollen clit. I run my fingers across it a couple of times and come again just as he releases inside of me. His body tenses as we ride out our orgasms and then he falls limp underneath me. I have to turn around to see that sexy fucking look on his face before I will be completely satisfied. I lift off of him and as I turn around. I see it! The eyes barely open, the mouth parted ever so slightly and the gentle sighing. That's my sex look. That's the look that tells me I took him to another dimension._

_~tmh~_

_"Well, my lady, commence with the torture as I will not tell you where it is hidden."_

_I smile as I pick up my flogger and get on the bed behind him. I bring the flogger against his back in four quick movements and watch as his body arches away from me. I smirk and bring the rabbit fur over the marks I just made and then gently run my tongue over them as well. I then reach my hand between his legs, gripping his cock through his pants as he swivels his hips, looking for some kind of friction. I quickly move my fingers to the waistband of his pants and in one movement they are bunched around his ankles. I move my body close to his and wrap my hands around his cock and his balls, squeezing and stroking him while he moans sexily._

_I smile at the sounds he is making and after a moment move away from him picking up my flogger and running my hands over the leather strands. Now's the fun part. I hit him twice on the ass then bring the fur to him followed by my tongue. I then hit him again on his back and ass but a little harder than the first time. I do this several more times, my strokes getting harder with each swipe of the flogger. His back and ass are a beautiful shade of pink and just sexy as hell and fuck if I don't need to feel him inside of me. I am so fucking wet right now and find myself kneeling in front of his ass kissing and sucking on him, breathing heavily as my mouth traces the marks I put on him. I get up quickly and move in front of him, bringing the flogger to his chest. He is breathing heavily, watching me intently. God I need to fuck him so bad._

_"Where's my gold?"_

_He shakes his head at me and my lips twist up as I hit him hard on his tight stomach. He flinches but before he can say anything I am sucking his cock, running my teeth roughly over his shaft. I look up at him and swirl my tongue around his slit as he moans, his face twisting in pleasure._

_"Then I will have to fuck my gold's worth out of you… You will give me what I want, Captain Edward." I say, nibbling on his head._

_I stand up and hit him twice across his chest before twisting and pulling on his barbells. I then hit him again, harder, before bringing my mouth first to his right and then left nipple, sucking and nibbling on them as he writhes against me. I step back, flushed from excitement and hit him a couple of times on that fuck hot stomach of his and then see a panicked look on his face. SHIT! I drop to my knees quickly, enveloping his cock just as he starts coming. I look up at him furious._

_"You came before you were told."_

_I stand up and raise the flogger. He stares at me, his chest heaving, there is panic and fear in his eyes and I hesitate for a moment, moving my hand down to my side. I am breathing heavily, rushed with adrenaline but I don't know what to do. He needs to be punished! He knows he can't do that without permission. He knows better! But…_

_"I should punish you for that."_

_He looks confused for a moment and then shifts his hips at me, nudging the flogger. I look down at my hand and look back up smirking. Well alright then. I hit him twice more, once across each of his thighs. I snatch the fur up and bring it along where I just hit him and then start licking and sucking on him. I drop the flogger and quickly undo the shackles. I need to fuck him… right now._

_"Move onto the bed." _

_He tries to step out of his pants but he is wobbly and it takes a few minutes before he haphazardly climbs onto the bed. I run my hands up his thighs and then bring his flaccid cock in my mouth, sucking on his head lightly and grin when he starts twitching. I push him back towards the headboard and then force him down as far as he can go. His ass is not touching the bed so he has to sit in a squatting position with his feet planted on the bed. I smile at him as I remove my costume with the exception of my boots. I smirk and then crawl over to him and grab his cock in my hand, squeezing it tightly before letting it go._

_"I am going to fuck you now, Captain Edward, but you are not allowed to come. If you do I will punish you, severely. Do you understand?"_

_He does that bobble head nod of his and I smile as I reach over for my supplies on the nightstand. When I turn back to him his cock is happily bouncing in anticipation. Oh yes, baby! I sit on the bed in front of him, bending my knees and spreading my legs._

_"Do you want this?" I say as I run the tip of the vibrator from my clit to my ass. "Or should I take care of myself?" I say, arching my brow at him._

_He groans loudly as I squeeze lube on the vibrator and insert it inside my ass. I pump it inside of me a few times before stopping, removing it and leaning up to kiss him deeply, while my hand strokes his ever hardening length. I slip the condom on him and squeeze a generous amount of lube on his cock. I smile and then turn around, bringing his cock inside of me. I begin moving slowly up and down on him while he moans and groans relentlessly. I pick up my pace and bring my vibrator first to my nipples and then my clit, repeating this pattern until I am coming. He screams out loudly when my muscles constrict around him and I know that he is desperate to come but… I also know that he won't. He won't make that mistake again._

_"Not yet." I say through gritted teeth just in case._

_I move up and down on him a few more torturous times and then pull off of him, turning around and ripping the condom off. I quickly come down on his throbbing cock wrapping my legs around him, forcing his body down as far as he is capable and moving swiftly up and down. I grab his face and start kissing him wildly. I know he is hurting, not just from needing to come but also from the unusual position he is in which is pulling on his wrists. And of course since this is the first time he has been flogged it is painful which is preventing him from leaning back against the headboard. But, he hasn't used the safe word so he must be okay. I continue fucking him hard and when I think he can't take anymore I whisper to him._

_"Come."_

_And he does, for a long time and when my own orgasm takes me he comes some more. _

"Earth to Bella!" Alice says all innocently.

"Um… yeah, sorry… okay top five." I glance at Esme feeling a little self-conscious about talking about this in front of her.

"I think it's time I hit the ladies room." She says with a smile, standing up and then tapping me on the shoulder, "Isabella, go on." She says before walking away, giving me permission to just go for it and I already feel 100% better.

"Um… Let's see…Top Five would be the first time I tied him up after the club, then a tie between the time I cuffed him to the bed & our romp on the steps at UW on the Fourth, then the first time I let him go in my back door on his birthday, then his striptease in that fuck hot chocolate suit and subsequent bondage to the stripper pole on my birthday, and my all-time favorite, so far, was when I shackled and flogged him last Halloween." I say confidently.

Everyone is staring at me. My mom has her mouth wide open, Esme's fundraising friends have a look of shock on their faces, Rachel and Angela are the color of a tomato and my girls from the hospital are just shaking their heads, smirking. And Alice, well she already knows about it all anyway so nothing I say shocks her anymore. Finally… Rose just laughs, breaking the silence in the room. Was that too much detail? They wanted to know.

"That's my girl!" She says putting another set of beads around my neck.

"Is it hot in here or what?" Charlotte says, fanning herself.

By the time Esme returns we are all laughing and joking around as we begin messing with all the crazy party favors Rose got us. My phone buzzes and I look down grinning when I see that Edward is texting me.

*****Are you having fun? E*****

*****I'd be having more fun if you were here. B*****

*****I can't wait until tomorrow. E*****

*****Me too! I am so wet for you right now. B*****

*****I need to be inside of you so bad right now. E*****

*****I need to feel you inside of me. B*****

I feel the dampness in my panties as desire courses through me. God! How long before this ends. I move awkwardly in my seat, trying to pay attention to what is happening around me. I excuse myself thinking maybe I need to throw some cold water on my face and just as I turn the water on in the bathroom I hear the door open and close and then feel Edward's arms around my waist. I look up at him in the mirror and smile.

"What are you doing here?" I start to turn around but he stops me. "I thought you were at your bachelor party?"

"I told you I needed to be inside of you." He whispers sexily against my ear, grinding against my ass, "I ditched them and snuck in the house." He says with a wink.

I close my eyes as he moves his hands underneath my top. "Uh uh, baby… Open your eyes."

I do as he requests and watch as he moves my breasts out of my bra. We are both watching ourselves in the mirror as he tweaks and pulls on my nipples. I move my hands behind us, cupping his ass and pushing him further against me and feel his erection straining in his jeans. He slowly caresses my body and pulls my skirt up, ripping my panties off of me. My eyes darken as I watch the look of lust in his eyes as he inserts three fingers inside of me.

"Oh, honey… you are so ready for me aren't you?"

"I'm always ready for you baby." I say with need.

"Do you want to watch me fucking you?" He says pulling his fingers out and bringing them into his mouth, sucking on them slowly.

"Oh God… yes, Fuck yes!" I say as my eyes start fluttering.

He smiles and drops his pants and boxers. He is holding his cock in his hand and smiling at me as he moves his hand up and down his shaft. "I have been this hard since you left."

He runs his hand down my back and pushes me forward. He gently moves his cock over my lower back and then my ass before spreading my thighs and entering me.

"I'm sorry baby but this is going to be fast, I am so keyed up." He says swallowing hard.

"It's okay, baby… but fuck me… hard!" I pant as I watch his eyes loll back.

He grabs the back of my hair and pulls my head back so that I can see us in the mirror and then wraps his other hand around my hip. I quickly grab onto the ledge of the counter and watch as his muscles tighten and his face contorts, his cock moving quickly in and out of me.

"Faster baby... Oh God, faster." I stutter between ragged breaths.

He grips my hair tighter and picks up his pace, grunting with every stroke he makes. My mind and body are on fire watching him, watching us. Our moans and grunts are mixing together into a perfect lustful melody, as we approach our much needed release. He was right, this is going to be fast because we both are desperate for each other. I think we have both been on the cusp of orgasm for hours now. I watch as his whole body stiffens and he literally cries out when he comes. He continues to pump into me a few more times and I come hard around his slowly deflating cock, making his whole body twitch and shudder in response. I continue to watch as he kisses my back lightly and then wraps both hands around my waist bringing me on the ground with him, our bodies still connected. I let out a soft breath and lean back against his chest, resting my head against his shoulder as he moves his fingers lovingly over my body. I turn my head to the side, capturing his mouth with mine.

"You know you're supposed to be OUT with the boys Edward, not here fucking the bride to be." Rose says through the door.

We ignore her, continuing to kiss each other as he moves his hand to my clit, rubbing me there and then where we are connected. I moan in his mouth, bringing my hand over his, entwining our fingers so that the two of us are simultaneously touching where we are joined. We then hear Alice giggle as they presumably turn around, heading towards the others.

"Give me my beads. I told you he would ditch the boys and come here!" Alice says excitedly.

"Fine! You win the damn prize but do you even know what to do with a sparkly pink vibrator?" Rose says matter of fact.

"I know more than you give me credit for." Is Alice's quick retort. "A lot more."

And that's the last thing we hear as they head back to the party while I continue to kiss my soon to be husband, the father of my child, and the love of my life. Knowing that I will never feel better than I do when he is holding me, and praying that our love and desire for one another will always be this way. I feel his cock twitching within me and know I am gonna get at least one more time before they make him leave. I am sure the boys are already on the way. Well, I better make it a good one!

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><p><strong>AN…. Is it hot in here? Okay, this chapter is completely Chris' (kalinca62) fault…LOL…I hope you all enjoyed the montage to sexy times. Picking those scenes was probably the hardest thing I have done in a long time…LOL… Soooooo, what is YOUR top five E&B sexy times?**

**Expect another outtake next week and as always hit me up with a review.**


	10. Outtake: Bella's Pregnancy

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**This outtake is dedicated to all the people who asked about the pregnancy. Now, I am trying something a little different with this outtake. Since I wanted to get a few different viewpoints I have decided to write this chapter in third person instead of my usual first person narrative. It was a little odd for me but I think it turned out okay but you all will be the judge of that...LOL... Now the song for this outtake is one of my favorites by Maxwell and I thought it fit the chapter really well. Just remember you already know it works out ok :-)**

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><p>Pray God You Can Cope, I'll Stand Outside<br>This Woman's Work, This Woman's Worth  
>Ooh, It's Hard On A Man… Now His Part Is Over<br>Now Starts The Craft... Of The Father

I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet  
>I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left<br>I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet  
>I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left<p>

I Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show,  
>I Should Hoping But I Can't Stop Thinking,<br>All The Things We Should've Said That I Never Said,  
>All The Things We Should Have Done That We Never Did,<br>All The Things We Should've Given But I Didn't,  
>Oh Darling, Make It Go, Make It Go Away<br>Give Me These Moments,  
>Give Them Back... To Me,<br>Give Me A Little Kiss, Give Me Your...

I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet… Give Me Your Hand Babe,  
>I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left… Give Me Your Pretty Hand,<br>I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet… Ooh My,  
>I Know You've Got A lot Of Strength Left… Your Love Child,<br>I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet… Whatever You Need Baby,  
>I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left… Give Me Your Hand,<br>I Know You've Got A Little Life In You Yet… Give Me Your Hand Babe  
>I Know You've Got A Lot Of Strength Left<p>

I Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show Baby,  
>I Should Be Hoping But I Can't Stop Thinking,<br>Of All The Things We Should've Said That We Never Said,  
>All The Things We Should Have Done That We Never Did,<br>All The Things That You Wanted From Me,  
>All The Things That You Needed From Me,<br>All The Things We Should Have Given But I Didn't,  
>Oh Darling Make It Go Away Now,<br>Just Make It Go Away.

This Woman's Work by Maxwell

**Outtake: Robert Jordan Cullen**

"Dr. Swan, are you okay?" Becky asked concerned.

Bella hadn't been feeling well for the past few days. She was unaccustomed to being sick so the thought actually angered her. _I have no time to be sick_.

"I'm fine. I think I must have gotten a bad Caramel Macchiato."

"Well, that would be a first." Becky said amused.

"I mean, you know, bad milk or something." Bella replied, just wanting to be alone.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ Bella sat down on the couch in the doctor's lounge, thinking maybe if she just closed her eyes and got her bearings that she would feel better and not have to get another surgeon to take her place. She prided herself on being the best and most reliable surgeon on staff. Since her return she hadn't missed a single day. Dr. Meyers had told her she could take more time if she wanted it but she had refused. She closed her eyes, taking several deep and cleansing breaths.

"What's the matter Swan?" Her best friend inquired, sitting down next to her. "You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks, Rose." Bella didn't bother to open her eyes, she knew Rose would just have her brow cocked, waiting for some smart ass remark to escape her lips. Bella was not in the mood today.

"How long have you felt sick?" Rose said with a different tone, she was all nurse now as she touched her forehead.

"I just ate something that isn't agreeing with me." Bella said leaning down and hugging her knees, praying that the nausea would soon pass.

"Holy shit! You're pregnant." The minute Rose uttered those words Isabella had a sinking feeling. _No!_ She raised her head quickly, glaring at her friend.

"No, I'm not. I just ate something."

"Yeah, Edward." She said wagging her brows.

"I'm a doctor Rose." Bella said as explanation.

"And… what… doctors can't get pregnant?"

"I think I would know if I were pregnant."

"Hmm, I doubt that." Rose said standing up, "Come on Swan. Let's go see if Edward knocked you up."

Bella anxiously awaited the results of her lab work. Rose had assured her that she would be discreet but there was a part of her that doubted this. What would this mean for her should she be pregnant so soon. Bella feared she wasn't ready. She had barely agreed to try to become pregnant but had secretly hoped that she wouldn't need to worry about it for a while. In hindsight she realized how stupid that was considering how often she and Edward had sex. The odds were in his favor. It was inevitable. She nervously chewed on her bottom lip as Rose walked back into the room, imploring her with her eyes to tell her the results were negative and that she had a case of the stomach flu.

"Positive… Congratulations." Rose said hesitantly, seeing the look of fear on her friends face. She pulled her into a hug allowing her to cry on her shoulder. "It's okay Bella. You will be a much better mother than your mom was and Edward is going to be ecstatic."

Bella knew without a doubt that Edward would be a fantastic father. That he would be happy about this news was an understatement. Rose was right about one thing, he would definitely be ecstatic. But she wasn't so sure that bad mothering wasn't somehow genetic. What if she really fucked things up with this child? What if this child inherited her negative characteristics? Bella quickly wiped her eyes.

"Thank you Rose. Don't say anything to anyone okay? I am going to tell Dr. Meyers that I'm going to head home. My head is spinning. I need to think."

"Isabella. It will be alright. I promise." Rose tried to reassure her but she could see that she wasn't being successful. Bella offered her a half smile before walking out of the room.

Rose understood her hesitation but shit happens and Bella just needed to accept it. She personally could not wait to have children. Emmett wanted a houseful and somehow the thought of a houseful of children with Emmett seemed like the right thing to do. He was the best man she had ever met. He treated her like a queen and she knew without a doubt that he was the one she would spend the rest of her life with. No one else got her like he did. And when you meet someone who understands you at a core level like that you just don't question it. You just give thanks that you found each other.

~TMH~

Bella sat in her car until it was close to noon. She knew that Esme always took her lunch break at that time and would be free. She hated to disrupt her day like that but she needed to talk and Dr. Jackson was out of town and she certainly didn't want to talk to the other therapist that was handling emergencies for Dr. Jackson. It was nothing against the woman it's just she wouldn't understand what she was feeling, not like Esme. The elevator opened and Bella strolled over to Dr. Masen's receptionist.

"Can I speak to Dr. Masen for a moment?"

"I'm sorry, she is at lunch. Is this an emergency?" Liz asked. She hated to interrupt the doctor's lunch. Dr. Masen always gave so much to everyone; Liz felt that someone had to look out for her.

"Please, can you tell her Bella needs to talk to her for a moment?" Bella felt a panic envelop her. What if she misjudged the time and she was already gone. _Oh God. I need to see her! _Bella could feel the heat rushing to her face and the butterflies swirling in a massive swarm in her stomach.

Liz saw the panic on the young woman's face and motioned for her to sit down. She then brought over a glass of water which the young woman took. Bella took only a sip before setting it down on the table nearest her. Liz excused herself and walked back into the doctor's office, seeing her eating her lunch and doing notes. _Always working._ She works way too hard. Dr. Masen looked up and offered Liz a smile.

"Dr. Masen. I hate to disturb your lunch but there is a Bella in the waiting room. She would like to speak to you. She seems upset."

"Oh my. Well, go to lunch Liz. It's okay. Bella is Edward's fiancé. I'll see her."

Oh, that makes sense. Liz suddenly remembered that this was the woman that was hurt by that maniac. _I hope everything is okay_. Both women walked out into the waiting room and Esme realized immediately that something wasn't right. She walked over to Bella who looked completely distressed. She was sitting in the chair with her head in her lap and her hands in her hair. Bella didn't hear Esme approach and only looked up when she sat down next to her.

"Is everything okay Bella?" Esme asked with concern.

Bella shook her head vehemently, "I know you're busy but Dr. Jackson is gone and I just need to talk to someone who understands me. Please."

Esme put her arm around her, "Oh Bella. You can always come and see me. Let's go to my office so we can have some privacy, okay?"

Bella wiped her eyes, nodding and already felt better knowing in her heart that Esme would help her. Esme was nervous as they walked back to her office, worry for her son invaded every thought. What could be happening that has Isabella crying in the waiting room without Edward here? Could they have gotten into an argument? She doubted that. They never fought. As they entered the office Bella immediately walked over to the window and looked out like she used to so long ago when she was Esme's patient.

Bella watched as the people walked by below her. She wondered how Esme might respond to her news. _Am I wrong for feeling this way?_ Bella began to think that maybe she was exaggerating things. Her head was spinning again and she rested it on the cool glass, closing her eyes, visions of a bronze haired boy running alongside his father floated in her head. That wouldn't be so bad would it? She felt a hand on her shoulder and glanced at Esme's concerned face.

"I'm pregnant." Bella stated softly.

Esme couldn't help but smile and then took a deep breath, realizing why Bella was here. She was not happy about the pregnancy. She most likely felt she wouldn't be a good enough mother, old insecurities resurfacing.

"You're not Renee." Dr. Masen said watching as tears started falling down Bella's cheek.

"What if I am?" Bella whispered.

"Why do you think you are?" Dr. Masen questioned further.

Bella turned her back against the window and slid down so that she was sitting on the floor. She pondered Dr. Masen's question and at that precise moment she realized exactly why she was like her mom and it made her heart break into tiny pieces, the tears flooding out of her eyes as if a faucet had been turned on full blast. Esme sat down next to her and cradled her in her arms, gently stroking her hair and letting her cry. Bella cried for a good five minutes, in fact she cried so hard that she actually threw up, all over Esme.

"Oh God, Oh God. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Esme. Oh God!" Bella cried in a panic.

"Isabella go sit on the couch, let me clean this up. It will only be a minute. I promise." Esme said reassuringly to her distraught future daughter in law.

As Bella moved to the couch, Esme walked behind her desk and pulled out some clothes from her gym bag. _Thank goodness I planned on exercising after work today_. She walked to the bathroom to wash up and change into a matching workout suit and her New Balance sneakers. Bella watched her walk out of the room feeling horrible_. Great! I just threw up on my future mother in law_. Bella was starting to wonder just how bad this day was actually going to get.

When Esme walked back in she was dressed in a pink and blue warm up suit with her hair pulled back into a loose braid. She sat down next to Bella on the couch, facing her.

"Will you tell me what that was about?"

Bella moved to face Esme, "I remembered how angry I was at my mom for abandoning me and I realized that I would do the exact same thing. Edward means more to me than anything. I am capable of abandoning my child as well. I am no different than her." When it looked like Dr. Masen wasn't following her logic she let out an exacerbated breath, "Don't you see? I would choose Edward over my child, in a heartbeat!"

Bella lowered her head, not wanting to face Esme's kind and warm eyes. She felt unworthy of them. She suddenly felt unworthy of someone like Edward as well. He deserved so much better than her and she felt the tears come down her face again.

"Your feelings for Edward are very intense. It is natural to think that you could not possibly feel that strongly for the life you carry inside of you but you will and when it happens you will be filled with so much love that it will overpower you."

"That didn't happen with my mom." Bella said disheartened, "I am going to be a horrible mother. I should have never agreed to try. Edward deserves so much more than me. This baby deserves so much more than what I can give."

"That's the old Bella talking." Dr. Masen said, touching her face and gently forcing her to look up. "Those old feelings are coming up because you are feeling insecure and unsure of how you should respond. But Isabella, you are not that woman anymore."

Bella blinked a few times trying to absorb what Dr. Masen was telling her. She always felt unworthy of love, especially Edwards, but over time that had started to shift for her. She realized that Edward had indeed loved her, faults and all, and he wants a child. He has told her this and although she didn't feel ready she had agreed to try. After all he has given to her, she just couldn't deny him. Dr. Masen could see that Bella was contemplating and knew she needed to act quickly to reassure her that what she was feeling was normal.

"Besides Isabella, many women do not bond with their babies until later in the pregnancy. Sometimes it's when they hear the heartbeat or they feel the first kick and then all of a sudden it becomes real." Dr. Masen continued with a smile.

"Really?" Bella asked hopeful.

"Yes, really." Esme said smiling, "And with as much love as you and Edward have for one another you can't possibly go wrong as parents." Esme watched as a slow smile came over Bella's face. "Plus, you have so many people around who care about the two of you. I for one can't wait to be a grandma, plus Alice, can you imagine."

Bella smiled widely thinking about a bubbly Alice doting on her niece or nephew, buying them anything they wanted and spoiling them rotten. Well, their child would definitely not want of love or support. Bella took a few steadying breaths before nodding at Esme.

"I need to tell Edward." Bella said with purpose. She glanced at the clock in Dr. Masen's office realizing he had a lunch break coming up before his last class. "Thank you Esme."

And with that Bella jumped up quickly, heading out the door. Esme leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes remembering how Carlisle had been so distraught when they found out they were having a boy. He had been in a panic that he would turn out to be like his father which he didn't of course. Carlisle had given 100% to the family, always putting their needs in front of his own. She was sure that Bella would do the same. A smile crossed her face as she let out a small chuckle. _I'm going to be a grandma._

~TMH~

Bella rushed to the Greek restaurant Edward liked nearby and grabbed them both some lunch before heading over to UW. She had debated whether she should tell him there or at home but her anxiety was too great to not tell him right away. She wasn't sure she bought Esme's words 100% but for now she felt empowered and figured she should strike before her mood shifted and darkened once again.

Edward saw her approaching and his day brightened tenfold at seeing her smiling face. He wondered why she was here and not at the hospital but he pushed that aside and wrapped her in his arms once she was in front of him.

"This is a pleasant surprise." He said bringing his lips to hers.

Bella loved the feel of his lips against her and any lingering doubt she had was washed away. She knew that no matter what happened he would be there and would hold her up if need be. They stood there in their embrace as people walked around them. Realizing where he was Edward pulled away from her, tapping his forehead to hers.

"We should go to my office." Edward said softly recognizing that he needed to maintain some form of decorum at his workplace. He was no longer a student here and needed to remember to carry himself in a professional manner. He wrapped his arm around her waist as he walked her to the office he shared with Professor Walker.

"I brought us gyros and fries." She said with a smile, knowing how much he liked the gyros at Aladdin's.

"Mmm. It smells delicious." He said pulling the sandwiches out of the bag and setting them on the napkins.

Bella looked at hers and realized she wasn't that hungry and just the smell of the lamb and onions was starting to make her sick to her stomach. She was really going to need to think twice about the food she selected. As she stared at her gyro she fretted on what to do. She didn't want to get sick again. Edward moaned in delight after his first bite. It was only after he had finished half of his gyro that he glanced at Bella and saw she didn't look so good.

"Baby, are you alright?" He asked with his mouth half full.

Bella grinned at his terminology and waited until he swallowed before she began talking again.

"Yes, it's just a little morning sickness." Bella said knowing he would pick up quickly what she was saying.

Edward stopped mid-bite, glancing at his fiancé who was wearing a knowing smirk on her face. Did he hear her correctly? Did she just say morning sickness? He set his gyro down and stared across at her.

"Did you just say morning sickness?" Edward choked out.

"Yes I did. Edward I'm pregnant." Bella couldn't help but smile when his whole face lit up.

"You're pregnant?" He said between giggles, his eyes shone brighter than she had ever seen them before and his whole demeanor was that of a man completely and utterly happy. He was ecstatic, to put it mildly.

Edward practically leaped over the table to get to her, in desperate need to hold her. His hunger subsided at the mere thought of having a child with Bella. She had been so resistant before and only recently agreed to stop getting the shot. He knew that she had only agreed because he had mentioned how important having children was to him but he didn't care at this point. His lips crashed onto hers with purpose as he held her as close to him as possible. Their feverish reaction to one another almost instantaneous as she quickly moved her hands to unbutton his pants. Bella quickly unzipped his khakis and slipped her hand in to stroke him before he had a chance to stop her. Not that he would.

Edward pulled away quickly, staring into her lust filled eyes before leaping off the couch and around a chair to lock the door so they wouldn't be disturbed. He quickly dropped his slacks and boxers, remembering her teasing him that he always had his pants on when they had sex on campus. By the time he got back to her she had also removed her jeans and panties and was pulling her shirt over her head.

Edward reflexively licked his lips before capturing her perky breasts in his mouth, sucking and playing with her rings, reveling in how her body responded to him. He pushed the table away from them and dropped to his knees, licking and sucking around her clit as she spread her legs for him. He quickly darted his tongue inside her, feeling her walls flex around him and hearing her moan in delight. He loved the way she tasted and would never tire of pleasuring her this way.

"Mmm, Edward." She moaned, closing her eyes while her hands gripped on to his hair tightly.

Bella knew she would come quickly. He knew just how to please her, where to move his tongue, where every one of her points of desire were on her body. As if on cue, Edward moved his thumb over her clit while whipping his tongue inside of her and she crumbled before him. And as was typically the case she felt him enter her before she had a chance to come down from her orgasm.

Edward loved the feeling of her walls tightening around him and the warm slickness washing over his manhood when he entered her quickly after she came. It always made him want to cry because it felt so good. He fit her so perfectly, every time felt like the first as he moved in and out of her slowly. He pulled her closer to the edge of the couch and repositioned her so that he could enter her deeply, hitting that spot within her that he knew would send her over the edge again. Her eyes shot open, dark and wanting, her breath ragged. He smirked knowing he was exactly where he wanted to be.

"Do you like that baby?" He said running his tongue over his lips.

Her mouth parted but no words came out, just a deep guttural growl emanating from the back of her throat. A sound that immediately shot to his groin as he quickly moved in and out of her, causing his cock to pulse continuously. She threw her head back and moaned through ragged breaths as her walls tightened around him just as he released within her. The two of them, coming simultaneously, their bodies shaking and convulsing until finally stilling as their passion slowly began to subside. Edward reluctantly pulled out of her, resting back on his knees as he grabbed one of the napkins from the table to clean off his beloved. When he had finished he laid his head on her leg while she gently stroked his hair. They sat this way for several minutes before Bella decided to break the ice.

"I guess this means we should probably get married. I don't know if it's vain or not but I'd like to actually fit in my wedding gown plus I really would like to be married before the baby is born." Bella said quickly, wondering how he would react to this revelation considering she hadn't wanted to set a wedding date either.

"Today is the best day of my life." Edward whispered as he kissed her thigh and then looked up at her lovingly. Bella smiled and cupped his face, knowing that things would work out. If she just let it.

~TMH~

The first few months of Bella's pregnancy had been difficult. It was as if she had become a poster child for Bipolar Disorder. One day she would feel on top of the world and the next day she would feel devastated and insecure. She had upped her therapy to twice a week to help her manage her unpredictable mood swings as she had stopped taking all anti-depressants. She had looked up the side effects of her medications and even though the chances were minimal Bella had decided that she was not taking any chances. She reasoned that with her luck something bad would definitely happen. The side effect of this decision was that she was now riding an emotional roller coaster that she was desperate to get off of.

Edward had spoken to his mother several times during the first trimester. In fact he talked to her daily about how he should handle Bella. He was desperate to know how to help her get through this as he couldn't bear the thought of losing her in any way. His mother had reassured him that Bella's responses were normal. That often women are moody and unpredictable in the earlier stages of their pregnancies but that this gets better by the second trimester. But Edward being Edward had decided to research even further. He read continuously anything and everything on fatherhood and pregnancy.

Edward sighed when he walked into the living room as he knew this was one of those bad days. He quickly glanced around the room trying to take in what happened. He set his bags down near the door and gasped when he saw his beautiful Bella sitting lifelessly on the couch.

"Honey... What's going on?" Edward inquired, sitting down next to her.

"I don't want to do this anymore." Bella said.

"Do what baby?" Edward asked in his best soothing voice. He could see that she had been crying. The house was a mess and as he looked around again he could tell that she had thrown one of her epic tantrums.

"Be pregnant." She sobbed, "I can't do this." She placed her head between her knees, her back heaving as she cried violently.

Edward took a deep breath and moved her hair out of the way so that he could massage her back and shoulders. Gradually her breathing slowed down and he picked her up, bringing her into the bedroom and laying her on the bed. She immediately curled into a ball, just as she did when he found her after she met his parents. He kicked his shoes off and then removed his shirt and pants, sliding in behind her, letting his body mold to hers.

Bella had felt it coming on all day. The dread and anxiety was building. She had been flooded with memories of her mom and being alone. By the time she got home she was tired and exhausted and had decided to lie down and rest before she started dinner for Edward. That's when she had been awoken from a horrible nightmare. She felt her body shudder thinking about it.

_Bella looked around and saw that she was in her apartment. She could hear a baby crying but did not see a baby anywhere near her. She anxiously started searching all over the house, quickly running into the bedroom, looking in the crib. Nothing! She was becoming frantic as the babies cries became more desperate. She began crying as she searched everywhere. _

"_Where could he be?" Bella thought._

_She returned to the living room and looked around to no avail. Then she realized that the cries were louder towards the kitchen. That's odd! As she started walking around the kitchen she recognized that the baby must be somewhere in there._

"_Why would a baby be in the kitchen?" She wondered._

_She felt a panic envelop her body and soul as she quickly started throwing cabinet doors open but couldn't find the baby anywhere, until she glanced down, seeing one place she hadn't looked yet… her trash bin. _

Bella had woken up startled and confused and immediately ran into the kitchen, lifting the trash lid to make sure. She felt tears flood down her cheeks as she started sobbing trying to figure out why she would possibly dream something so horrible. Without thinking she began throwing things in the house, whatever wasn't nailed down was getting tossed. She was in a rage, angry at herself, angry at her mother, angry at the world. When she had finally become so exhausted that she couldn't move anymore she ended up on the couch, slouched in defeat, until Edward got home and carried her to their bed. She could feel Edward's steady breaths touching her, his heart beating against her back and was immediately soothed by it. He didn't say anything, he never did, he just held her until she was ready to talk.

"I dreamed that I threw away our baby." Bella said with trepidation.

She felt him stiffen and then pull her tighter to him. If he could have enveloped her within himself he would have. He would have done anything to take away the pain and suffering that she was feeling right now.

"You would never do that sweetheart. I know you would never harm our child." Edward said believing his words absolutely.

Tears filled her eyes, dropping on the bed. "I could hear him crying and looked everywhere but I couldn't find him. Then I looked in the one place I hadn't checked. How can you love someone who would dream what I did?" She said, her voice quivering.

"Isabella. I will never stop loving you and I believe with all my heart that you will be a wonderful mother." He could feel her chest heaving. He laid a soft chaste kiss on her shoulder before continuing "My mom says that when we are having nightmares it's just our minds twisted way of sorting things out. I think your nightmare was about you thinking you are not going to be a good mother so you dreamt the worst possible scenario to prove your point. But don't you see sweetheart? Even in your dream you were trying to find him, to save him." He could feel that he was reaching her, "I trust you and believe in you and so will our child. I love you so much, Isabella." He said determinedly and Bella couldn't help but cry again.

"I'm so scared Edward." Bella whispered.

"I know baby. But I'll always be here for you. I'm not going anywhere." Edward said firmly.

~TMH~

Bella's second trimester was decidedly better than the first. The bachelorette party was truly insane but one of Bella's best nights. Edward had hung out with his friends but had missed Bella and needed to see her before the wedding, so he had snuck into his old home to surprise her. Well, until his boys arrived, dragging him home. Emmett and Jasper were on strict orders from Esme and they were not about to disappoint. The wedding itself was a small affair at The Cullen's home. Bella had worn a simple but flattering dress while Edward looked dashing in his black tuxedo. The reception was a riotous affair but nothing compared to their honeymoon in Paris. Edward had not been able to show her all the places he had wanted to as Bella preferred to stay in the suite and make love. Yes, that was a perk of the second trimester. Bella found herself in constant need for Edward. It was like her libido had been kicked into overdrive. Edward didn't mind as it was so much better than the mood swings that accompanied the first trimester.

"Edward… oh fuck baby." Bella said frantically.

Bella had done research on the best sexual positions during pregnancy and had found this one position that she was giddy with excitement about trying called the Viennese Oyster Position. Edward was a little skeptical about the position but would never deny her anything so here they were. Bella was now on her back with her legs moved as far above her head as she could manage while Edward rested his hands on her calves, holding her in position. The position was intense and Edward couldn't believe that she could actually hold it but she did and it felt fantastic. In fact, Bella had come almost immediately after he had entered her as he was able to go deeper than he had ever been before which was really saying something.

"Bella... I am so close."

"Me too… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Bella screamed as Edward penetrated her so deeply that it actually hurt but felt so pleasurable as well.

Edward paused momentarily thinking he had harmed her until she glared at him.

"Don't you fucking slow down Edward! Do you hear me?" Bella screamed through gritted teeth, she was so very close to coming again.

Edward closed his eyes tightly knowing he couldn't take much more. He nodded, his face straining, he was trying to hold on but was rapidly losing the battle against his body.

"Bella…Oh God! I need to come baby… Oh God."

"I'm close… push harder." Bella demanded.

"I don't know if I can." He said through raspy breaths.

Without thinking Bella moved her hand and slapped his ass, causing him to open his eyes and look at her. Her chest heaving and breath ragged, she parted her lips and slapped his ass again, harder this time. He took in a quick breath, startled but he could tell by the look in her eyes that she was more than turned on, she was enflamed with desire.

"Do that again." He said emboldened by the look of want on her face.

Bella's need for him was off the chart now. Her breath hitched as she slapped his ass again, watching his face contort as he thrust deeply inside of her. She used her other hand to slap his other cheek watching him flinch but thrust even harder. They set a wild and frenzied pace, with every slap he thrust into her more powerfully than he had previously until they could no longer take it anymore and both came loudly. When their bodies stopped convulsing Edward gingerly removed his satiated cock from her swollen vagina and righted her legs, seeing her wince slightly.

"Are you okay?" He asked, hopeful that their wild lovemaking hadn't hurt her in any way.

"I am better than okay. We are going to have to try that when I'm not pregnant. I bet I could get into the exact position. Oh my God baby… You were phenomenal." She said looking over at him.

Edward smiled and leaned on his elbow, while his other hand gently caressed her protruding belly. She was almost six months pregnant now. Pretty soon he would be a father. He couldn't wait to show his son the world as his father had done for him. She watched him lovingly caress her stomach and was filled with such happiness. Esme had been right about becoming overfilled with love. She now understood what she meant. Edward laid back and grimaced, his ass red and sore. Bella frowned, realizing that she was neglecting her responsibilities and quickly moved to get up, only to be stopped by Edward.

"Baby, I'm going to draw you a warm bath. It will feel good and take the pain away." She said to him.

"I'm okay. It doesn't hurt that bad."

She scowled at him and breathed in deeply, "Edward… don't fight me on this." She said firmly as she rolled out of bed and headed for the door.

Recognizing that this was a Domme thing that he couldn't deny, he nodded at her retreating figure and allowed her to draw a warm bath for him. He smiled knowing that this nurturing piece was actually one of his favorite parts of the whole BDSM thing. His ass really did hurt though. He had never been spanked as a child and found it amusing that he would as an adult but as with everything he and Bella did, he had found it immensely satisfying. He grinned remembering her favorite saying, _pleasure spiked with pain_, he shook his head and got up, following her into the bathroom.

~TMH~

"Bella… baby are you ready?" Edward asked wondering what could be taking her so long.

She came out from the bathroom and immediately sat down on the couch. Bella was now 8 ½ months pregnant and miserable. She was having pain and the doctor wanted to see her but Bella was stalling. She didn't want to think anything could possibly be wrong but at the same time she was nervous and apprehensive.

"Baby, come here." She said calling him over to her.

He came and sat down next her; she immediately laid her head in his lap feeling scared and vulnerable. Edward breathed in deeply before bringing his hands into her hair, gently massaging her scalp. He knew she was worried. She was a doctor and he was positive that she had already outlined all possible outcomes, good and bad.

"Honey. We really need to go." He whispered to her.

"I know." Bella said softly.

As Bella sat up she looked at her loving husband and smiled. She gently touched his face, lightly cupping his cheek before leaning over to kiss him softly on his plump lips. He gave her one of his heartbreaking smiles as she stood up. Edward helped her to her car knowing she wasn't feeling well today. With care he eased her into the front seat of her BMW, glancing quickly at his Jag which was way too low to the ground for her to get in and out of easily. He quickly made his way to the driver's side, watching as she faced the side window and closed her eyes.

Bella knew that her heart condition could pose a problem later in her pregnancy but she was praying that it wouldn't. Bella's OB/GYN, Dr. Craft, was very good and outlined many possibilities with her and Edward; of course Bella had already done this in her head. They had decided that they were going to admit Bella in the hospital as her EKG had been less than satisfactory on her last visit and they wanted to monitor her as a precaution. Dr. Craft had actually toyed with the idea of inducing labor but Bella was strongly against this knowing this could also lead to problems.

Bella and Edward made it into Northwest and were greeted by Bella's friend Corinne who was one of the maternity nurses on the floor. Corinne put her arm around Bella and whispered to her not to worry, she would take good care of her. Bella nodded and knew that she was in safe hands. She trusted the doctors and nurses here. They were her friends. A few years ago she might not have considered them that but now, yes now, they were indeed her friends.

Edward nervously watched as various doctors checked his beloved. He was trying desperately to contain his worry and panic but he was not doing a great job at it. When she was finally settled in he moved the bar down next to him and gently caressed her stomach. He then laid soft kisses all over her belly before laying his head on her stomach, facing her. They stared at each other as a few traitorous tears fell down his face. It was then that she motioned for him to join her and immediately scooted further to the side, allowing him room.

"I love you Edward."

"And I love you Isabella."

She smiled at her handsome and caring husband. The only man she has ever loved or will love but she had been selfish throughout this pregnancy. She had wanted what she wanted and he never denied her. She knew he never would. But what she had to ask him now was making her soul ache, knowing that she was asking a lot out of him.

"If it comes down to me or Robert you must choose Robert do you understand?"

Edward did not want to have this conversation with her. He knew this was a possibility but he would not, could not go there. And now looking at her beautiful and distraught face he was conflicted. He couldn't live without her. He knew that with certainty but they were having a child and surely that had to come first. He couldn't answer her and he couldn't look into her pleading and desperate eyes without losing it so he closed his eyes, shutting out the inevitable.

"Edward, baby… I need to know that you will save him if it comes to that. I couldn't live with myself if I lived and he didn't. Please…baby…Please. Tell me you understand." Bella begged and pleaded with her adoring husband.

Tears streamed down Bella's face as she wrapped her mind around the magnitude of the situation. In her dream she had thrown away her child but in reality she would rather throw herself away than deny him life. He was more than she was, he was a beautiful piece of her and Edward and she would protect him at all cost. Edward had to understand.

"Edward. Please look at me."

Edward opened his eyes slowly, looking into the determined eyes of his wife. He knew that he could not deny her and it broke his heart even more. He prayed daily that this scenario would never come to fruition but he also knew that he had to choose their child. Bella would never forgive him if he didn't. She had tears flowing freely down her face and he leaned closer to her kissing her tears away.

"If it comes to that I will protect our child." He said resting his forehead against hers.

Bella was overwhelmed, her heart and soul ached but she also felt a great deal of relief knowing that no matter what happened her child would grow up with Edward. He would be raised with the most caring and compassionate man she had ever met. She knew from the depths of her soul that he would love their child enough for the two of them. And with that thought she allowed herself to succumb to the sorrow, eventually falling asleep in Edwards reassuring embrace.

~TMH~

The next several days were torturous for Edward as he watched Bella being poked and prodded several times a day. He wasn't allowed to sleep in the bed with her which sent Bella into a rage with her doctor. He finally had to intervene when Bella's heart rate spiked dramatically. Bella had monitors on her belly for the baby as well as monitors for her own heart. She also had an IV because she couldn't hold anything down.

"Baby… can you help me to the bathroom?" Bella asked meekly.

"Of course." Edward replied.

He held her arm and helped her walk the short distance to the bathroom. She stopped midway there and looked up at him in a panic. He searched her eyes trying to understand and then looked down to the floor. He froze when he saw a pool of blood underneath his wife. He looked back up and saw her eyes start to glaze over. _NO!_

"Help! Please someone. HELP!" Edward screamed at the top of his lungs.

He was nowhere near the call button but he just kept screaming for help as he struggled to move his wife back to the bed, the IV making it extremely difficult. He had no other choice but to set Bella down on the floor as he quickly rushed to the bed to hit the call button and then rushed back to his wife. Within seconds several people hurried into the room, quickly assessing the situation. Corinne, who had been a regular visitor since Bella was admitted, looked at Edward sympathetically but he could easily see the concern on her face.

"Step back Edward. Let us take care of her." Corinne said kindly but with force.

Edward stepped back as the doctors and nurses moved her back onto the bed and checked her dilation.

"Bella, stay awake, you are fully dilated, I need you to push." Dr. Craft said urgently.

Bella opened her eyes, looking around the room. She needed Edward. When she spotted him she reached her arms out for him and he was by her side immediately. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, whispering that he loved her over and over again as Bella pushed with all the force she could muster. The pain was excruciating and she screamed, ear piercing, blood curdling screams as she felt her son's head break through.

Edward watched as the doctor pulled his child, their child, all the way out. He was covered in blood and some kind of goop that Edward assumed was the amniotic fluid. Edward could hear the doctor and nurses muttering as they brought his child to a small table that had been wheeled in. Edward was worried. He had thought they would give him to Bella after he was born but they didn't.

"What's his APGAR?" Bella mumbled but no one answered.

"What's his APGAR?" Edward asked louder.

Corinne turned around and put one finger up.

"No, No, No, No…" Bella screamed and tried to move unsuccessfully.

Corinne stared at her friend, a tear coming down her face. "Bella hold on. Please!" She pleaded.

Edward remembered what that meant in his many readings. That wasn't good. It meant, his son was barely breathing. He looked at his wife and she was hysterically sobbing. He was torn between the two of them but his feet immediately started moving towards his son. He swallowed hard and looked over someone's shoulder and caught sight of him. He was beautiful. Robert suddenly started thrashing his legs around and opened his eyes, looking directly at Edward before screaming at the top of his lungs. Edward smiled as he looked into his sons eyes, seeing his wife's eyes reflected back at him. He then turned to see that Bella was watching him with concern. Edward nodded and smiled at her and watched as she brought both of her hands to her face, wiping her eyes as more tears continued to fall. Edward turned back to his son who was being cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket.

Corinne looked at Bella smiling and put up six fingers which caused Bella to smile, relieved that her son was breathing better. Edward tore his eyes away from their child to glance back at Bella and watched in horror as her eyes fluttered. Bella swallowed hard before closing her eyes and suddenly there was a lot of movement in the room again as one of the nurses handed Edward his son. Robert looked up at his father with wide eyes. Edward smiled at him lovingly and then brought him close to his mouth, kissing his forehead while his tears fell onto his son's face. Edward then looked over at Bella, his cheek against his son's cheek. He felt as if a piece of his soul was slipping away. _No! Baby... Please don't leave me! _Edward closed his eyes trying unsuccessfully to contain his sorrow. He could feel his son's breath against his skin as his heart slowly began to break. He knew he had to be strong for him. It was what she expected but he also knew with every aspect of his being that he would be incomplete without her.

Bella felt dizzy again and then that ever familiar feeling of floating surrounded her. She felt herself slipping away, away from Edward, away from her son. _No, No, No... I'm not ready!_ Bella felt an overwhelming ache in her heart. She hadn't seen her son. She couldn't leave them and she wouldn't. She had fought too hard to have both of them and she knew that she must continue to fight. She could see her father in the distance, his kind and loving eyes, inviting her to come with him but she just shook her head at him. She could feel Edward. She couldn't explain it but it was as if his soul was calling to hers. Charlie smiled at his daughter, feeling the fight within her still. Bella watched as he turned around and just like that he was gone. At that very same moment she felt a sharp and powerful pain shooting through her entire body as she convulsed violently. She felt as if she had fallen from a great height and could now hear people in the background but the only one she wanted to hear was Edward. She needed Edward and she needed their son.

Edward opened his eyes and as if drawn by a force he couldn't fight he walked slowly over to his wife, holding their precious child in his arms. She slowly opened her eyes again and made contact with his. He took a sharp intake of breath as he tried to contain the overflow of emotions he was feeling at the moment. They stared lovingly at one another as Edward sat down beside her. He gently placed their son on the bed near her face, so they could finally see one another as he brought his arm around her waist unable to contain the flood of tears the overtook him.

Bella touched Edward's cheek, tenderly wiping away his tears before bringing her eyes to her son. She gasped when she looked onto the face of her child. He looked so much like Edward except with her eyes. He was beautiful; he was perfect, he was just like his daddy. And as she stared into his eyes she knew that all of her fears were unjustified as she realized with certainty that she could never abandon or cause harm to him. He was her world, he was her son and he was her heart, Robert Jordan Cullen.

* * *

><p><strong>AN… Holy Crap! Okay, well I guess I had a little more angst left in me. Of course it makes sense why she was a little upset about getting pregnant right away after the ordeal she went through having Robert. Okay folks, I have another outtake for you that I will hopefully be able to post next week. I might have a couple of other things but I am still trying to decide. Sooooo, anyone ever tried the Viennese Oyster Position? Even in my younger days I would not have been flexible enough for that position….LOL… but hot damn it did sound yummy!**

**Now if you have not heard Maxwell's version of the Kate Bush song please hop on over to the blog (takemehome-lovinrob dot blogspot dot com). I have the outtake playlist now on there. His version is beyond amazing.**

**So as always, hit me up with a review. Let me know what you think **


	11. Outtake: Lady B

**Rating: M- For lemons (lots of them), language and situations. So this means if you're under 16 please be responsible for yourself.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the sole owner of the world of Twilight. I am just having a little harmless fun with her characters.**

**Want to give a shout out to my amazing beta's Amanda & Christy. You gals rock! This outtake was inspired by a few visions I had of Bella and her interactions with her daughter. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't say anything about visions. I might have to admit myself…LOL... The song I used is actually my youngest daughter's song. It came out the year she was born and in one of my lowest times, when I was feeling overwhelmed with life I heard it on the radio and looked over at her sleeping figure and at that moment she opened her eyes and smiled at me and I realized as I listened to the words that a) everything would work out as it should and b) she was truly a gift from God. **

**This outtake takes place 10 years after the epilogue of TMH during Lady B's high school graduation.**

* * *

><p>In my daughter's eyes I am a hero<br>I am strong and wise and I know no fear  
>But the truth is plain to see, she was sent to rescue me<br>I see who I wanna be in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal  
>Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace<br>This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak  
>I find reason to believe in my daughter's eyes<p>

And when she wraps her hand around my finger  
>Oh it puts a smile in my heart<br>Everything becomes a little clearer, I realize what life is all about  
>It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough<br>It's giving more when you feel like giving up  
>I've seen the light, it's in my daughter's eyes<p>

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future  
>A reflection of who I am and what will be<br>Though she'll grow and someday leave, maybe raise a family  
>When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me<br>For I'll be there in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes by Martina McBride

**Outtake: Brett Ashley Cullen**

**BPOV**

"Robbie, where are you taking her?" I ask my son, suspicious immediately. That boy has way too much of me in him to trust completely.

He gives me that smile, that same damn smile his father has, the one he knows works every single time. He leans down and kisses me softly on the forehead. He is definitely up to no good.

"Mom. You worry way too much."

I arch my brow at him and he steps back laughing.

"Kris will be there too. You know she won't let me get into too much trouble."

"Mom, we are just going to listen to a band play. I'm not going to do anything. Don't you trust me?" Lady B says with a pout.

"You I trust, your brother not so much."

Robbie throws his hands against his chest, mocking a chest wound and I can't help but laugh at his theatrics. That boy is nuts sometimes. He had decided his senior year in high school that he didn't want to go to college and wanted to pursue music full time. Granted he does play very well, both piano and guitar, but I was pissed nonetheless. I think I quit talking to him for a good 3 days before I couldn't stand it anymore and gave him my blessing. Not that he really needed it but I know he wanted it. So last year after graduation he moved to Los Angeles to pursue music. He had told us he wanted to do it all on his own but neither Edward nor I were having any of that. So we followed him down there, found a place NOT in the ghetto or gang territory and signed a one year lease on a nice loft. He bitched and complained that it was in Pasadena and not the 'heart of LA' but I told him that Pasadena was as close to LA as he was getting and if he acted up I was gonna cancel that lease and make him move to Cucamonga instead. Heart of LA my ass. Not gonna happen! So Edward and I furnished it and gave him some money, well technically we put money in his checking account every month. There's no way in hell my son is gonna starve trying to become an artist. Robbie had protested profusely but we wouldn't take no for an answer. Edward had simply explained to him that his father had done that for him and that he would just need to accept it or we would drag him back to Seattle, kicking and screaming if necessary. He had looked at our serious expressions and knew without a doubt that we would do it. It took him 3-4 months to finally get some gigs lined up and wouldn't you know it, six months after moving to LA Robbie met Kris at a show he was doing in downtown and they hit it off immediately. By the end of the weekend he was in love and she was living with him. Yeah, déjà mother fucking vu. She is very nice though and quiet but more importantly she makes him happy. They are both up here for Lady B's high school graduation.

"Earth to mom." Lady B says to me and when I look her way she begins begging me, "Please mom. Can I go? Please, Please, Please…"

"Fine, but absolutely NO DRINKING! For any of you." I say indignant.

Robbie again laughs, "Mom, we know. Every time we go out you say the same thing." He then stands tall and gets a serious expression on his face, cocking his brow and placing his hand on his hip. Mocking me, he says, "You know that I'm an addict and that means that you carry that within you as well. You cannot drink because you will most likely become a drunk quicker than your friends. I know it seems fun at the time but it's not. Drinking nearly ruined my life and I won't have that happen to my children."

I stare at him while Lady B and Kris giggle. Do I really sound like that? Probably but fuck it, it's true. Lady B has never had a drink but Robbie. I swear that boy tested my patience. Did I mention that he is a lot like me, stubborn, pig headed and mouthy? He challenged everything. It was always about why? Why not? Why do we have to do it that way? Why can't you let me make my own mistakes? Why don't you trust me? Why, why, why… Thank God Edward is so damn calm because he often served as a go between during Robbie's adolescence or else Lady B would have probably been an only child. Oh, don't get me wrong, Robbie is a great kid. He is so damn smart, smarter than most of the teachers at his school. He taught himself how to play piano when he was 10 and guitar when he was 12. But sometimes being smart just got him in trouble, well that and the fact that he has a quick temper. Another fine feature he got from me. He played around with drinking during high school much to my dismay but thankfully never got addicted. Thank God he didn't inherit THAT wonderful trait of mine. I put my head down and take a deep breath and then feel myself being lifted off of the ground in a huge bear hug and being spun in a circle.

"Mom… I love you but you need to stop freaking out all the time. There is no way in hell I am going to let anything bad happen to my little sister. Besides, Danny and Carter and the rest of the gang are going to be there as well. And you know they will all look out for her too. She will be safe. I promise." He says setting me down.

All I can do is nod, "Alright, alright. I mean it Robbie, if something happens to her."

"Nothing will happen, mom." He says quickly cutting me off. "When's dad gonna be home?"

"He has a night class so not until around 10:30"

"I thought he didn't like night classes. Doesn't being acting Dean give him some kind of special privileges?" He says rolling his eyes as he plops down on the loveseat, motioning for Kris to join him. She giggles as she sits on his lap, snuggling up next to him.

I smile as I watch them, thinking how much they remind me of Edward and me. I sit down across from them, "Well yes, he generally gets to choose which classes he wants but in this case the teacher that was supposed to teach the class couldn't do it at the last minute and he wasn't able to find a replacement quick enough so he had to teach it."

"Hmm, I guess that makes sense." He smiles and then looks at Kris with mischief in his eyes, "Let's got to UW, they have a cool library near my dad's office that I want to show you then we can stop in and see my dad before coming back to get B." She smiles and nods at him.

I nearly choke when he mentions going to the Allen. He loved that place when he was younger, both him and B could always be found in there. Of course the library doesn't mean the same thing to him as it does to me and Edward, well, it better not. But damn just hearing him say he wants to take Kris there makes my whole body tingle thinking about all of the wonderful times Edward and I have had there. God I love that library!

"We'll pick you up at 7:00 Lady B so be ready!" He says winking at her, knowing her propensity for taking forever to get ready for anything. He kisses Kris on the forehead and then lifts her up and off of him much to her delight. They are both giggling and whispering to each other as they walk towards the front door.

"I'll be ready." She says frowning at his retreating figure and then skips upstairs.

I smile and walk into the kitchen to start putting things together for dinner. About an hour or so later I hear all kinds of racket upstairs and go up to see what the hell is going on. When I step inside of Lady B's room she is sitting in the corner crying and there are clothes strewn all over the damn place. I maneuver around the chaos and sit against the wall next to her.

"What's going on B?"

She glances over at me. "I didn't know anyone else was going to be there. I have nothing to wear and I need to look nice. I just…" She puts her head down, crying some more.

"Well, I think the clothes we can work out." I say standing up and reaching my hand out to her.

She takes it and we walk into mine and Edward's bedroom. Now, Edward and I have a fucking awesome bedroom. This was the only room we actually redesigned before we moved in. It takes up half of the upstairs but fuck it I wanted it a certain way. We have a large four post king bed because, well, it was necessary and at the end of the bed is a padded bench that basically houses all of our toys. Plus hell, it's perfect for certain positions. I smile remembering one of the times I had him laying down on it with his arms and legs tied to the posts.

_I stare down at my beautiful husband all sweaty and out of breath. We have been going at it for hours already. The kids are gone tonight and we are taking full advantage of the privacy. We have already fucked against his bookcase, in the shower, on the bed, on our deck, on the stairs and I now have him tied to our bench. His eyes are closed as I tap both of his overly sensitive nipples with my crop. His mouth parts as he lets out a breathy gasp. I smile and do it again and then lean down to swirl my tongue around first one then the other nipple. He is whimpering and I feel his cock start to come to life. He slowly opens his eyes and they are dark with lust. Out of all my toys he likes my riding crop the best. In fact he was the one that pulled it out today, giving me that sexy smirk of his. I was sort of surprised he had the energy left after our sex marathon to want to be tied up as well but fuck it, I am never gonna turn down a bondage & toy request._

"_You like that don't you baby?" I say as I tap his nipples again with the crop._

"_Oh God… Yes, oh Yes… I like it." He whimpers and I do it a few more times and then snap the crop against his thighs as he arches his hips up, wanting more, needing more. _

"_Do you want more Edward?" I ask, leaning down and running my tongue across the head of his cock._

"_More… Please… Baby, More." He says panting, writhing and bucking wildly._

_I grin and hit him softly right along the sensitive skin leading to his ass and then scrape the tip of my crop up his shaft. His eyebrows scrunch together and he starts getting that glassy look in his eyes as his cock bobs in anticipation. He then starts doing that cry moan thing that always sets me on fire and I feel my own pulse quickening. He closes eyes tightly as I quickly tap the crop against his balls, then the base of his cock and then his head. He has started mumbling incoherently as he pants and groans. I can see he is so ready. He isn't going to last very much longer._

"_Oh Fuck baby…" I say straddling his pulsing cock. "Baby, open your eyes and look at me."_

_He opens his hooded eyes and his mouth parts as I take the crop and snap it at my clit a couple of times, moaning as the sensation sends me closer and closer to the edge. Just a little bit more. I snap it again right between his balls and ass and then scrape it across his balls which sends him flying over the edge. Oh My! His cock is pulsing within me and his body is tensed and rigid as I snap it against where our bodies are joined. His whole body convulses as does mine, I continue to tap us there a few more times as we ride out our orgasms, our screams of ecstasy echoing in the room. When I finally feel his cock stop twitching inside of me I drop the crop and lay my head against his chest while I try to control my own breathing. Oh man, we are so not going to be functional at Frankie's party tomorrow, hell I doubt either of us will be able to get out of bed. I kiss him lightly on his chest looking up at the almost drunk look on his face. Man, I am going to be lucky if I can get him in bed. I smile and slowly separate from him, kneeling to untie his binds._

I am drawn out of my memory by Lady B's desperate sigh. I glance around our room with a smile. It really is a great room. We had them build a reading nook in one of the corners of the room so that it overlooks the backyard and next to the nook are built in bookshelves that house Edward's favorite books. Not too far from the nook there is a sliding glass door that leads out to our private deck which has very, very comfortable deck lounges that have been broken in many times. In addition there is a huge master bathroom set up just like the one at the Edgewater because I HAD to have it and finally there is a very large walk in closet. I think over the years Edward and I have fucked on every possible surface in this room.

Lady B sits down on the bench with another sigh as I walk into the closet. I pull out several dresses that have not seen the light of day for at least 10 or more years. I don't keep everything but some things I didn't have the heart to get rid of. I flip through and grab about six dresses that are not too revealing and place them on the bed. A smile comes across B's face as she picks up several of them stopping on one in particular.

"I've never seen you wear this one?" She says picking up a red, silver and black sequined mini dress.

"Your aunt designed that one for me about 20 years ago. I actually took that dress to Paris." I say with a smile, remembering how Edward couldn't keep his hands off of me. Hmm, maybe I should rethink this. The dress is not revealing at all. In fact it is a loose fitting dress with ¾ sleeves with a round neckline but it is extremely short and very sparkly. I was just starting to show and Alice said it would make me look sexy but not really pregnant. She was right of course. She's always right it seems.

"It's so pretty. Can I try it on?" She says lovingly touching the fabric.

"Of course."

She quickly takes her clothes off and slips the dress on which actually fits her perfectly. Well, we are basically the same size. I hand her the shoes that go with it and she stands there posing in my three way mirror.

"So, are you planning on telling him tonight? Is that what this whole I need to look nice thing is coming from?"

She stops posing and turns to look at me.

"I don't know. No…" She says turning back around. She starts playing with her hair nervously.

"Why not?"

"Mom it doesn't matter anyway. He is going to Arizona State and I am attending UW." She takes a deep breath before turning around and leaning against the mirrors. "He doesn't see me that way, anyway."

"Oh honey… he definitely sees you that way. But the thing is you two have been skirting around each other for years. You know I saw it a long time ago but both of you are too busy denying your feelings to see that maybe you two are meant to be together."

She grins, "You sound like grandma."

"Yeah, well I have had enough therapy. I probably know more than most shrinks out there." I say with a chuckle.

She walks over and sits down on the bench next to me. She looks down and I can tell she is contemplating. She looks nervous and sad all of a sudden.

"If I say something to him and he tells me he thinks of me as… I don't know… a sister I will just die." She says softly.

I wrap my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. "But wouldn't you rather know than just wonder?"

"I don't think I could take it if he said no. I would be devastated." And I can tell by the sound of her voice that she is crying.

I rub her shoulders lovingly and then squeeze her tighter, "Well… if that happens then I will just have to go over there and kick his ass."

She giggles against me, "Well, I think if you did that his mom might try to kick yours."

Now it's my turn to giggle, "Oh I can take her."

"That would be worth it right there. We could sell tickets." She says laughing as she wipes her eyes and looks up at me, "I love you mom."

"I love you too sweetheart."

~TMH~

At 6:45 Robbie and Kris were back at the house. Apparently neither one of them is planning on dressing up. She has on jeans and one of his t-shirts which she has knotted to the side and he is wearing jeans and a plaid shirt unbuttoned part way with a black beanie on his head. I swear the two of them look like poster children for the grunge movement of the 90's. When Lady B walks down the stairs a smile spreads across mine and Kris's face and a frown across Robbie's. He turns and glares at me.

"You're going to let her wear that?" He says, infuriated.

I laugh, "Of course. She looks beautiful."

"Everyone is going to be staring at her." He says flustered.

"Well, isn't that the point." I say giving him my best 'DUH!' look.

He turns to her, "Go change Lady B. You're going to make me get in a fight wearing that outfit."

She places her hands on her hips and shakes her head, "No way. Mom said I could wear it. Auntie made it for her for their honeymoon. It's perfect! I'm not changing." She says holding her ground. He stares at her for a moment and then turns to me.

"Does dad know she's wearing that?"

"Oh for crying out loud Robbie calm down. She looks extraordinary. And aside from it being short it is not revealing at all. She's not a little girl anymore." I say forcefully.

"Robbie. She looks beautiful" Kris says, touching his arm. "She's an adult and she has a right to wear what she wants to wear."

He looks conflicted. He has always been protective of her; well over-protective is more like it. She wasn't able to have a boyfriend until high school because Robbie and the boys would scare them off. I still remember the drama that ensued with her first boyfriend. Robbie was a sophomore and B was a freshman.

_I am cuddled into Edward's arms as we sit with Alice and Jasper and Rose and Emmett watching Frankie's game. He's the starting wide receiver for the local high school team. The boys, Robbie, Danny & Carter are sitting together laughing, all huddled together a few rows below us. Oh those boys are definitely up to something. A few minutes later the three of them jump up simultaneously, pulling their shirts off and swirling them over their heads, chanting "Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, Frankie." Until Frankie turns and starts laughing at them. I just shake my head and glance to see that Edward, Em and Jazz are all laughing riotously. Boys!_

"_Robbie, you better come quick." Michael says running up to the three of them out of breath just as they are putting their shirts back on._

_I cock my eyebrow and stare at Edward who looks upset immediately. Michael looks up quickly at his parents and then us. But before he can say anything else Robbie is yanking him down the stairs and telling him to lead the way. Edward and I look at each other and I am already feeling a panic brewing in my gut and just as I decide to go looking for them Amanda and Christy are running up the stairs frantic and out of breath._

"_Auntie you better get over there. B is crying. Sammie and Erin are with her but she asked us to get you." Amanda says out of breath._

_I jump up quickly on high alert as all of us follow the girls. We run to the side of the school, behind the concession stands where I see two things concurrently 1) Lady B is leaning against the wall crying while Sammie and Erin try to calm her down and 2) Robbie is beating the shit out of Lady B's boyfriend, while Danny and Carter are trying unsuccessfully to pull him off. Edward quickly runs to Robbie and yanks him off of Jason._

"_Dad let me go. He deserves it."_

"_Calm down Robbie." Edward says, jerking him further away before letting him go._

_All the boys look at us and I swear Danny and Carter look fit to be tied. If Frankie wasn't playing right now I am sure he would be right in the middle of this as well. Lady B looks up and sees me and runs to me quickly, wrapping her arms around me and crying._

"_Mom I want to go home." She says through fits of tears._

"_Of course sweetheart." I turn to Edward. "I'm taking B home."_

_He nods as he tries to prevent Robbie from going after Jason again. But as he's doing that I see Carter clock Jason in the eye and then Danny gets a few good kicks in when he falls to the ground. The last thing I see is Emmett swooping each of them up, one under each arm as they are kicking and wriggling trying desperately to get out of their dad's death grip. If I wasn't so upset about B I would laugh at the sight. When we are safely on our way home I turn to her and take in her appearance. She looks okay physically. Her clothes aren't torn but she still looks bad._

"_B, what happened?"_

_She doesn't turn to me and continues to stare out the window._

"_I was with the girls and when we went to look for Jason we found him behind the concession stand kissing Brittany. I couldn't move so Christy pushed him off of her by the back of his hair and then Amanda slapped Brittany and told her to get lost. Brittany took off and Jason turned to me and I could tell that he was mad. He started saying mean things to me..." I see her wince and I am pissed already, thinking maybe Edward shouldn't have pulled Robbie off of him. _

"_He was saying I was a tease and that if I wasn't he wouldn't have to go to someone else. So I slapped him. He got really pissed and pushed me against the wall calling me a bitch but before anything else could happen Robbie was there and he threw him away from me. I just started crying and wanted to go home so I asked them to go get you." _

_I can see her chest heaving._

"_Why would he do that mom?" but before I have a chance to answer her I hear her say under her breath, "Maybe I should have just had sex with him like he wanted."_

_Oh… no… she… didn't. I pull to the side of the road quickly and turn to her._

"_Brett Ashley Cullen… Look at me!" _

_She turns to me and there is a little fear in her eyes now. I never call her Brett. It's always Lady B or B. But this is serious. I will not have her believe that she is supposed to put out. She is so sweet and caring, so much like her father and I will not have some asshole taint that. Yes, I should have definitely let Robbie beat the shit out of him. In fact I might just text Edward to tell him to let Robbie at him again._

"_You should never have sex with anyone just to keep them. You know my history Brett. I made many mistakes when I was younger. I used sex and I used men. Your father changed that and I will not allow you to think for one single minute that sex is the answer. If that's all he wants from you than FUCK HIM! He isn't good enough." I say incensed._

_Fuck! I can't believe this shit. I am having a really hard time right now not pulling the car around and beating the crap out of him myself. She is staring at me with wide eyes. _

"_You need to save yourself for someone who will love you and only you. Someone who will cherish you and the ground that you walk on. That is the minimum that you deserve. Do you understand me?" I say as calmly as I can under the circumstances._

_She nods, tears streaking her face as she wraps her arms around me._

I am brought out of my memory by Robbie's harsh voice.

"Fine, whatever. But you aren't talking to ANYONE!" Robbie says with a huff as he turns to walk out the door.

Kris walks over to B and smiles at her, "Don't worry B. I will keep him occupied for you." She says with a wink before taking her hand and walking towards the door.

Lady B blushes profusely and nods before turning back to me. "Bye mom. I love you."

"Bye sweetheart. Have fun." She grins and starts following Kris, "But not too much fun." I say as she opens the door and waves without turning around.

I grin and look around the room. Soon B will move out. It's required that all freshman stay on campus. We told her we could get her out of it but she really wanted to live in a dorm so she will move by the end of the summer and then it will just be Edward and I. Not that I am complaining but it's going to be weird not running around for someone. I glance at the clock knowing I have a while before Edward is home. I smile as I pick up one of B's baby pictures. I had such a difficult pregnancy with her. I was so depressed throughout most of it. Dr. Jackson had said it was partly postpartum depression along with just the normal crazy hormones of pregnancy. But by the end of the second trimester I had decided that I was getting my tubes tied. I couldn't do another pregnancy. I wasn't cut out for it. What I didn't anticipate was how angry Edward would get. We fought for two months and during that time he became more and more distant with me. That was the loneliest I have ever felt since he came into my life.

_He texted me that he was running late and wouldn't be home for another hour. That's been happening a lot lately. I think he doesn't want to be around me but he denies it when I say that. I walk outside to the patio of our new home, carrying the baby monitor in my hand. Robbie is fast asleep and I am getting stir crazy. I sit down and lean against the wall, watching the moon and wishing my dad was here. Would he be on my side or Edward's I wonder. The moon moves a little higher up so I lay down on the patio, watching it, trying desperately not to get drawn into the darkness. Pretty soon I hear his keys drop on the table and then hear his footsteps walk up the stairs. A few moments later I hear him in Robbie's room. Robbie starts cooing. He's awake._

"_Hey big man. Where's mama?"_

_I feel tears coming out of my eyes as I listen to him taking care of his son. He's such a good father. He always gets up in the middle of night, more so now that I am so far along. I listen to him talking to Robbie and after a while I hear footsteps coming back down the stairs. There is hesitation and then the steps start coming my way. He steps outside and sits down next to me, bringing my head into his lap and gently stroking my hair. I feel the tears again._

"_What are you doing out here baby?" He says sweetly._

_I don't say anything, but swallow hard. He continues to stroke my hair and I am sure he can feel my tears. How could he not?_

"_Are you still mad at me?"_

"_Isabella. I love you, always."_

"_That doesn't answer my question." I say rolling on my back so I can see him._

_He looks away from me and closes his eyes._

"_You made this decision and you gave me no choice. You just did it. You didn't consider how I would feel about it. Hell. You didn't even ask me for input." He says sharply. "We're supposed to be partners but…" he takes a deep breath, "you're making all the decisions."_

_He finally looks down at me, with hurt and anguish on his face. I know that he is right but I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to make him comprehend what I'm feeling._

"_You don't understand what this is like for me. Every day Edward, every single day I just want to be dead, just so I can't feel all of this anymore..." He winces when I say dead but I need to make him understand, "I have to fight so hard to not listen to all the shit going on in my head, to not just run my car off the road and be done with it. Why do you think I quit driving?" I feel tears streaking down my face, "I don't trust myself and I don't know, I'm tired Edward. I'm tired of feeling like this. This is my second pregnancy and its worse than the first. What makes you think a third or fourth would be any better?" He is watching me intently and I can tell he is trying to fight back tears, "It won't be better Edward but what if during those pregnancies I'm not able to win the battle? What if in a moment of weakness I listen to the craziness in my head and do something to hurt myself or our children? Is that what you want?"_

_He frowns, "Of course not."_

"_Please, tell me you understand. I don't want to lose you but… I don't want to lose myself either. I need you. Oh God Please Edward, I need you." I say feeling the heaviness of my words weighing me down. I can't do this without him. Why can't he see that?_

_He leans down and pulls me up into his arms and I can feel his tears._

"_I'm here baby. We'll get through this together." He reaches his hand under my chin forcing me to look at him and in his eyes I see love and determination, "Always." He whispers._

The sound of my phone brings me out of my memory. I smile when I see it's from Edward. I wipe my eyes and quickly answer it.

"Hey baby." He says in that sweet melodious voice of his.

I smile, "Are you on break?"

"Yeah. So what was B wearing that had Robbie in such a state?"

I laugh, "That red and black dress I wore on our honeymoon. She wanted to dress up so we raided my closet. I figured it was one of the least revealing things I owned."

He lets out a soft breath. "God! You were beautiful in that dress. If I remember correctly we didn't make it out of the gallery before I had to have you."

"Yes, you have a great memory Professor Cullen." I say grinning.

He starts laughing, God I love the sound of his laugh, "Robbie said he'll have her home by midnight, sooner if someone starts hitting on her."

I can't help but laugh at that, "Who's her father exactly."

"I know, I know… well, I was curious about what she picked out. The way Robbie was acting I wondered what you let her wear. As protective as you are, I knew it couldn't be as bad as Robbie was making it out to be." He says chuckling.

"Yeah, he still acts like she's 12. I can't believe he called you."

He laughs again, "I better go baby. I love you!"

"I love you too. Now go and impart some knowledge."

He chuckles, "Will do ma'am."

I hang up and walk into the kitchen to grab a drink. Everything seems so quiet. Edward hasn't had to teach a night class for several years. I am only working part time right now at the hospital and volunteering part time at Swan House so my nights are always free. I glance at the calendar and smile. It's a full moon.

"_What are you doing hun?" Edward asks coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He gently kisses right behind my ear and I shiver in response. He giggles at my reaction and then looks up, following my gaze outside. "What's she doing?"_

"_I think she is picking flowers."_

_We are both watching B who is now 5; skip around to the various flower beds in the backyard, touching several flowers before breaking the stem and putting them in her shirt, which she is holding up like a basket. She does this for a while and then starts skipping back towards the house with a huge smile on her face._

"_What cha got there Lady B?" I ask with a smile when she enters the kitchen._

"_Flowers for grandpa." She says in her sing song voice. "Mama, can we make them real purty like they do on TV?" She says bouncing on the balls of her feet._

"_Sure sweetheart. Grandpa Carlisle will like that a lot." I say as I pull out a large mixing bowl for her to drop the flowers in._

"_These aren't for Grandpa Carlisle, Mama."_

_Edward and I look at each other confused. She then skips over to the calendar and points to the picture of the moon, showing that tonight there will be a full moon. _

"_Robbie said that when the picture looks like that then the moon is the biggest and the brightest. That means Grandpa Charlie will be able to see really far tonight."_

_I bring my hand to my mouth and breathe in deeply, I can feel tears already pooling in my eyes._

"_These are for Grandpa Charlie." I choke out._

"_Uh huh. Do you think he will like them mama?"_

I smile and take a deep breath. She has always been so caring and compassionate. I have tried so desperately not to remember my childhood and the things I went through but B, she just brings a new meaning to everything. A new hope and I couldn't help but look at the world through her eyes when we were together. I look out at the moon and decide to go lay outside for a while. I haven't done that in a long time. I walk to the hall closet and grab a blanket, throwing it over my arm and walking outside. The air is crisp and clean. There is a gentle breeze blowing that makes everything feel so fresh and perfect. I lay down in the middle of our yard, looking up at the bright orb in the sky. Every time the moon was full B wanted to bring a blanket outside and talk to Grandpa Charlie. She hasn't done that in a long time though. We had some of our best conversations out here.

"_Mom, how do you know when you are in love?"_

_I glance at her. She's only 12. Please don't tell me she has a boyfriend. No, if she had a boyfriend Robbie would definitely tell on her. But my heart is beating fast nonetheless._

"_Um, I guess it's sort of different for everyone."_

"_How did you know you loved daddy?"_

"_Your daddy was the only man I ever loved and I loved him the day I met him."_

"_So you have never been with anyone else."_

_UH OH! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God… I really don't want to go there. She turns her head so she can look at me. I can't lie to her but hell I don't want her to know I was a whore. FUCK!_

"_Umm… No I have been with other people. I never met anyone like your dad though. He showed me what love was but I made a lot of mistakes before I met him and even in the beginning of our relationship I had some difficulties trusting in the idea of love."_

_She watches me for a moment, processing what I am saying. I think she might be satisfied with that answer but I can tell by the look on her face that she has further questions about that. Well… I will be honest with her when she asks. I just hope it isn't tonight!_

"_Do you guys ever fight? Sandra says her parents fight all the time but I can't think of a time when you two were mad at each other."_

"_Well… I don't know. We disagree sometimes but basically he lets me have my way." I say smiling. She looks at me real serious for a minute and then laughs. She knows it's true._

"_So I should strive to find a man who will let me have my way all the time. Is that your motherly advice to me?" She says sarcastically._

"_Alright, don't be a smart ass…" I say laughing. "All I can say honey is that love is when you put someone else's needs above your own, when you look at them and you can't imagine any other place you want to be and when they kiss you, your world stops and you know in your heart and soul that as long as they are near, you can get through anything." I take a deep breath, "At least that is how it is for your father and I. I suppose someone else may have a different version."_

_She is watching me and she has tears in her eyes._

I am startled awake when I feel Edward move his hips against me. I smile as my eyes open to the most stunning sight imaginable. Edward had already removed his shirt and is unbuttoning his slacks. The light of the moon is reflecting off of his pale skin making him seem almost ethereal. He swivels his hips again, giving me that sexy smirk he knows I love and then lifts up to take his pants all the way off, never once taking his eyes off of me. He is still the most beautiful man I have ever seen. His muscles may not be as refined as they once were but I still lose my breath just looking at him. He quickly removes my shorts and top and starts running his hands over my breasts and then my stomach.

"You look so beautiful laying here." He says as he kisses me softly on my lips and then down my neck, "I just couldn't resist."

"I've missed you today." I whisper, running my fingers into his hair.

"I hate this current schedule I have. I am away too much." He says as he brings one of my nipples into his mouth.

I close my eyes and moan. How can after all these years he still make me feel like this. I run my hand down his back, resting them over his plump ass.

"I think I want to take some time off this summer. I have accumulated a lot of vacation that I need to use. Maybe we could travel or something after B moves out but before the next semester starts for you." I say between moans of delight.

"We could go back to Paris." He says looking up at me and smiling.

Oh yeah, I really liked Paris. He spoke French the whole time we were there and I couldn't control myself. Every time he opened his mouth I needed to fuck him. We actually didn't see too much of the city. I smile as he starts moving his mouth down towards my stomach. I knead his fine ass and bring his legs up and he looks back at me with fire in his eyes. He knows what I want. I lay on my side as does he and I bring his cock into my mouth, squeezing his balls as I take him to the back of my throat.

"Fuuucccckkkk!" He mumbles before plunging his tongue inside of me.

We are both resting our heads on the others legs as we pleasure one another. I love to 69 in this position because we both seem to have more ability to move. He loves it because I suck him slowly, prolonging his orgasm. He usually ends up making me come a few times before I make him come. He brings his mouth further against me as he removes his tongue and starts nipping around my folds and clit. I buck into him moaning against his cock which makes him suck and nibble harder against me. I instinctively clamp my leg down over his head as he swirls his tongue around me and then in me making me writhe in pleasure.

I start scraping my teeth over his cock, moaning and grunting as my release takes me. I find myself sucking more vigorously on him as my one hand works his balls while my other hand is kneading his ass. He is panting against my pussy, his hot breath setting me on fire. I quickly start moving my finger from the base of his balls to his ass and back again, just barely circling his hole as he whimpers against me. He grabs my ass and starts moving me against his mouth in a circular manner and fuck me if he isn't going to make me come again.

I pull his body closer to me, his cock moving smoothly down my throat over and over again. I start humming against his pulsing cock and squeeze his balls which are now hard as a rock. I use my finger to circle his hole again and then press down softly causing his whole body to vibrate as warm fluid shoots down my throat. He bites down on my clit and I cry out, my body shaking and convulsing as I cum again. We are both breathing heavily as we continue to suck and lick one another. When his cock is completely flaccid he rolls away from me on his back, reaching his hands out to me. I crawl to him quickly, wrapping my arms around his chest.

"I love you so much." I say breathlessly.

"Mmm, me too baby."

"We've had a good life haven't we?" I say kissing him lightly on the chest.

"A very good life and it will just keep getting better." He says kissing the top of my head. "I can't believe I am finally going to get you all to myself."

"We can actually have sex wherever we want to." I say pinching his nipple.

He laughs, "Is that all you want me for?"

I run my hand down his chest and start entwining my fingers in his oh so happy trail. I kiss him lightly on the chest again and look up at him, "Nah… I kind of like you a little too."

He smiles and pulls me on top of him, bringing his knees up so that I am cradled between them with my breasts pressed against his chest. He starts kissing me and running his hands over my back and ass and then back up again. We continue to kiss and he continues to caress me until we hear a car pull into the driveway. Then it was scramble time to get our clothes back on before the kids walked through the living room and could see us which is sort of funny considering my proclivity towards public sex. Of course that's not so much anymore and I certainly don't want my kids to see us naked and having sex. When we are fully dressed Edward stands up and reaches his hands to me, helping me up. He pulls me into his arms smiling widely as he kisses me lightly on the forehead.

"To be continued." He says sexily.

"I should hope so, Professor Cullen." I say with a smirk.

~TMH~

The graduation was simply perfect. We had all decided to throw a joint graduation party since Lady B, Danny and Carter were all graduating this year. And of course as is custom the shin dig was being held at Carlisle and Esme's house. Both Carlisle and Esme traveled all the time now. In fact we saw them very rarely. Esme had retired a few years ago but got stir crazy and decided she wanted to travel to every continent and see everything. Carlisle had NOT retired yet but he wasn't about to have his wife traipsing across the world without him. So he went part time and did most of his work through his proxy which was Frankie. Frankie was the only one of his grandchildren that showed any interest in business and had been working with Carlisle since high school. He isn't finished with college yet but spends most of his time with him at the office learning the ropes. I think Carlisle will retire when Frankie finishes school and can officially take over for him. By the time that happens Frankie will be well established in the company. Everyone loves him anyway but they also know that Carlisle is grooming him to take over so no one has any intention of going against Carlisle's wishes. No one is THAT stupid!

Esme had outdone herself yet again. It was similarly decorated for Robbie's graduation as well as Frankie's. She had flowers everywhere, a DJ and a huge dance floor with tables finely decorated all around it. The dinner was exquisite and there were tons of gifts. Danny and Carter were out on the dance floor dancing crazy with two girls I didn't really recognize. Of course the one with Carter was grinding up against him like she wanted to have his baby. Good Lord! Was I that bad? Robbie and Kris were dancing close together swaying to a beat that was all their own. Yep, she will be around for a while. I don't even think they notice anyone else. The girls were all dancing with some boys but basically I think they are dancing with each other. I finally see B and she is not on the dance floor but is staring at everyone with a pained expression on her face. I sigh and walk over to her.

"You know. If he were my man I sure as hell wouldn't let some other girl dance with him like that."

She rolls her eyes, "He's not 'my man' mom." She says angrily.

"Well, maybe you need to rectify that." I say in her ear. "What's the worst that could happen?"

She shrugs and then looks like she might cry as her mouth opens and closes several times without actually saying anything.

"What do I do?"

I smile, "Well, if it was me I would just walk up to him, grab his face and kiss him with such passion that he would forever remember the day that I chose him."

She turns to me and her face turns scarlet, okay well maybe too soon for that.

"Or you could just walk up to him and say let's dance."

She lets out an exaggerated sigh, "You make it all sound so easy."

I laugh, "It is honey. You are in charge. You decide. You don't give him a choice. Guys like that."

She is breathing heavily, just watching. I swear sometimes I can't believe she's my daughter. I would have been on that a long time ago. She takes a deep breath and starts walking out to the dance floor and I see her stop when he looks up at her. She looks down at the ground and takes another deep breath and walks over to him. She sort of nudges the tramp dancing with him out of the way and then brings her hands to Carter's face, kissing him right there on the dance floor. He looks surprised at first and then his eyes flutter closed as he pulls her closer to him. I bring my hand to my mouth. Holy shit! I can't believe she did it.

Several people stop dancing and stare at them. I glance around and see the girls jumping up and down, screaming like teenage girls do. I know they have been pushing her, especially Amanda and Christy. I look over at Rose and she has her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a smile. Her and I had discussed this in depth a while back and wondered how long it would take them to pull their heads out of their assess and realize maybe they should be together. Carter never said anything to her but she sensed it as well as I did. I grin when I see Emmett with his mouth hung open in shock. Robbie and Kris are in their own bubble so he hasn't noticed what is going on around him… yet!

"Is that B?" Edward says walking up next to me, "When the hell did she start liking Carter?"

Men… I swear they notice nothing! "Edward they have liked each other for a long time. They just wouldn't admit it to one another." I say rolling my eyes at him.

Then he laughs, "Look at Emmett, I think he is about to have kittens."

I start laughing as Edward wraps his arms around my waist and then leads me to the dance floor. We get just close enough to see when Robbie goes ballistic.

"What the hell Carter!" Robbie says pushing him away from B.

"I'm sorry man, she kissed me."

"I didn't see you stop her."

"Robbie man, calm down." Danny says trying to stop the inevitable.

Robbie turns to Lady B frowning, "What the hell are you thinking B?" Robbie says somewhat defeated, "He's my best friend, that's not cool."

She puts her head down, "I don't know. I just…I think I love him."

"What the fuck!" Robbie says stepping back. He turns and looks at Carter like he wants to hit him or something.

"Don't be mad at him. He didn't know I was going to do that." She says to Robbie angrily and then turns to Carter, "I like you… a lot. I have for a long time. I couldn't have you leave without telling you that. I'm sorry. I… I didn't want to cause a problem." She says turning around and quickly trying to make her way off the dance floor.

"Wait!" He yells at her retreating figure.

He darts through the crowd and finally catches up to her. He turns her around and she immediately looks to the ground. I am watching hoping that he doesn't do something that's going to make me kick his ass.

"I love you too." He says with a huge cheesy smile and then pulls her into his arms and kisses her ardently while Robbie groans in the background.

"Robbie… Quit it and I mean NOW!" I say to him sternly.

He looks at Edward like somehow he will be on his side but Edward is frowning at him and shaking his head in disapproval. Robbie sighs and mumbles some obscenities before walking away with Kris. He's been in Cali too long. He's already cussing like them.

"Well… What's a party without a little drama?" Edward says smirking and then kissing me.

"Can we start our vacation now?" I whisper against his lips.

He giggles and kisses me again as the music changes. When we come up for air I look around the dance floor. I see Lady B and Carter go off to a table away from everyone else. They are leaning into each other talking intently. Kris has Robbie to the side and she is whispering to him and I can tell he is trying to still be mad but I catch him grinning. I look around and see my friends and family and I know that I have truly been blessed. I never would have thought that someone like me would find happiness and love but I did. I know I still have that bitch inside of me but she doesn't rear her head as much as when I was younger. And as I dance with my beautiful and sexy husband I find myself in awe that such a perfect and loving man walked into my life so long ago. And I realize that Edward is right, it is only going to get better.

* * *

><p><strong>The end (really, I mean it this time)<strong>

**A/N…. Okay this is the final outtake of the story I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. So did anyone guess who she liked before I announced it at the end? I just had a vision of the two of them together and technically they are not family as Rose and Emmett are not related to the Cullen's in any way. I do still plan on doing a separate story on Daddy C but that won't happen for about a month or so. Gonna focus on RoaL which I hope you are all enjoying.**

**Ohhhh... I almost forgot, what an awful beta I am...LOL... My girl Jen's (stratocastic1969) story Country Women Will Survive has been nominated on the Lemonade Stand for the FF of the week poll so if you are reading it or just want to support my girl, hop on over to TLS and VOTE! www tehlemonadestand net/?zx=432885020e8457ec**

**Alrighty folks… hit me up with a review. You know you want to **


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